Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

[MakersTeleMark]

Think of how full your fridge will be.

[oftpiste]

Think of how full your fridge will be.

....and how long a package of toilet paper will last. Seriously.

Funny, my FXW got a wrist tattoo around the time the shitstorm began a few years ago. I actually liked it. It's tasteful, artistic, not huge, subdued, a tribute to a lost family member, and generally covered by bracelets, but interesting to see that subject arise here and perhaps it should have been seen as some kind of writing on the wall.

Full disclosure however, I got my first tatt the same week she moved.

[anonalias]

Dude, I’m not even going to have a fridge to start. Or a stove. Or a working toilet. Or a motherfucking heat system.

And I’m not going to furnish my new house with stuff from my old house. Not around Christmas. I’m not the fucking grinch. So, yeah.... should be an interesting few weeks.

[fastfred]

Right. I’m betting that it won’t. A shitload.

Related note: she’s getting wrist tats. Commentary on future employment prospects with wrist tats? I️ don’t really get to have an opinion, and not trying to.... just seems like a bad idea from the perspective of her supporting herself ever.

hang in there, move on, the future is bright, tattoos don't matter these days

as far as tattoos not your problem, don't worry about it, I've got wrist tattoos, it is what it is, my ex is covered in tattoos like tons, arms, back, chest, she made sure she got a few with her disposable income that our marriage provided her before she left and that money dried up, oh darn

[Skidog]

Dude, I’m not even going to have a fridge to start. Or a stove. Or a working toilet. Or a motherfucking heat system.

And I’m not going to furnish my new house with stuff from my old house. Not around Christmas. I’m not the fucking grinch. So, yeah.... should be an interesting few weeks.

Where are you living? A box on the street? No heat? No fridge? No stove? Did you rent someone's storage shed? Moving into the storage facility? Geez.

Sent from my XT1650 using TGR Forums mobile app

[frorider]

Pretty sure he’s in a van down by the river.

[anonalias]

That’s about how it feels. It’s a foreclosure. Should be able to fix it all up in the first week or so, if not the first couple days. Some small problems with bigger systems. Buy a stove and a fridge, replace a couple radiators and the toilet and I should be in business. There’s a wood stove and a gas fireplace that are both in fine shape.

[oftpiste]

Sounds like a good project to keep your mind off of other shit for a while. And that's not a bad thing to have.

[anonalias]

That’s the plan. I’ll have some time....

Get it functional and then make it nice: add a bathroom or two, redo the kitchen, finish off the attic space so it can be used as a bedroom, get rid of the popcorn ceilings, fixtures/trim, redo some drywall, flooring, etc. flip it or keep it.... none of it is in my name, so nothing to complicate “the estate” or whatever.

[TWINS]

Well thats good news. I rented a room from a friend for 2 years before figuring things out.Just worked my ass off for those 2 years also. Its good to stay busy. Good luck with the remodel.

[anonalias]

I hate my life with an incredible passion right now. I’m not sure I feel too much better about myself. [/whine]

My STBX was crying, begging me not to go. She told me the kids were crying, wanting to know why daddy was leaving us. Fuck this. I do not know how one gets through this without crawling into a dark hole.

My resolve is more or less hanging by a thread.

[Gepeto]

My resolve is more or less hanging by a thread.

resolve is always a thin layer. One foot at a time. Your doing this for all of you. A happier daddy is more better.

And you know it gets better because it just can't get any worse.

Your do diligence will pay dividends. I promise

[MakersTeleMark]

She's not a STBX if you don't GTFO.

[Cono Este]

I hate my life with an incredible passion right now. I’m not sure I feel too much better about myself. [/whine]

My STBX was crying, begging me not to go. She told me the kids were crying, wanting to know why daddy was leaving us. Fuck this. I do not know how one gets through this without crawling into a dark hole.

My resolve is more or less hanging by a thread.

It gets better. Do fun stuff with your kids and keep in mind that they will not grow up in a house witnessing their parents fighting etc.

I live 1mm from my kids and they both tell me they love every single time I speak with them. I’ve probably spent more time with them than most married guys, and they know the effort I’ve made to stick around St. Louis while I’m from Ca.

[oftpiste]

Hang in there anon. Your power is in remaining calm as you can. Try not to forget that unbalanced people can exhibit their unbalanced-ness in unpredictable and unexpected ways and she's on an end of the pendulum swing you haven't seen before.

They don't like to be stood up to or losing the ability to constantly fuck with you which happens when you leave. Her tears are for herself and not you, and remember she's the one that made all this happen.

Yes, your kids are crying but try to think of it like the oxygen masks on the plane. You have to put yours on first so you are strong enough to help others. If you're not healthy it'll be hard to take care of the kids the way you need to and being there with her is not healthy. And since she's not you need to make sure you are. For your kids.

It's quite the mindfuck when person who has blown up your and their lives doesn't understand why you can't just act like everything's fine anymore.

Hang in there man.

[RShea]

Just also have to let the kids know that you leaving them has NOTHING to do with you not loving them, or anything that they did to cause this split. Need to reach out to them and let them know that while you may not get to see them each and every day or give them a hug or a kiss, that you ARE STILL there for them and if they ever need you, they can definitely still reach out to you....

[Meadow Skipper]

All very good advice in the preceding five posts. I've been where anon is, and it turned out that my daughter has always been emotionally close and she is wonderful and just recently got engaged to a really great guy.

It gets better. Much better. You just have to hang and do the best you can.

[DBdude]

I hate my life with an incredible passion right now. I’m not sure I feel too much better about myself. [/whine]

My STBX was crying, begging me not to go. She told me the kids were crying, wanting to know why daddy was leaving us. Fuck this. I do not know how one gets through this without crawling into a dark hole.

My resolve is more or less hanging by a thread.

think about it... if your pride and her pride can handle it. sometimes there is too much hurt

most people aren't up to it

good luck

[Mazderati]

[NW_SKIER]

Congratulations, boys. Nice to see a bright spot in an otherwise grey thread.

Thanks, buddy.

Hopefully I never have to post in this thread and endure the things theses guys are going through. Vibes, fellas.

[Cono Este]

Some good comments.


When I got divorced i rushed out and bought a nice house, dog, motorcycle, pool table, etc. and of course furniture

Anyway, my point is renting for a yr or two, and packing light is not a bad idea. You now have some freedom you’ve not had in a while and traveling etc. is made easier.

As much i am an advocate of sticking around for the kids, sometimes it cannotnwork out that way if you’re ex makes life shitty enough. In hindsight, I should have not stayed in a town with no good employment opportunity for myself. Of course I did not realize St. Louis was such a backwards ass/inbred place at that time.

[anonalias]

Had the kids overnight for the first time last night. The house was NOT ready, but I had all the essentials. I’ve got a lot to learn....

The whole thing is super fucking rough. The lows are really low and the highs aren’t all that high. Pretty lonely to be in an empty house around the holidays. Getting there, though. The STBX isn’t doing well with it, which I have a hard time with.

[Meadow Skipper]

Yeah, it's hard. Maybe talk with the kids about what they'd like to see/do in the new digs. Work on that and play with them a lot. Going out to a movie or playground or attraction can help. Or have their friends over and have a party.

If you're concerned about the STBX and her feelings, don't do that. Ignore her feelings, you don't have any responsibilities there. That's what divorce is about.

[XXX-er]

Had the kids overnight for the first time last night. The house was NOT ready, but I had all the essentials. I’ve got a lot to learn....

The whole thing is super fucking rough. The lows are really low and the highs aren’t all that high. Pretty lonely to be in an empty house around the holidays. Getting there, though. The STBX isn’t doing well with it, which I have a hard time with.

the thing is that if yer ok

the kids will be ok

SO be okay

okay?

[boardtodeath]

the thing is that if yer ok

the kids will be ok

SO be okay

okay?

This is the truth