Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

[iceman]

^ Wif's out of town?

You're kind a dick but nobody said you're dumb.

[stfu&gbtw]

"Kind of" a dick? Might be time to ease off the xanax...

[hikesalot]

Marriage is hard. That is all I can say. Some days I am like "wtf?" Honestly I guess I should say kids and other stresses are what are hard and make a marriage hard. I always joke to my husband that these kids really cramp my style. You can't know how you're going to handle the stresses until you're there and add just growing and changing over time and wa-la, marriage has ups and downs.

vibes to all of you going thru divorce or hard times.

[Meadow Skipper]

I'll consider myself chastised. But he was looking at this thread and I wanted to hear what he had to say and if I posted it in a car thread he probably wouldn't even have seen it.

So hey fuck off.

^ Wif's out of town?

You're kind a dick but nobody said you're dumb.

"Kind of" a dick? Might be time to ease off the xanax...

Filed under 'why I like this place.'

[shroom]

im just bummed BMills isn’t around to correct stfu on his intended use of the term ‘EuroSpecAudiRS6AvantTurboDiesel6-speedwithabox’

[sb]

He be back when hes ready.

In the mean time, full sarcasm ahead.

[DBdude]

i gotta think he’s an alias in here somewhere

he looks in occasionally. he is dealing with some shit and is taking a break from this place

[stfu&gbtw]

im just bummed BMills isn’t around to correct stfu on his intended use of the term ‘EuroSpecAudiRS6AvantTurboDiesel6-speedwithabox’

Euro Spec is redundant and you can't get a diesel RS6. Don't fuck with me. I've got a 100mbps circuit, forecast is 45 and overcast, and I have no plans for the day.

[MagnificentUnicorn]

Maybe I can reply without mod approval if I'm not M-series?

Thanks for the encouragement, ice. glad to hear its working out for you guys.

Just got off the phone with the doc who helped me cut back 3 years ago. Got an appt two weeks out, says don't booze in the meantime. Fuck, that's gonna be fucking painful. Fuck. Fuck, this is rock fucking bottom. Drunk, in debt, no retirement, no house, no wife, no dog. nothing. Shit. I'm fucking 40. I'm so fucking petrified of becoming some non-drinking weirdo. What kind of thinking is that? holy fuck i've fucked this all up. Career kind of in the shits too. Shattered law practice. Again, from drinking, or at least having fucked up priorities.

That's a fucking country song right there...

[Marshall Tucker]

Shattered law practice. Again, from drinking, or at least having fucked up priorities.

hey man, keep your chin up. anything can happen!

[liv2ski]

I think that the reality is that eventually all of us married guys are at some point or another teetering on the edge of divorce.

Making too much money and not around and available - she is tempted to divorce you.

Not making enough money - she is tempted to divorce you.

Too many hobbies keeping you away - she is tempted to divorce you.

Not enough hobbies means that you’re a boring slob - she is tempted to divorce you.

Drink too much - she is tempted to divorce you.

Don’t get out socializing enough/drinking - she is tempted to divorce you.




Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

I call bullshit on the above. Want to have a great marriage? Treat each other like you did before marriage, meaning they are #1. You are doing all you can to make them happy and visa versa. It sounds simple, but it is hard to do unless you are both consciously trying to make each other happy. Retrovaille saved my marriage about 20 years ago because it gave me the tools to be kind to my girl and let her know I needed the same consideration. YYMV.

Edit to add; is everyday a holiday, no. But after all we have been through together, we know what to let go and we rarely go to bed mad at each other. It isn't easy and I am uncertain it is even natural for people to stay married forever, but it can be happily done, if your heads and hearts are on the same page. If you're like us, growing up in dysfunctional families, you need training to get there.

[stfu&gbtw]

It's absurdly unrealistic, not to mention unhealthy, to walk around with he expectation of making another person the top priority in your life, or that another person is making you the top priority in theirs. I've made no secret of the marital frustrations I experience, but we've never been within miles of getting a divorce. Our relationship is based on a mutual set of values that include loyalty, honesty, acceptance, and our commitment to living our individual and shared lives in a way that is devoted to our goals (like raising our daughter, recreation, work, friends, community, etc.).

If anyone is the top priority, it is our daughter, and even that is realized as the implementation of effort on the basis of those values we embrace personally - not the intention to make someone else the priority. Maybe at some level this becomes semantic... When our daughter's needs are prioritized, are we prioritizing her, or our own inclination to prioritize her? I love recursive arguments (it's turtles all the way down!) But with regard to each other, there is less uncertainty... Ours is a shared path along which we are both responsible for showing up being ready to walk. And the expectation (in general) is that we will be ready to walk because this is important to us as individuals. And no, we're not incredibly patient with each other when/if that commitment isn't being fulfilled for no good reason. We've got stuff we want to do, and we're not going to waste our time instead.

[fastfred]

I think that the reality is that eventually all of us married guys are at some point or another teetering on the edge of divorce.

Making too much money and not around and available - she is tempted to divorce you.

Not making enough money - she is tempted to divorce you.

Too many hobbies keeping you away - she is tempted to divorce you.

Not enough hobbies means that you’re a boring slob - she is tempted to divorce you.

Drink too much - she is tempted to divorce you.

Don’t get out socializing enough/drinking - she is tempted to divorce you.




Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

no I disagree, this is pretty much it without a doubt
try dating, bitches is all I can say

they want you to have a ton of money a huge savings account high credit score and all that bullshit, but they don't want you to be working 50 - 60 hrs a week, come home tired and all that shit
sorrry but I fucked up and can't make a ton of money working 30 hrs a week, my bad

hobbies? Fuck I've seen so many guys with their balls in their wife's purse, its sad, I'd rather be single than live like that

Alcohol and drugs, well I get that one, believe me Alcohol is evil, real evil, sorry, sobriety is a gift, a dry drunk is a ball of anger usually, a drunk well happy saint patricks day

[delco714]

It's absurdly unrealistic, not to mention unhealthy, to walk around with he expectation of making another person the top priority in your life, or that another person is making you the top priority in theirs. I've made no secret of the marital frustrations I experience, but we've never been within miles of getting a divorce. Our relationship is based on a mutual set of values that include loyalty, honesty, acceptance, and our commitment to living our individual and shared lives in a way that is devoted to our goals (like raising our daughter, recreation, work, friends, community, etc.).

If anyone is the top priority, it is our daughter, and even that is realized as the implementation of effort on the basis of those values we embrace personally - not the intention to make someone else the priority. Maybe at some level this becomes semantic... When our daughter's needs are prioritized, are we prioritizing her, or our own inclination to prioritize her? I love recursive arguments (it's turtles all the way down!) But with regard to each other, there is less uncertainty... Ours is a shared path along which we are both responsible for showing up being ready to walk. And the expectation (in general) is that we will be ready to walk because this is important to us as individuals. And no, we're not incredibly patient with each other when/if that commitment isn't being fulfilled for no good reason. We've got stuff we want to do, and we're not going to waste our time instead.

Sounds pretty efficient. But not for me..I want a interdependent partner in crime.. But I may find that there's more to this and I just haven't found the right one to inspire me..who knows
I have yet to find the traditional emotional loving clingy girl that drags her man around and looks at wedding pamphlets, etc..I seem to attract the cold and the emotionally blunted/evasive

[DBdude]

you are fucking my girl friend? god damn...

a chic who has been through a divorce and what not has learned that a man is not the be all end all

my chic is a fucking pain in the ass about boundaries and what not. my ex wife and I had a different kind of relationship because we met when we were younger and more naive.

those days are over for you tiger

[reckless toboggan]

Hahaha!

Everyone in this thread is arguing with everyone else in this thread like they are an old married couple on the cusp of divorce...

Given this is TGR, I can't tell if thats ironic, or just ronic.

[AK47bp]

[shroom]

Euro Spec is redundant and you can't get a diesel RS6. Don't fuck with me. I've got a 100mbps circuit, forecast is 45 and overcast, and I have no plans for the day.

locked and loaded. i can’t handle that kinda heat.

[Jong Lafitte]

Posted as an alias before. She's taking the dog. We're still basically, for better or for worse and at least for now, best friends. She's got a lease in the ATX starting in April. I feel bad cuz she loves it here, thinks ATX is cheaper, trying to save us both some bucks. Thanks so much for everyone who's tried to help so far, using their normal handles, no less. fuck. wooo I'm fucked. funny how clearly I saw shit when I quit drinking even just for a week. We're drinking and "hanging" together before she leaves but man, it don't seem healthy sometimes when you pour booze on it, even if we are friendly.

PS if you figure out who she is, please be nice and don't take sides, which is one of my biggest fears about telling anyone. Thanks again for the love.

[iceman]

How we gonna figure out who she is? she posts here? There's only like 3 choices if so.

[Mazderati]

Tough maintaining contact if feelings are still there. Easy to say, maybe hard to do, but get yourself healthy.

[Jong Lafitte]

How we gonna figure out who she is? she posts here? There's only like 3 choices if so.

^^ yeah, not a poster, more like "IRL" i suppose.

[delco714]

How are you all doing?

I had to refinance my house..and now looking to move to NC to practice..get out of Me..and NE..

This has been a shit breakup. It's just sad. Some anger.. Resentment and the rage is gone..no hard feelings

But the possibility of seeing her at work daily is terrible. Like a knife to the gut.

It has made me cold and cynical.. I'm not like that..but here I am. This fairy tale blew up in my face. No way to predict it as it went from 100-0 rapidly.

A big change in job and scenery I'm hoping Will help..though they say wherever you go, you bring you and your problems with you..

Here's to the next step?

[Shredhead]

Why go to NC?
If you’re a skier, go west!

[Mazderati]

Here's to the next step?

San Diego is out?