Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

[m76b74]

ok, but what does that have to do with her bringing someone along to get the kid? Shouldn't that be bye, see you next week, he skinned his knee at the park?

You shouldn't really be talking at all, so who cares?

My point exactly. She shouldn't have brought family along then dump a bunch of demands on me on how things are going to be (she says) when it should be 100% about the boy. Let the lawyers talk, that's what we pay them for. She knows that with family present I wont say shit, never would even if she was solo. It was calculated.

I have to say it, you sound like you had blinders on. Rarely does this kind of thing just come out of nowhere. That's not to say it's your fault but we men can be pretty clueless when it comes to women and relationships. I feel for you, I do, but all that resentment and bitterness will hurt you even if your ex is a total cunt.

Yeah, I'm probably guilty of blinders. And yeah, I'm trying my damnedest to get through the bitterness and resentment.

[MagnificentUnicorn]

4 different sets of dialogue within 1 thread, that I'm not to baked to follow.

TOO baked Bobby, slow down just a bit.

[wyeaster]

^exactly

many folks have gone through shit in their lives to different degrees than you. previously you went out of your way to argue and go after people as spook and now it's this passive woe is me shit and I then a lecture because you are a changed person

what the fuck ever

i never went after anybody about their personal life or certainly anybody who was obviously in trouble. even in the past i reached out repeatedly to support people who were suffering. any of my conflict in the past was rooted exclusively in politics or the general debasement of everything by white men and there are a high percentage of us here. if it got personal, it was because of the political. i'm not saying that it was justified, but this is a little bit different. trying to defend this place as some kind of moral community is a bit odd. people encourage people to share, then judge. the fact that i am finally acknowledging a lot of shit that has happened almost continuously for 30 years does not equate to woe is me. it could actually just be me realizing something and talking about it. apparently there are all kinds of rules about this that i didn't realize. i have never asked anybody here for anything but advice.

[frorider]

Mtngirl go easy on him. He doesn't want her 'alone' so that he threaten her etc. He's just like most normal human beings in that he probably sees a quiet no-drama kid handoff as the least stressful for all concerned. Some people don't aspire to have their lives look like a Jerry Springer episode.

And Yeah, I've been asked to be the ride along friend when someone is getting their stuff back from a hostile ex, but that may not apply here.

[MagnificentUnicorn]

Mtngirl go easy on him. He doesn't want her 'alone' so that he threaten her etc. He's just like most normal human beings in that he probably sees a quiet no-drama kid handoff as the least stressful for all concerned. Some people don't aspire to have their lives look like a Jerry Springer episode.

And Yeah, I've been asked to be the ride along friend when someone is getting their stuff back from a hostile ex, but that may not apply here.

Take it easy on Mtngrrrl, she's just speaking from her experience dealing with divorce and child custody.

[m76b74]

Mtngirl go easy on him. He doesn't want her 'alone' so that he threaten her etc. He's just like most normal human beings in that he probably sees a quiet no-drama kid handoff as the least stressful for all concerned. Some people don't aspire to have their lives look like a Jerry Springer episode.

And Yeah, I've been asked to be the ride along friend when someone is getting their stuff back from a hostile ex, but that may not apply here.

Exactly. I'm not piling on Mtngirl. My soon to be ex and I agreed through attorneys to not discuss the case in front of our son when doing dropoffs. Minimal conversation, that's what was agreed upon. By our attorneys. Her showing up with a family member unannounced and then proceeding to unload how she sees things working out regarding custody wasn't agreed to or cool. See my earlier posts on how she went ballistic on her attorney this week. Her attorney said to mine, 'wow, I've seen a side of her I never have before and advised she seek someone to talk to'. She's trying to circumvent the agreed upon framework. The antithesis of collaborative if you ask me.

[babybear]

The goal would be to not post that mean scab picking shit from the get go
Guarantee your life will be better if you can hold off on that.
Friends don't pick other friends scabs

[wyeaster]

i also just realized that i was asshole to advres just for being advres and it wasn't political.

[iceman]

i also just realized that i was asshole to advres just for being advres and it wasn't political.

Well that's only natural.

[Tippster]

[wyeaster]

i promise i will have nothing to say further but what you did mtngirl was not some minor thing and that should have been obvious from what you read. so either you have no judgment or you're exceptionally malicious for whatever reason or both. i'm not sure what level you're trying to rise to but i've never done anything like that to anybody and i've never called you any names. i don't care but you might consider whether a tepid apology is appropriate after you fuck with somebody like that. i thought i was done with you before, but i kept trying to offer support. i promise i'm done now.

[shroom]

I hope that SoB is reading along somewhere

[wyeaster]

I hope that SoB is reading along somewhere

oh i'm sure he is. i'll post his semi-annual update when he posts it.

[babybear]

Did you see the whole page because I disagreed with livetoski's 5 year marriage contract? I'm not perfect, but I have never seen you call out assholes like STFU once. Not once and I do not rise to that level.

Hell I post a picture of a hat I made someone and there are negative comments on there which since have been deleted.. Im pretty sure dunfree is cleaning shit up, lately.

Stfu is a jerk for sure
But maybe you need to get away from this place if you are comparing yourself to better behavior than the biggest douches here.
I generally ignore them. You I have a harder time ignoring bc I'd love to see you get beyond this continuous anger

[Tippster]

Stfu is a jerk for sure
But maybe you need to get away from this place if you are comparing yourself to better behavior than the biggest douches here.
I generally ignore them. You I have a harder time ignoring bc I'd love to see you get beyond this continuous anger

Hear Hear.

[MagnificentUnicorn]

I agree it was shitty, and I shouldn't have posted it, but you are the one who made it personal by linking to that website. Thats akin to me actually posting pictures of my boobs.

No it isn't, not at all.

[babybear]

My real life is getting better and better, actually. I just got a good review at work. I am running a few miles most days again...

My options here are leave or fight with the assholes. Im kinda stubborn, if I wasn't I would probably be dead.

I'm really stoked to hear that things are looking up for you
Ok as long as you 'like' it here with this fighting. Just maybe think about not being so stubborn to have to respond to every jerk comment. Trust me it works

[MagnificentUnicorn]

Like this post. Im posting from experience as a woman that has had experience with an abusive relationship. You do not want to see your ex partner alone. Suggesting it comes off creepy whatever your intentions.

I do not need to live through an ugly divorce or a custody battle to know that. All I need to know is what it is like to fear a partner. Anyone who knows what that is like, or who can empathise what that might be like wouldn't have any trouble understanding why this guys wife might not want to meet him alone, regardless of her motives.

I know it's only his word, but her motivation was to have inappropriate communication and have someone there to "back her up ". If that's true it has nothing to do with what you're talking about, you're making it about you. Again.

[Brock Landers]

You should start a thread about the world view of men and women. Seriously

[wyeaster]

I agree it was shitty, and I shouldn't have posted it, but you are the one who made it personal by linking to that website. Thats akin to me actually posting pictures of my boobs.

no, it's nothing like that. but i'm familiar with people who minimize the harm they cause and maximize any harm done to them.

it would be something like that MAYBE if i got the pictures from someone -- a man -- who had terrorized you a woman -- or maybe your best female friend -- for years and said all sorts of nasty shit about you, and then i referred to the pictures in a thread where you were discussing an enormous unrelated crisis in your life and given the nature of it you felt compelled to own it first, at the risk of having even more personal information of people you care about exposed because you didn't want that threat hanging over your head. it would be more like that.

yet you chose to say it anyway and now you're trying to shift responsibility to me and you're claiming again you were victimized, but i didn't victimize you at all. i expressed the most polite fatigue of your drama, which is still in the violent externalization phase. and yet you responded to me.

[Phill]

You should start a thread about the world view of men and women. Seriously

And then only post in that thread.

Mtngirl - You say its not all about you, so, how do you explain why almost everyone criticizes you, in almost every PR thread you post in, for making it about yourself? Is everyone else just crazy? Could you admit that it's possible that maybe you do try and insert yourself into discussions that have nothing to do with you?

[MagnificentUnicorn]

No I am not. It is not about me, its about how the world views "men" and how the world views "women".

Her talking about the divorce/custody or whatever she tried to talk about was wrong and bad but that is a separate issue than her bringing someone with her.

All she has to say is she needed to bring someone along because she was afraid and everyone will believe her and if he fights that, he will look like the asshole.

This is not about me. A man who insists his spouse whom he is in a bitter divorce/custody battle with come alone does not look good.

Yes, you are. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say we wouldn't have heard about his ex bringing someone along if she hadn't used the opportunity to make inappropriate demands. I bet he didn't ask her to come alone either. He was relating a story about a specific incident not making commentary about the proper protocol for dealing with a hostile ex during a child hand off.

I don't dislike you, I don't have any feelings about you at all. Well other than the fact that you're bitter and narcissistic, but that's really just an observation.

[MakersTeleMark]

So how does, "man up, fucker?" and take care of yourself so you can take care of your kid sound?

FKNA!

[Tippster]

No I am not. It is not about me, its about how the world views "men" and how the world views "women".

Her talking about the divorce/custody or whatever she tried to talk about was wrong and bad but that is a separate issue than her bringing someone with her.

All she has to say is she needed to bring someone along because she was afraid and everyone will believe her and if he fights that, he will look like the asshole

Tell me again how women are the victims all the time. That's some awful manipulation right there.

[iceman]

Meanwhile, since he started this thread, Tuckerman has gotten re-married and had a kid.