How many 5yo children could you take on in a fight?

[Free Range Lobster]

Question: How many five year-old children of equal male:female distribution could you take on in a fight before they would overwhelm you?

The Rules and Stipulations:

* The
fight will take place in a well-lit, empty room whose size will be
proportional to the number of assumed children, such that when the
children are standing at their preferred personal distance from one
another, the total area of the room's floor will be double that which
they collectively occupy
* You will receive no self-defense
training beyond that which you already know, but the children will all
have four hours' worth of training beforehand on how to take down an
adult; whether they choose to pay attention to this training or not is
up to them
* Neither you nor the children will have any material weapons provided, and all participants will be barefoot
* The
children will all be representative of the average five year-old in all
areas, e.g., intellect, height, weight, fear response, and strength
* When
a child is knocked or otherwise rendered unconscious, that child is
"out" and will not get back up at any point later in the challenge; the
same "out" rule applies to any child who is killed
* The challenge ends when you have been rendered unconscious or dead, or when all of the children in the room are "out"

[iceman]

I'd say about 40 or so.

[Grange]

Did you challenge the neighbors kid to a fight?

I think a good strategy would be to take out one kid and then use his or her body as a weapon. Hell, the kid can't weigh more than 40 lbs. so I would thing you would not have a hard time swinging the body around. This would also add to the fear factor.

[Tippster]

15-20, but I'm a card-carrying wuss.

[VTskibum]

30, given they are unorganized.

Organized maybe 15.

[runethechamp]

Hell, the kid can't weigh more than 40 lbs. so I would thing you would not have a hard time swinging the body around.

My 4-year old weighs in at a solid 45 lbs... [/proud]

[Camilo]

I think about 23, but only 7 monkeys. It only takes a few monkeys to kick the shit out of me. It really pisses me off

[awf170]

i dunno in the training they might tell the kids to punch you in the balls... in that case i dont think it would be to many

[Below Zero]

i dunno in the training they might tell the kids to punch you in the balls... in that case i dont think it would be to many

I would advise to take your shirt off and shove it in your pants. I think they would be all too scared and would just start to panic.

[A-wreck]

I would simply drop into a three point stance and take out as many at one time as I could. The use of a five year old's body as a weapon is a great idea too. That said, I'll say 40 ish.

[Steven S. Dallas]

I think a good strategy would be to take out one kid and then use his or her body as a weapon.

You are a sick, sick man. I know, because I thought the exact same thing.

If the children are representative of the average 5 yo in their fear response, you would only have to kill one in a really gruesome fashion and then the rest of them wouldn't even think about fighting you. So I'll say 10,000, assuming we were in some sort of arena where they would all get a good view.

[truth]

All of them.

[Clack]

You are a sick, sick man. I know, because I thought the exact same thing.

If the children are representative of the average 5 yo in their fear response, you would only have to kill one in a really gruesome fashion and then the rest of them wouldn't even think about fighting you. So I'll say 10,000, assuming we were in some sort of arena where they would all get a good view.

My thoughts exactly. Take one's head off and throw it dodgeball style at any given kid and they'll all stand down.

[bad_roo]

Are you allowed to stamp on 'em?

[Oarhead]

Are you allowed to stamp on 'em?

Nothing against stamping in the rules.

Stamp away.

Shirt in the pants is a good one, that way they have less to grab on to and the nuts are ok. just like hockey fights. I would say I could take a couple of bakers dozen fer sure.

That four hours of training is a long time when you think about it though.

[cmsummit]

Whether or not I have a cup on would make a huge difference. I mean, if I have the family jewels well protected down there, I could probably take on 20-30 I'm thinking. But if I'm vulnerable in taking shots to the nuts, I may only last for a few. It only takes one, well placed kick and I'm down for the count...

[PaSucks]

Whether or not I have a cup on would make a huge difference. I mean, if I have the family jewels well protected down there, I could probably take on 20-30 I'm thinking. But if I'm vulnerable in taking shots to the nuts, I may only last for a few. It only takes one, well placed kick and I'm down for the count...

I don't think many five year olds could kick as high as the average dudes nuts, but I could be wrong. That being said, they could certainly punch a dudes nuts, so I think a cup should be worn. I'm thinking I could take out at least 40, if not more. I don't think their defense would stop me, just my exhaustion. As their bodies pile up, you could use them as a protective wall, or even a fort, to keep the other five year olds from getting to you.

[DJSapp]

hmmmm, 6'3", 225#

Well, seeing as at most only seven or eight 5 year olds could attack at once due to physical constraints, and I could probably engage 3 at once (single strike knockout) I believe I could fend them off until exhaustion, provided I have a cup. No cup=short fight.

400+, unless I build a fort of dead bodies to rest in, or perhaps a mountain to sit on top of and meditate.

[Below Zero]

As their bodies pile up, you could use them as a protective wall, or even a fort, to keep the other five year olds from getting to you.

LOL! Almost spit up my morning coffee!

[Big E]

We've had a lot of strange discussions over the years. I'm not saying this one is the strangest, but it's got to be up there.

4 hours training, that's a lot. They've got to be pretty vicious, though, to render you dead or unconscious. I'm not sure them just ganging up on you would do that.

[XtrPickels]

my sister is 5[\truth]

you are all going to hell [\sarcasm]

[LaramieSkiBum]

4 hours training, that's a lot. They've got to be pretty vicious, though, to render you dead or unconscious. I'm not sure them just ganging up on you would do that.

Have you ever tried to keep a 5 year old focused for 4 hours? We would have to bring whips and chains to keep them on track, which would make them meaner I suppose.

If i was teaching them priorities would go like so:

1) If your close to him/her punch them in the nuts as many times and as fast and hard as you can

2) If your behind, reach around a leg and hold on with all your might

3) If there is no room on a leg, grab the nuts

4) If you can't get close enough to get ahold of something, spit and throw clothing - aiming for the face

5) If you ever get him/her on the ground, everyone must immediately start jumping up and down on them

6) If there isn't any room to jump up and down, take off your pants and wrap it around his her / neck and as a group try and strangle him/her

7) If there isn't any room to strangle, proceed to kick the kidneys or another part of the body you can reach

Do the 5 year olds get belts? We need clearer boundries to solve this problem.