Sobriety, V2.

[detrusor]

When I quit I was surprised at how everything on my life had alcohol along for the ride. Shower, cold beer a and a bong rip. Lunch/dinner cocktails. Studying…drink in hand. Beer in one bottle cage on a bike ride…everything.

Changing friend circles was an absolute.


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[SumJongGuy]

Hey guys - just thought I would chime in here. I've never had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, but I have felt like I drank more than I would have liked (roughly 5-10 drinks a week on average, not that that matters), but I did drink with extreme regularity - lately that's been having a drink with dinner 4 or so nights a week, and then often two drinks a day on weekends.

Anyway. Sorry if this isn't welcome here - not trying to invade a space designed for people who have a VERY different set of challenges - but I've been alcohol free for the past 8 days, largely due to my marriage crisis (you can watch my self destruction in the Tammy Wynette thread if you want some internet voyeurism). I'm embarrassed to say this, but that's been the longest I've been without a drink in probably 7 years. I have no intention of drinking in the short term; at least not while I'm in crisis, and I am surprised at how great I feel without alcohol. Even without drinking that much - not drinking is a remarkable improvement on my overall health and well-being.

Alcohol amplifies emotions.. and gives courage to say and do things you might not do sober. That's often good for social situations when you're otherwise shy and introverted. This is why so many people drink in social settings.

That's bad if you're in a sketchy place emotionally though. Best to lay off where you seem to be right now.

[riser4]

After a little over 500 days, daughter fell off the wagon 3 weeks ago. One drink and instantly to the bottom again. Just saw her doc, and was scored 5 points away from being admitted to the ICU for a detox. Refused inpatient treatment.

FML

+++Vibes+++

[jmedslc]

Phew man you said it. coming up on 10mos off the booze and I got a lotta shit I’d like to say to people. Someday I’m gonna drink a few beers and a bottle of tequila and tell the whole wide world how I feel about them!!

[byates1]

After a little over 500 days, daughter fell off the wagon 3 weeks ago. One drink and instantly to the bottom again. Just saw her doc, and was scored 5 points away from being admitted to the ICU for a detox. Refused inpatient treatment.

FML

Rough news. Sorry to hear. Hopefully she'll realize it feels way better to be clear, calm and sober than wasted and feeling like shit all the time.

Best of luck!

[Whiteroom_Guardian]

Good luck TNKen. Hopefully she figures it out and although a move can be healthy a move will only matter if she is in a good place BEFORE the move. Moving away thinking, "I'll sober up when I get away from all these drunks" rarely ever actually works. "Wherever you go, there you are...."

Yes some towns are more drink focused, but even in dry counties many (most?) people are getting shitfaced in their free time. Gotta find the people who aren't doing that.

If she is planning to move a good criteria for the new town/state should be how many meetings they have and the vibe of meetings. I moved when I had 6 or 7 years sober and when visiting places I checked out all the meetings in the area. I got hooked up with the recovery people here like 3 months before I even moved.

[TNKen]

Yep, closest meeting is about 45 minutes away. Not a 20's crowd, and she is not comfortable going (or using this as an excuse not to go).

Yesterday afternoon was better. DT's in control. Off to Asheville with wife and twin sister (the PA) shopping today.

Hopefully the clock resets today and the journey begins again. She is a good kid.

Twins on a bluebird day.

[SkiBall]

Phew man you said it. coming up on 10mos off the booze and I got a lotta shit I’d like to say to people. Someday I’m gonna drink a few beers and a bottle of tequila and tell the whole wide world how I feel about them!!

We call that “drinking poison in hopes that the other person dies”.
One day, hopefully you will not find the need for this. But generally, the feeling is only muted but that is a win.

[irul&ublo]

Phew man you said it. coming up on 10mos off the booze and I got a lotta shit I’d like to say to people. Someday I’m gonna drink a few beers and a bottle of tequila and tell the whole wide world how I feel about them!!

Save it for Festivus.

[Whiteroom_Guardian]

I celebrate 11 years today! If I can do it you can too!

Continuing to wish your daughter well TNKen. I used to drive over an hour each way to meetings for several years of my sobriety. The local meetings to me were very tiny and not very good......not terrible, but not good either. Unfortunately your daughter just has to be totally ready and then the age group/demographics of the meetings won't matter so much or she will put in the effort to make the drive to meetings she does like.

[SumJongGuy]

I celebrate 11 years today! If I can do it you can too!

Continuing to wish your daughter well TNKen. I used to drive over an hour each way to meetings for several years of my sobriety. The local meetings to me were very tiny and not very good......not terrible, but not good either. Unfortunately your daughter just has to be totally ready and then the age group/demographics of the meetings won't matter so much or she will put in the effort to make the drive to meetings she does like.

Congrats WRG!!!

I gave my sponsor a 36 year chip last night. He still has very bad days just like the rest of us.. but managed to not pick up for a few days at a time ;-)

[tgapp]

I celebrate 11 years today! If I can do it you can too!

Continuing to wish your daughter well TNKen. I used to drive over an hour each way to meetings for several years of my sobriety. The local meetings to me were very tiny and not very good......not terrible, but not good either. Unfortunately your daughter just has to be totally ready and then the age group/demographics of the meetings won't matter so much or she will put in the effort to make the drive to meetings she does like.

Damn WRG, really well done! Good for you.

I've got 18 days today, which is about 6 times longer than my next longest previous break over the last 8 years. I fully recognize that my relationship to alcohol was not nearly as destructive as so many other people's, but I also believe that alcohol use disorder is a spectrum, and that alcohol lies to you and deceives you into thinking that it's not a problem when it either is, or has the potential to become one.

I'm not sure I want to be sober for the rest of my life. Maybe I do. But for now, I'm taking it one day at a time, and I'm pretty stoked on not having a drink every night.

[TNKen]

I celebrate 11 years today! If I can do it you can too!

Continuing to wish your daughter well TNKen. I used to drive over an hour each way to meetings for several years of my sobriety. The local meetings to me were very tiny and not very good......not terrible, but not good either. Unfortunately your daughter just has to be totally ready and then the age group/demographics of the meetings won't matter so much or she will put in the effort to make the drive to meetings she does like.

Thank you. Restart #3. Seems to be doing better this round, both mentally and physically.

[MTT]

Congratulations Whiteroom Gaurdian

That is a big deal. The group I’m with I hear from people who fell down after a year five years longer

It’s just a reminder to me that this is forever long haul stuff

And a reminder to remember. Why am I here? Why are any of them at a meeting talking about the same things

There’s a reason. I’m doing great of late. But seeing that I’ll never be fixed. Something I will have to deal with forever

[abraham]

I celebrate 11 years today! If I can do it you can too!

Continuing to wish your daughter well TNKen. I used to drive over an hour each way to meetings for several years of my sobriety. The local meetings to me were very tiny and not very good......not terrible, but not good either. Unfortunately your daughter just has to be totally ready and then the age group/demographics of the meetings won't matter so much or she will put in the effort to make the drive to meetings she does like.

Dude, as someone who was around longer than that 11 years, good job! Seriously, very impressive.

Good luck with your daughter Ken.

[detrusor]

Congrats WRG…that’s huge


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[liv2ski]

For those that can't get a handle on their buzz of choice, my heartfelt condolences. I had a funny conversation with my Dr. at the annual check up. "How many drinks do you average a day"? "Maybe 4, sometimes more". Dr. Seriously? A couple of beers during the day and 2 glasses of wine at night just keeps me tranquil, not sloppy drunk. Anyways, I am told I have to seriously curtail my drinking, so I responded; "fine, I will stop for 30 days, once done with that you can write my a script for Valium or I will be back to drinking". Should I of requested something else to keep my chill on? Not a big THC user.

[MTT]

Why am I typing this

Been fighting the good fight

Tonight could turn into a negative night

[SoVT Joey]

For those that can't get a handle on their buzz of choice, my heartfelt condolences. I had a funny conversation with my Dr. at the annual check up. "How many drinks do you average a day"? "Maybe 4, sometimes more". Dr. Seriously? A couple of beers during the day and 2 glasses of wine at night just keeps me tranquil, not sloppy drunk. Anyways, I am told I have to seriously curtail my drinking, so I responded; "fine, I will stop for 30 days, once done with that you can write my a script for Valium or I will be back to drinking". Should I of requested something else to keep my chill on? Not a big THC user.

No, you should grow the fuck up and stop trying to manipulate a doctor into giving you something you don’t need. That’s the number one sign of an addict that isn’t willing to change shit. How about you quit drinking, and learn how to manage your life. That’s not a funny conversation, it’s a sad one.

And MTT, keep fighting. We don’t control the world, we control ourselves. Tomorrow is a better day to have a drink.

[jmedslc]

Over 10 months on the no booze train and almost blew it last night. Glad I was able to stave off the urges and not stop at my formerly favorite spot on my trip down to town. Monkey mind is a crazy thing.

[SumJongGuy]

For those that can't get a handle on their buzz of choice, my heartfelt condolences. I had a funny conversation with my Dr. at the annual check up. "How many drinks do you average a day"? "Maybe 4, sometimes more". Dr. Seriously? A couple of beers during the day and 2 glasses of wine at night just keeps me tranquil, not sloppy drunk. Anyways, I am told I have to seriously curtail my drinking, so I responded; "fine, I will stop for 30 days, once done with that you can write my a script for Valium or I will be back to drinking". Should I of requested something else to keep my chill on? Not a big THC user.

AA rooms are full of people who were "functional" alcoholics.. Never lost a job, never got a DWI, never had a problem paying their bills on time, ... ..YET. You don't have to be homeless under a bridge to hit bottom. Mine was a physical bottom. Guts fucked up and about to die from too much alcohol. daily drinker but only AFTER work.. never right before or during..

Your doc is warning you that you are headed for that physical bottom, obviously you're not there yet though..

Not being shitfaced every time doesn't mean no problem.. I suggest you try this to see how your relationship with alcohol is.. Set your limits at 2 and a HALF drinks instead of 2 or 3.. and pour that last drink/open that last can of beer as a full drink.. See how easy or difficult it is to only drink half of that last one, pouring it out instead of finishing it.. or just leave it sitting on the table half full all night. Do you keep thinking about finishing it, or can you truly just forget about it like it's not even there?

[skiskiskiskiski]

No, you should grow the fuck up and stop trying to manipulate a doctor into giving you something you don’t need. That’s the number one sign of an addict that isn’t willing to change shit. How about you quit drinking, and learn how to manage your life. That’s not a funny conversation, it’s a sad one.

And MTT, keep fighting. We don’t control the world, we control ourselves. Tomorrow is a better day to have a drink.

+1

[Whiteroom_Guardian]

As I have probably posted in here at least three other times: The functional alcoholic excuse is such a load of crap. Having a job and money really doesn't mean shit when you can't stop getting loaded. In the USA that seems to be the only marker of "success" for far too many people.

I have several family members who have more money than they know what to do with who can't stop getting loaded......and they are physically a trainwreck, have destroyed just about every relationship with just about everyone they know, their only "friends" are other alcoholics, emotionally they are children, they can't get through the week without booze and pills, they lie and manipulate constantly, etc etc. But they have a new car/truck, a house, etc etc so they think everything is all gravy.......except when they are sober briefly and the buzz wears off and the depression kicks in and they realize their life is actually fucked up, but instead of making changes they just get loaded again. Day after day after day.

It's all fun and games until everyone else has finally had enough and they are going through diabetes and heart failure 20 years too soon and been divorced 2 or 3 times.

You don't have to wait for it to get that bad, but unfortunately this is the road for MILLIONS of insulated white collar people being kept alive by the health care system and airbags and good lawyers.

[MTT]

^^^That was quite a statement^^^

And I agree
I see all around me and in me
A mass of people trudging through life waisted in varying degrees

Only some lose it to a point where life comes unraveled. Or they are just unlucky and become the focus of?

[jmedslc]

As I have probably posted in here at least three other times: The functional alcoholic excuse is such a load of crap. Having a job and money really doesn't mean shit when you can't stop getting loaded. In the USA that seems to be the only marker of "success" for far too many people.

i definitely fell into that category for many, MANY years - like 30! Now that the fog has cleared, i see society-wide alcoholism more for what it is - keeping people "loaded" so that they spend more money on booze and related things, all the while leaving a path of damage along the way, as their bodies become sicker.

Whenever i'm over someone's place and they've got the TV on, i'm astounded at the encouragement given for consumption of booze. Then, literally everywhere i go, I'm blasted with adverts and offers for booze and people think nothing of it. I realized that many of my friendships and other activities were focused around booze and that the majority of my friend circle are raging, functioning alcoholics! I didn't really see this before, but for whatever reason, it's clear as day to me now.

Anyway, shouts out to all the supporters of sobriety in this thread. I appreciate the conversation, life lessons and just the overall well being i'm able to finally experience and it's easier with y'all around.