Sobriety, V2.

[detrusor]

I’m w byates, no go on the NA beers..too close to home

[rideit]

Yeah, agree, I don’t understand them. They don’t actually taste that good, and have a bunch of empty soda calories, basically.

[SoVT Joey]

6 years ago I was given an ultimatum to get a counselor. After three rehabs, burying a bunch of buddies, and countless failed counselors, I laughed and gave what I thought was lip service. Well my google search was a win, probably one of the few times I’m actually thankful for google other then a good new porn stream. Anyway, guy was a builder, divorced twice, remarried, smokes herb, doesn’t drink, went to Rikers, grew up homeless, and has real life experience. I have been seeing him weekly religiously since. Some weeks we shoot the shit about nothing, but some weeks I need that session.

So anyway, where I was going with this, I lost a friend a few years ago to heroin. I don’t keep in touch with many from my drug using past but this guy I did. I’d see him around. Sometimes he was on the mend, others a complete shit show. I ended up helping him out in trying to get clean. He asked me and it’s the least i can do I feel knowing what I went through. So I helped him, full well knowing that first and foremost I had to be careful for myself, but also it may or may not work. 12 days clean he woke up and was out of suboxone. Instead of detoxing and getting sick his inner junky kicked in and he went and scored. Went home and over dosed in his bed at his parents. I was really upset. I knew it could happen but I thought I would help him beat it. I was wrong.

On that Wednesday I sat talking to my guy about it and he stopped me after I explained and talked for a while. He told me about his mentor and counselor he had. My counselor had been through the same and so had his counselor. We he was dealing with his situation his counselor stopped him and asked him if he knew what the plaque on his desk said that faced him when he sat there. My counselor said no and asked what. The plaque simply said “not everyone can be saved”.

I’ve taken that with me. It’s helped me not to beat myself up and not hold responsibility for things I don’t control. I will always help and support when I can, but I also have to remember that drugs and addicts are very selfish and if I’m not selfish and don’t look out for myself I can end up getting sucked in to owning others issues or, for me, verging on disaster.

Long story short, you’ve tried. It hurts you and makes you want to do anything. But it’s not up to anyone but the addict. Unfortunately.


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[SoVT Joey]

Oh and btw, I don’t get the NA beers. Probably because I only like drinking beer for one reason and it’s not the taste.


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[Cono Este]

6 years ago I was given an ultimatum to get a counselor. After three rehabs, burying a bunch of buddies, and countless failed counselors, I laughed and gave what I thought was lip service. Well my google search was a win, probably one of the few times I’m actually thankful for google other then a good new porn stream. Anyway, guy was a builder, divorced twice, remarried, smokes herb, doesn’t drink, went to Rikers, grew up homeless, and has real life experience. I have been seeing him weekly religiously since. Some weeks we shoot the shit about nothing, but some weeks I need that session.

So anyway, where I was going with this, I lost a friend a few years ago to heroin. I don’t keep in touch with many from my drug using past but this guy I did. I’d see him around. Sometimes he was on the mend, others a complete shit show. I ended up helping him out in trying to get clean. He asked me and it’s the least i can do I feel knowing what I went through. So I helped him, full well knowing that first and foremost I had to be careful for myself, but also it may or may not work. 12 days clean he woke up and was out of suboxone. Instead of detoxing and getting sick his inner junky kicked in and he went and scored. Went home and over dosed in his bed at his parents. I was really upset. I knew it could happen but I thought I would help him beat it. I was wrong.

On that Wednesday I sat talking to my guy about it and he stopped me after I explained and talked for a while. He told me about his mentor and counselor he had. My counselor had been through the same and so had his counselor. We he was dealing with his situation his counselor stopped him and asked him if he knew what the plaque on his desk said that faced him when he sat there. My counselor said no and asked what. The plaque simply said “not everyone can be saved”.

I’ve taken that with me. It’s helped me not to beat myself up and not hold responsibility for things I don’t control. I will always help and support when I can, but I also have to remember that drugs and addicts are very selfish and if I’m not selfish and don’t look out for myself I can end up getting sucked in to owning others issues or, for me, verging on disaster.

Long story short, you’ve tried. It hurts you and makes you want to do anything. But it’s not up to anyone but the addict. Unfortunately.


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Thank you. It’s a sad truth I am learning. I don’t drink, but with weed being legalized in Mo. this drove me to smoke my brains out. During the first collapse last yr, and inbetween when I stepped away per the program and got depressed. I’m talking 24/7, an 1/8 every two days. I’ve always self medicated but took a.break with kids after leaving Cali. Had two weeks of withdrawal, never had that before. I also have had some bad depression in my times, and this brought out some bad memories living overseas as a kid in dangerous places. It’s basically ripped me apart watching this person kill themselves. When I got control in May, realized how I got in this fucked situation, an empty nest,her narcissism and addiction, plus a 30 day season reminded me of who I really am. I decided I had to bail from this town, listed my house, then this started again. Everything happens for a reason.

I havent had the urge to smoke, cause I made a plan. So far so good.

Thank you again.

[Bosco]

Thanks to those that recommended the book This Naked Mind by Annit Grace. I'm only half way through, but I think it's a good read whether you drink or not, just to get someones insights on why people drink. I particular like the comparisons between the conscious and unconscious mind.

[The Reverend Floater]

Alcohol finally killed a friend of mine today. We had worked together for years until he was fired for performance issues a few years ago.

It was the classic case of a very good and kind soul who had unshakable demons that eventually cost him his job, most of his friends, and his family. And then it finally destroyed him. Many of his friends and coworkers tried to help over the years--covering for him at work, offering treatment, etc but he never wanted it. Alcohol is a motherfucker.

And as mentioned up-thread, you cannot help anyone who doesn't want it. It's like a law of physics--it just can't be done.

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[byates1]

shit man sorry to hear.

[Buster Highmen]

Condolences Rev.

I too have a friend, one of my tightest old acid buddies from the 70s who's been a hard drinker for years. But when his wife went nuts, he really went at it, lost his job and has been through rehab 3 times now, the last time after a serious DUI with the clink in the recipe unless he stays off the booze.

So far, so good, but I wonder if he really wants it. I spent a lot of time visiting and just trying to be there, discouraging alcohol, going for walks in between dropping and picking up my son from that freaky school in SE Stumptown. I didn't harp on it too much, just tried to be there in a really shitty situation.

Probation and the threat of the big house is keeping him clean, but I'm wondering what's going to happen once probation's over.

[seano732]

Ok mags, here’s my story (abridged). I have struggled with ETOH my entire adult life. I’ve had periods of sobriety/ clarity many times. But not in recent times. I am exhausted of being exhausted, and I’m pretty sure Mrs. Seano is as well. I haven’t had a drink in 24 hours, and I am terrified of physically withdrawing and dying. I feel ok right now, just restless…. I have lurked on this thread for a long time, and have met one of the mags here irl (looking at you WRG), so any advice, support or anything is greatly appreciated. Thanks.

[whyturn]

Ok mags, here’s my story (abridged). I have struggled with ETOH my entire adult life. I’ve had periods of sobriety/ clarity many times. But not in recent times. I am exhausted of being exhausted, and I’m pretty sure Mrs. Seano is as well. I haven’t had a drink in 24 hours, and I am terrified of physically withdrawing and dying. I feel ok right now, just restless…. I have lurked on this thread for a long time, and have met one of the mags here irl (looking at you WRG), so any advice, support or anything is greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Take a breath Focus on how it feels different and that’s ok

Be patient and it will get easier

Don’t go to the usual places and find new activities

Take a walk or sing or rock out

Anything else is better than drinking just don’t switch to something else that’s bad

One day at a time and take a breath

It’s so much better than drinking and you can focus on the joy

Remember what it’s like when you drink and don’t drink and learn how that feels better

Give it a few weeks and the weirdness will subside and you will settle in

Remember to not go back to familiar drinking places for at least a year

Rinse and repeat

Feel free to pm me for more info

I’ve led chemical recovery and helped a lot of people get sober

You got this!!!!!!


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[byates1]

Ok mags, here’s my story (abridged). I have struggled with ETOH my entire adult life. I’ve had periods of sobriety/ clarity many times. But not in recent times. I am exhausted of being exhausted, and I’m pretty sure Mrs. Seano is as well. I haven’t had a drink in 24 hours, and I am terrified of physically withdrawing and dying. I feel ok right now, just restless…. I have lurked on this thread for a long time, and have met one of the mags here irl (looking at you WRG), so any advice, support or anything is greatly appreciated. Thanks.

I'm 3 yrs this Saturday. If I can do it you can do it dude. I am at such a good place. Completely clear and quiet. You'll get to this place.

I'm an AA fan. Tried for yrs alone. I'm not fighting alone. I've got an army now. I rest easy. Most people will not get the quiet alone. We are here.

[seano732]

Take a breath Focus on how it feels different and that’s ok

Be patient and it will get easier

Don’t go to the usual places and find new activities

Take a walk or sing or rock out

Anything else is better than drinking just don’t switch to something else that’s bad

One day at a time and take a breath

It’s so much better than drinking and you can focus on the joy

Remember what it’s like when you drink and don’t drink and learn how that feels better

Give it a few weeks and the weirdness will subside and you will settle in

Remember to not go back to familiar drinking places for at least a year

Rinse and repeat

Feel free to pm me for more info

I’ve led chemical recovery and helped a lot of people get sober

You got this!!!!!!


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Thank you so much. Pm incoming.

[seano732]

I'm 3 yrs this Saturday. If I can do it you can do it dude. I am at such a good place. Completely clear and quiet. You'll get to this place.

I'm an AA fan. Tried for yrs alone. I'm not fighting alone. I've got an army now. I rest easy. Most people will not get the quiet alone. We are here.

Do you have time to PM me? I appreciate you.

[byates1]

Absolutely

[yeahman]

Sending positive vibes seano.

[Harry]

and have met one of the mags here irl (looking at you WRG)

Photo of that meeting. Good times.





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[seano732]

Photo of that meeting. Good times.





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Absolutely. Thanks Harry.

[TBS]

I'm 3 yrs this Saturday. If I can do it you can do it dude. I am at such a good place. Completely clear and quiet. You'll get to this place.

Congrats on the milestone!

[byates1]

Thx in advance mister!

[byates1]

Another lap around the sun for this old pile. Big ups to WRG!

[Whiteroom_Guardian]

Seano good of you to reach out for help. Glad you linked up with byates. I'm currently at my brother's wedding but feel free to hit me up whenever. My digits are in one of the links in my signature. We're here to help. Don't fuck around detoxing on your own if you were drinking as hard as I was. At least go to urgent care or the ER. Withdrawal nearly killed me. We want you to stick around!

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[seano732]

Seano good of you to reach out for help. Glad you linked up with byates. I'm currently at my brother's wedding but feel free to hit me up whenever. My digits are in one of the links in my signature. We're here to help. Don't fuck around detoxing on your own if you were drinking as hard as I was. At least go to urgent care or the ER. Withdrawal nearly killed me. We want you to stick around!

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Thanks man. On day four, so far so good just wicked insomnia. Thing two is in nursing school and is keeping track of my vitals, temp etc. Had a really long talk with byates earlier today, which was awesome. Enjoy the wedding, I will hit you up for sure. I plan on sticking around, you owe me a Jenga rematch….Thanks again.

[gaijin]

Don't fuck around detoxing on your own if you were drinking as hard as I was.

And, how hard was that? I think that’s a key point readers are always looking for.

[Whiteroom_Guardian]

And, how hard was that? I think that’s a key point readers are always looking for.

I wasn't like a falling down drunk, but in early 2010 kinda full time ski bumming it was beers all day and some hard booze at night. Maybe 20-25 drinks a day. Just steady intake. Really not that crazy compared to people drinking vodka round the clock.

Decided to dry out a couple days. Shakes, hallucinations, seizure. That was the end of my drinking career really. Thought I was dying when I had that seizure. Pretty fucked. Tried to drink a couple more times and and just couldn't do it anymore. Just instant panic attacks from like 2 beers after that. I swear something clicked in my body and it was trying to tell me, "Hey shithead....stop poisoning me you fucking dummie." One of the best things that ever happened to me.

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