How to deal with psycho bitches?

**jonesy** · 08-02-2005, 04:21 PM

Originally Posted by Superstar Punani

Disclaimer: Not referring to any chick I've banged

A psycho bitch moved into my apt block and lives downstairs from me. She is a fucking tool and calls the cops for any noise after 10pm....she yells at me for "noisily" hauling my bike down the stairs at noon since I was disturbing her beauty sleep (which she needs a lot of). She regularly calls cops on any parties happening in the apt block and adjacent apt blocks for the sake of being a bitch (and presumably because she needs all the beauty sleep she can get).

So last night psycho bitch parks in front of the automatic garage door. This morning I hit the garage door opener, not knowing what's out there, it hits the front of her piece of shit car (no damage), and then she's screaming saying that I'll pay for damages and that she'll key my car and slash the tires and shit.

So I give her a taste of her own medicine and give her the Pound Key treatment, but I'm now worried for my car's welfare.

How do you deal with such psycho bitches? I do have her cell phone number for pranks and other shit.

You need to start fucking her. That was easy.

**truth** · 08-02-2005, 04:23 PM

Originally Posted by fridge

I like Irul's idea, but here's a different suggestion:

Smash her face into a car window, then take her mother out for a nice steak dinner and never call her again.

Heh...just saw that flick a few minutes ago.

**girlski0912** · 08-02-2005, 04:35 PM

Something about Irul's suggestion reminds me of that scene out of Kingpin where he fucks his landlord to get her off of his case. If you're gonna do it, atleast put a bag over her head first...or yeah, go through the back door and shut your eyes REAL tight....but be careful because the crazies hate being dismissed as much as normal girls and this could incite more violence.

**irul&ublo** · 08-02-2005, 05:28 PM

Kingpin.

**girlski0912** · 08-02-2005, 08:10 PM

Originally Posted by irul&ublo

Kingpin.

The soundbite alone is enough to kick the ole gag reflex into effect...

**lemon boy** · 08-03-2005, 09:13 AM

I definitely think that out wierding the wierdo is the only plan likely to acheive long term success. Don't forget to buy a very large bologna roll at the deli to stuff in your pants.

otherwise, learning your noise ordinances and getting a pocket recorder to tape these and other informative encounters is totally the way to go. Even better, I'd keep it with you and roll audio during any traffic stop. Getting management and documentation on your side can only be a good thing.

Q: Is this one whiney-er or not than your girlfriend?

while fun, do roll audio on any outwierdoness b/c it'd really suck to get tagged as a sex offender

**Zeedashbo** · 08-03-2005, 09:57 AM

she just wants a piece of the punani. feed her some cheese and crackers and slam some bones.

**frozenwater** · 08-03-2005, 10:08 AM

Oh man, absofuckinglutely go with busters plan. She won' t know what the hell is happening and will likely just want to stay out of your way.

**GrandmaDeath** · 08-03-2005, 10:35 AM

slit the bitches throat then heat to s. america

**Pinner** · 08-03-2005, 10:41 AM

Originally Posted by GrandmaDeath

slit the bitches throat then heat to s. america

I was having fun posting here at TGR yesterday and even today kinda, but I think I'll take a hiatus until cuntmouth here gets bored with jerking himself off in a pool of his own feces and decides to split. Bye!

**GrandmaDeath** · 08-03-2005, 10:52 AM

be the ball dick licker

**DJSapp** · 08-03-2005, 11:26 AM

Originally Posted by Pinner

I was having fun posting here at TGR yesterday and even today kinda, but I think I'll take a hiatus until cuntmouth here gets bored with jerking himself off in a pool of his own feces and decides to split. Bye!

Add user to ignore list mang. Makes the board much nicer when you can't see the shit.

**The AD** · 08-03-2005, 11:40 AM

Originally Posted by 50kLeg

So the noise complaints sound like our neighbors at my condo complex.

This reminds me of a funny story on Howard Stern last week. Howard was talking about many years ago he had loud annoying neighbors in a townhouse. So this reminded Artie of a friend of his with a similar problem. To get back at the annoying neighbors this guy set up a tape machine on a continuous loop so that it played that "do do do doo do" part in the CSN song "Suite: Judy Blue Eyes" and then went on vacation for two weeks. When the guy back home his door was bashed in because the neighbors couldn't take it after three days and called the police!

**skibum87** · 08-03-2005, 11:57 AM

Originally Posted by The AD

This reminds me of a funny story on Howard Stern last week. Howard was talking about many years ago he had loud annoying neighbors in a townhouse. So this reminded Artie of a friend of his with a similar problem. To get back at the annoying neighbors this guy set up a tape machine on a continuous loop so that it played that "do do do doo do" part in the CSN song "Suite: Judy Blue Eyes" and then went on vacation for two weeks. When the guy back home his door was bashed in because the neighbors couldn't take it after three days and called the police!

haha! thats a good idea

If i were u i would just be the most annoying person ever and always be playing music hella loud until she cant take it anymore and she moves.

btw...if she parked to close to the garage...and u opened it...how is that ur fault????

**Free Range Lobster** · 08-03-2005, 12:03 PM

battle of attrition.
keep her calling the cops and monitor when she does so they'll think she's a wacko and threaten to arrest her for calling them over and over.

**Core Shot** · 08-03-2005, 12:19 PM

Originally Posted by Pinner

I was having fun posting here at TGR yesterday and even today kinda, but I think I'll take a hiatus until cuntmouth here gets bored with jerking himself off in a pool of his own feces and decides to split. Bye!

Hmmm, is it just another alias? or a disgruntled AlpineZone counter-attack?

**HyRUPz** · 08-03-2005, 03:15 PM

Tell her that the dynamic of capitalism is postponement of enjoyment to the constantly postponed future ... then shit on her hood.

**Sublime** · 08-03-2005, 05:23 PM

Take a big steaming dump on her doorstep

Leave a sign in it that says Love SuPu Kisses

Extra points for pictures.

**Nobody Famous** · 08-04-2005, 06:26 PM

Anything you do that is illegal... or uncivil ... is just going to get you in trouble if any of her calls to the cops turns into anything.

So get the cops working with you/for you, call up the community policing officer, get an appointment, go into their office, explain what's going on, and ask then what the hell they can do. Better yet, go to the cops with some neighbors, and you'll then have bested her at her own game.

**Grange** · 08-04-2005, 07:25 PM

Start selling crack out of your house. When she sees crack whores constantly knocking of the door she will probably move.

**Pinner** · 08-04-2005, 07:42 PM

...to the front of the line.

**mattitude** · 08-04-2005, 07:55 PM

You need this CD:

http://secure.gadgets.co.uk/revenge-...-earplugs.html

Quoted form the site:

Neighbours driving you nuts?

Do the girls next door play their music too loud, does the guy upstairs have noisy floorboards, or has the new family in the street lowered the tone of your neighbourhood by installing horrendous cladding?

Give them a taste of their own medicine with any one of these 20 ear-splitting sound effect tracks:

1) Drill
2) Party (At Least 200 People)
3) Orgasm (Outstanding)
4) Train
5) Drum (Played by a Child)
6) Inhuman Screams
7) Walking (High Heels)
8) Domestic Squabble
9) Doors Banging
10) Bowling

11) Unhappy Dog
12) Practicing Scales (Violin)
13) Traffic Jam
14) Garbage Truck
15) Newborn
16) Phone Ringing
17) Ball Game
18) Pigeons
19) Spring Cleaning
20) Cock-a-Doodle-Do!

Choose your favourite track from this hilarious CD, turn up the volume, and sit back (or go out for half an hour) and reap sweet revenge.

Earplugs supplied for your sanity and protection.