Sobriety, V2.

[SkiBall]

We met while getting sober. I was done, and his hand was forced in some ways but still seemed to have a light go on. Shit is painful to address, and I still have some baggage to unload. But I feel I got rid of the biggest stones, and am continuing to work on the rest. I think he still carries some big ones. And it just might kill him.
Thanks for words all. Through the work I am able to weather the inevitable storm,

[TNKen]

Round 2. A couple of weeks ago, daughter went on a bender and ended up in the hospital for 5 days. While there, she researched and found a place for treatment. I had pretty much washed my hands at this point. She reached out and asked me to take her two hours away to a detox facility.

Helped her get out of the hospital, get her things together, and dropped her off at the facility. 10 days of detox to get her off alcohol, weed, prescription meds given to her by her online psychiatrist. Off to a rehab facility for the next 45 days. Got to see her last weekend, and she seems to be doing well. Still manipulative as hell, but at least has a job, a place to live, and a plan on how to move forward sober.

We will see.

[SumJongGuy]

Round 2. A couple of weeks ago, daughter went on a bender and ended up in the hospital for 5 days. While there, she researched and found a place for treatment. I had pretty much washed my hands at this point. She reached out and asked me to take her two hours away to a detox facility.

Helped her get out of the hospital, get her things together, and dropped her off at the facility. 10 days of detox to get her off alcohol, weed, prescription meds given to her by her online psychiatrist. Off to a rehab facility for the next 45 days. Got to see her last weekend, and she seems to be doing well. Still manipulative as hell, but at least has a job, a place to live, and a plan on how to move forward sober.

We will see.

This is good news.. It's a forever program. I've been really lucky so far. Both my kids are ticking time bombs simply due to genetics. at 19 and 20 neither one is doing anything near as crazy as I was doing at their age. ADHD stuff via prescription but neither one likes alcohol or weed. yet..

[byates1]

Hope it goes well tnken.

[rideit]

Thanks for sharing, TNK.

In all serious, if you are feeling squirrelly, listen to some Jason Isbell, very loud.

[Whiteroom_Guardian]

Round 2. A couple of weeks ago, daughter went on a bender and ended up in the hospital for 5 days. While there, she researched and found a place for treatment. I had pretty much washed my hands at this point. She reached out and asked me to take her two hours away to a detox facility.

Helped her get out of the hospital, get her things together, and dropped her off at the facility. 10 days of detox to get her off alcohol, weed, prescription meds given to her by her online psychiatrist. Off to a rehab facility for the next 45 days. Got to see her last weekend, and she seems to be doing well. Still manipulative as hell, but at least has a job, a place to live, and a plan on how to move forward sober.

We will see.

Thanks for sharing. I assume you've looked into Al-Anon? At the very least maybe do some listening to some Al Anon speaker tapes on youtube or https://www.xa-speakers.org/. You gotta take care of yourself. It's always good to have hope, but it also sounds like you had come to a place of detachment prior to this last bender which is good.

The cold reality is that most real alcoholics/addicts don't get sober ever. My sister is 42 years old, been to rehab 5 of 6 times, all kinds of trouble with the law over the years (that she has mostly skated through), somewhat recent complete delusional episodes with total detachment from reality, 3 young kids, nasty divorce, no career anymore etc etc. Been going on for about 20-25 years.

My good friend (and sponsor) is going through it now with his 21 year old daughter. She is in CA in a special halfway house for single mother addicts. He now has a grandson that he didn't want but can't help but to love. Strange journey.

I can't imaging what you are going through because I'm not a parent. Just know that you gotta take care of you. I think you have that figured out already but it's worth the reminder.

[SumJongGuy]

^^^^Excellent post and sound advice^^^^^^^^^^

[TNKen]

Thanks Whiteroom. Yeah, gotta find an Al-Anon class; I think there is one at our church. Morgan has pretty much stepped on everyone in the family. Her twin sister the PA still tries, the rest of us have pretty much thrown up our hands.

I have several friends that have been sober for 30 plus years, but they are the exception.

One of our family friends was a gunship pilot in Vietnam. She has reached out to him to be her sponsor this time and he has offered to help her multiple times. Great guy. Head screwed on real tight. Has plans for 100 classes in 100 days.

The restaurant where she is going to work is owned by family friends, and alcohol free. One of the owners is in recovery, excited she is coming, and has a huge network which will be available to her.

Somewhat hopeful....

[riser4]

Interesting concept, Alcohol free restaurant? Meaning what exactly? And man, what a rollercoaster ride.

[SumJongGuy]

July 29th, 1999 was the start of my current sobriety. 24 years today. I had convulsions the first night. I was home alone. Out of body death experience. First 30 days was the hardest part, not being able to sleep much at all. Since then many bad days, lost a child, periods of being out of work wondering how long before mortgage falls behind, but all one day at a time sober.

All anyone needs is today. I might drink tomorrow, but not today motherfuckers..

[byates1]

You're an old timer. Nice work mister.

[Whiteroom_Guardian]

July 29th, 1999 was the start of my current sobriety. 24 years today. I had convulsions the first night. I was home alone. Out of body death experience. First 30 days was the hardest part, not being able to sleep much at all. Since then many bad days, lost a child, periods of being out of work wondering how long before mortgage falls behind, but all one day at a time sober.

All anyone needs is today. I might drink tomorrow, but not today motherfuckers..

Solid fucking work and proof of the fact that life happens and we don't need to drink over it.

[~mikey b]

FKNA

[SkiBall]

We met while getting sober. I was done, and his hand was forced in some ways but still seemed to have a light go on. Shit is painful to address, and I still have some baggage to unload. But I feel I got rid of the biggest stones, and am continuing to work on the rest. I think he still carries some big ones. And it just might kill him.
Thanks for words all. Through the work I am able to weather the inevitable storm,

Good to hear peeps finding the path. My friend above found the path, and lost it never to return. He passed a month ago. Getting sober is fairly easy. I did it a number of times. Staying sober is the harder work, and where the gift is found.

[SumJongGuy]

^^^ Yes, I had reconnected with an old friend from high school.. solid heavy drinking buddy.. He had 5 years and I noticed things were not going well all of a sudden. I asked him.. He said "I guess sobriety's just not for me". He was dead within a year :-(

Thanks maggots.. I will carry on carrying on best I can and if all goes well pick up a chip at my homegroup Wednesday. Best t all in and out currently. If you're pout this way HMU and I'll catch a meeting with you. while you're here.

[Foggy_Goggles]

Heavy shit ya'll. Ask for help when you could use it, offer it as much as you can.

[frorider]

70% of individuals struggling with alcoholism will relapse at some point, however, relapse rates decline the longer someone stays sober.

The percentage of alcoholics who recover and stay sober is about 35.9 percent, or about one-third, according to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.

This seem about right?

[skiJ]

July 29th, 1999 was the start of my current sobriety. 24 years today. I had convulsions the first night. I was home alone. Out of body death experience. First 30 days was the hardest part, not being able to sleep much at all. Since then many bad days, lost a child, periods of being out of work wondering how long before mortgage falls behind, but all one day at a time sober.

All anyone needs is today. I might drink tomorrow, but not today motherfuckers..

Solid fucking work and proof of the fact that life happens and we don't need to drink over it.

attaBoy, SJG.

what WRG said. +1


skiJ

[bogusbill]

Congrats SJG

[~mikey b]

Congrats SJG

fkna

[Whiteroom_Guardian]

^^^ Yes, I had reconnected with an old friend from high school.. solid heavy drinking buddy.. He had 5 years and I noticed things were not going well all of a sudden. I asked him.. He said "I guess sobriety's just not for me". He was dead within a year :-(

Thanks maggots.. I will carry on carrying on best I can and if all goes well pick up a chip at my homegroup Wednesday. Best t all in and out currently. If you're pout this way HMU and I'll catch a meeting with you. while you're here.

Cunning, baffling, powerful.

Good friend of mine also with 5 years recently decided that going to one meeting per week and meeting with his sponsor once a week was just too much of a commitment. So he's isolating in a FREE "cabin" aka his uncles guesthouse at a 10 million dollar ranch 20 minutes from town. He was a junkie before all this and hopefully doesn't become one again.

Somehow being happy joyous and free and 2 hours per week is too much for him? Fucking pisses me off. He is doing really well thus far and hopefully he's right and I'm wrong......but if I hear he's dead sometime soon I won't be surprised.

[SumJongGuy]

Cunning, baffling, powerful.

Good friend of mine also with 5 years recently decided that going to one meeting per week and meeting with his sponsor once a week was just too much of a commitment. So he's isolating in a FREE "cabin" aka his uncles guesthouse at a 10 million dollar ranch 20 minutes from town. He was a junkie before all this and hopefully doesn't become one again.

Somehow being happy joyous and free and 2 hours per week is too much for him? Fucking pisses me off. He is doing really well thus far and hopefully he's right and I'm wrong......but if I hear he's dead sometime soon I won't be surprised.

I once heard an old timer speaker say relapse is working the steps in reverse.. starting wtih stopping step 12.. going to meetings and trying to help other alcoholics.. then not praying for direction of how to do God's will, then not continuing to take inventory....

[~mikey b]

https://camdenhealth.org/wp-content/...n_Atlantic.pdf

[SumJongGuy]

https://camdenhealth.org/wp-content/...n_Atlantic.pdf

deleted word salad rambling.. I'm not confident they define the AA sample group and data the way most old timers would..

Hell, my sponsor's got 35 and still doesn't believe in any higher power besides the group slightly ahead of himself. No doubt his sobriety would have been counted as the NON AA group.

[SumJongGuy]

Short version of that word salad.. All AA really amounts to is a place to meet and hang out with other people trying to get and stay sober.. Only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. The steps are SUGGESTED as a program of recovery. Nothing is required. If it ain't working, try something else, another sponsor/group/etc.. It's not really anything else anyone can formally define and capture statistically.. But it's still the best place to find other people who have managed to stop drinking for long periods of time.