Older parents-WWYD?

[gravitylover]

Unrelated but yesterday we had 3.2" of rain and this morning when we went downstairs to go out the basement is a half inch deep I just wanna go find a huge meadow, stand there and scream my bloody head off until I can't scream anymore.

[riser4]

Scream into a pillow? Completely unrelated story tl;dr version: I was waiting in the packed and loaded van in the driveway with the kids about to leave on a family trip and my wife has to make her 14 "one more thing" trips into the house. She came out and caught me screaming full volume into a pillow and the kids laughing their asses off. That last detail saved my ass, she couldn't help but laugh too. I know, there's a thread for that.

[Iowagriz]

Sorry to read that Gravity. Sounds like a shitstorm. I'd be tempted to drop a tip at the local news station.

Sent from my SM-S908U using Tapatalk

[gravitylover]

I've thought about that a few times but until he passes I can't really make too many big waves because there aren't any options to move him to within 50 miles of home, the memory care facilities have waiting lists to get in.

Screaming into a pillow doesn't work

I think I'm gonna finish emptying the basement into the driveway, suck out another 100 gallons with the shop vac then start drinking (heavily).

[KQ]

Unrelated but yesterday we had 3.2" of rain and this morning when we went downstairs to go out the basement is a half inch deep I just wanna go find a huge meadow, stand there and scream my bloody head off until I can't scream anymore.

Fuck man..... that sucks. I'm so sorry for everything your family is going through.

Scream away.....it helps. After that, treat yourself to your favorite meal preferably prepared by someone else. Self care is as important as caring for your loved one.

BTW - Where are you? When my mom was in rehab last month Covid came through the facility and she got it. They immediately notified everyone via email and provided daily updates of case counts and recoveries of patients and staff (some outside staff from other facilities had to be brought in to cover. .

They also provided Paxlov to the patients who wanted it.

They never shut down but required masks for anyone coming in.

[gravitylover]

It's amazing how shit just keeps happening. I'm running out of gogo-juice.

NY. Yeah there's no more rules here, they don't have to require masks because there's a dozen people locked in their rooms now so it "should be ok everywhere else". Again, WTF?!

[mcski]

I can’t believe they are that lax but they prohibit you from visiting. That place suks all around. Screaming Vibes

[gravitylover]

It's up to 28 residents with Covid, they have the place locked down with everyone confined to their rooms. We've become friendly with some of the other family members that are there a lot too and they let one in today. Apparently it's a bunch of people screaming for help behind the closed doors because they only get checked on about once an hour These people have no idea what's going on normally, this has to be a total mindfuck. This sux.

[gravitylover]

...and today the morning nurse is an hour late already and the night nurse had to leave to get her kids off to school so nobody is getting their morning meds

[Hopeless Sinner]

...and today the morning nurse is an hour late already and the night nurse had to leave to get her kids off to school so nobody is getting their morning meds

The only thing I can say is that when you look back on it you will not regret one ounce of effort or amount of sacrifice that you've extended.


I honestly wish there was some form of meaningful support to offer. You have my sympathies.

[gravitylover]

Oh, I know but it's just sad that this is the state of eldercare now. They can get staff, they bumped the wages $10/hr for new hires and that didn't do it. I think the reality is that there are so many of these facilities around the northeast now that there's just nobody left that wants these jobs. I get it, traveling nurses that work in hospitals are getting double to as much as 4X what these places pay so why would anybody that's any good want to work with people that have no idea what's going on and can't do a single thing for themselves. I'll be honest, the last time we had him out of there for something other than a hospital visit and he had to pee it was a scene I won't ever repeat. I'd let him pee in his pants before I do what I did that time again.

[fatnslow]

Oh, I know but it's just sad that this is the state of eldercare now. They can get staff, they bumped the wages $10/hr for new hires and that didn't do it. I think the reality is that there are so many of these facilities around the northeast now that there's just nobody left that wants these jobs. I get it, traveling nurses that work in hospitals are getting double to as much as 4X what these places pay so why would anybody that's any good want to work with people that have no idea what's going on and can't do a single thing for themselves. I'll be honest, the last time we had him out of there for something other than a hospital visit and he had to pee it was a scene I won't ever repeat. I'd let him pee in his pants before I do what I did that time again.

Have you looked at home based adult care places ? My uncle was in a place that housed 4 patients in a private residence that ate with the family and interacted with their kids. If I remember right the price was similar to a large institution. He had dementia and the place was within walking distance for my aunt to visit daily. It's a total shit show all over the place due to the fact elderly care is a very low wage/low skill job and unless you have pretty deep pockets the level of service can be marginal at best.

[Meadow Skipper]

I honestly wish there was some form of meaningful support to offer. You have my sympathies.

+1

[gravitylover]

Thanks MS. @fnslow yeah we did, there aren't any small facilities with open spaces anywhere near here 300 miles away is just too far. Deep pockets? $11.5k/month isn't enough...

[XXX-er]

up here in the gov facilities they will take your income if you show income but if you got assets t hey don't touch them and the gov facilities were actualy at least ok, my mom had income but I dunno what they charged for her cuz she was 90 and only lasted 3 months from collapsing in the kitchen and I think it was all in medical facilities

that was in vangroovy, around here there is only " the lodge " so you hear joe is in the lodge which means he has gone into care and then you see the obit

[KQ]

I honestly wish there was some form of meaningful support to offer. You have my sympathies.

+2

[The AD]

NY. Yeah there's no more rules here, they don't have to require masks because there's a dozen people locked in their rooms now so it "should be ok everywhere else". Again, WTF?!

My Dad was in the hospital last month and ended up getting COVID which made it much worse than what he was in to begin with. Of course after getting COVID they put him in isolation, require visitors to suit up, etc. Ended up spending something like 20 days in the hospital all told including time on a vent. Hey, how about some proactive policies instead of all reactive ones?

[gravitylover]

Sorry AD. This whole thing is maddening. My wife joked this afternoon that if we end up fucked up and our kids have to make these decisions for us we're screwed.

And then... This afternoon his doctor prescribed Paclovid, he's been on azithromycin (?) for a few days but he wants him to start this asap. So my wife goes to CVS to pick it up and the pharmacist comes out and says "he can't take this with 2 of the others he's on". One is likely to cause internal bleeding and the other was less severe but still not good. WTF!

This stupid place has decided to only test every other day after having the positives doubled 3 days in a row. WTF!

[The AD]

Good thing the pharmacist was paying attention.

[gravitylover]

This guy is great, he's been on his game for the 20 years we've worked with him.

[riser4]

Dave at Brooks Drugs was da man when my dad was around. At one point he was on 14 different drugs. Dave caught a few mismatches. Brooks got sold to Rite-Aid which got sold to Walgreens. Hopefully Dave retired. Walgreens fucking sucks which is especially sucky because it's within walking distance. I switched pharmacies.

[Flounder]

I’ve got both my parents and in-laws on our cell plan and have them all set up with iPhones to make it easier to manage. We are working to get everyone’s meds set up in Apple health. It flags potential conflicts and seems to lean conservative. The couple of potential conflicts were cleared with a follow up with the doc. Pretty easy to add meds, the scanner works ok. You can even set schedules, reminders, and have them log when taken. 75% success rate so far, my mom’s not a fan.

[gravitylover]

They're up to 31 residents Covid positive today. Next round of testing on Sunday. WTF

[halliday]

Hey, how about some proactive policies instead of all reactive ones? [/QUOTE]

No fucking way. That requires thinking and planning.

[riser4]

They're up to 31 residents Covid positive today. Next round of testing on Sunday. WTF

Unfortunately it's gonna go through the place like a stoner munching a bag of Doritos. If we've learned anything in the last 4 years it's that this shit is highly contagious. Not sure why they can't just realize that everyone will catch it and handle the situation accordingly. I hope your family members get through it as unscathed as possible. Fucking shitty break.