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Thread: I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

  1. #751
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    Quote Originally Posted by concretejungle View Post
    And you picked one that undermines you in front of the kids so we've all got a cross to bear.
    Yeah, don't get me wrong it's not all perfect or close to it on my side of the fence. But as someone married to an ADHD person when it comes to organizing, I just stated my opinion from the non-ADHD person's side. She has made me less sloppy, which is good. I wan't a total inconsiderate slob though, but sometimes I feel like I'm in military school, ha.

    Any of your wives read Real Simple mag? It's a warning sign. Whole mag is all about organizing shit.

  2. #752
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flyoverland Captive View Post
    My wife drops tools wherever she last used them, every time.
    This=me. i've taught my three sons well. wife likes to joke that driving by our house looks like the rapture, like the humans were just sucked up into the sky. YMMV
    "Can't you see..."

  3. #753
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    Quote Originally Posted by muted View Post
    Any of your wives read Real Simple mag? It's a warning sign. Whole mag is all about organizing shit.
    My wife has the book "Does this clutter male my butt look big?"
    Premise, being a slob leads to being s fat slob...

  4. #754
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    Quote Originally Posted by SumJongGuy View Post
    Sprayer is always out of the kitchen sink holster and sitting in the middle of the sink. Makes no difference if there are dishes in the sink or not.. Sprayer is never returned to it's proper storage place..
    Return the sprayer to the holster with a rubber band wrapped around it.

  5. #755
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    Quote Originally Posted by SumJongGuy View Post
    My wife has the book "Does this clutter male my butt look big?"
    Premise, being a slob leads to being s fat slob...
    Ha, I thought that was a fake book title. That looks like a book for slobs making their first stpe, Real Simple is high-level organization for tweakers. "Everything seems organized but I'm anxious still, how do I take this organization to the next level?!?!?" (Which is usually having nothing on the counters so all my shit disappears into a vortex....)

  6. #756
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    My wife makes these kale smoothies in the mornings and instead of cleaning up the juicer, just fills the sink and lets it marinate all day. She cleans it in the evenings, but I’m sick of coming home to a nasty green soup. I may have mentioned she could could clean it up before work, but she must know hikesalot, because she told me to fuck off.

  7. #757
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mazderati View Post
    Return the sprayer to the holster with a rubber band wrapped around it.
    We've moved on to loo seat up or downage now.

    This advice could proof painful
    Quote Originally Posted by Downbound Train View Post
    And there will come a day when our ancestors look back...........

  8. #758
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elkhound Odin View Post
    Anyone else see their long time spouse just change their behavior like this?
    LOL. You mean like turning into a completely different person after 30 years and blowing up 5 people's lives? Yeah.
    Quote Originally Posted by Foggy_Goggles View Post
    If I lived in WA, Oft would be my realtor. Seriously.

  9. #759
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    Good point... She just texted me about making something special for dinner tonight. Maybe I'll just order pizza.
    Name:  Screen Shot 2018-10-23 at 12.06.59 PM.png
Views: 1192
Size:  384.6 KB

    Mrs. Plug was cleaning out some old jelly in the sink, and the jar slipped out of her hands right into the running garbage disposal. She doesn't scream, exactly, but makes an adult groan or something, and shuts it off. No 1/4" allen screw is going to fix this one, although I gave it a shot. I removed the disposal, put it over a bucket upside down and worked out all the small chunks of glass. Good as new. Shit happens. I guess the disposal thing really is gender specific.
    Well maybe I'm the faggot America
    I'm not a part of a redneck agenda

  10. #760
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elkhound Odin View Post
    ...Recently, for some unknown reason to me, she has been leaving the lids up...Anyone else see their long time spouse just change their behavior like this?
    ...[emoji53]
    ...erm...guy?
    How about, there has been some other dude in your house?
    Just saying...

    Sent from my SM-G930P using TGR Forums mobile app

    ...Remember, those who think Global Warming is Fake, also think that Adam & Eve were Real...

  11. #761
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    Quote Originally Posted by TurxSki View Post
    ...[emoji53]
    ...erm...guy?
    How about, there has been some other dude in your house?
    Just saying...

    Sent from my SM-G930P using TGR Forums mobile app
    Not unless that dude is invisible since it happens whether I’m home or not


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  12. #762
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    Any monkeys nearby?

  13. #763
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    Ho long has your wife been peeing standing up?
    Go that way really REALLY fast. If something gets in your way, TURN!

  14. #764
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    I think people are having trouble distinguishing between a toilet seat and a toilet lid.
    "fuck off you asshat gaper shit for brains fucktard wanker." - Jesus Christ
    "She was tossing her bean salad with the vigor of a Drunken Pop princess so I walked out of the corner and said.... "need a hand?"" - Odin
    "everybody's got their hooks into you, fuck em....forge on motherfuckers, drag all those bitches across the goal line with you." - (not so) ill-advised strategy

  15. #765
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    ^^^ No. He said "leaving the lids up", plural, so assume seat and lid.
    But maybe you're right.

    Sent from my SM-G930P using TGR Forums mobile app

    ...Remember, those who think Global Warming is Fake, also think that Adam & Eve were Real...

  16. #766
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    Seat down, lid up. I don't like the idea of things hiding under a closed lid. Never know what could be under there.
    I see hydraulic turtles.

  17. #767
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    The Dude: My wife? Bunny? Do you see a wedding ring on my finger? Does this place look like I'm fuckin married? The toilet seat's up man!
    Lee Lau - xxx-er is the laziest Asian canuck I know

  18. #768
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    Quote Originally Posted by TurxSki View Post
    ^^^ No. He said "leaving the lids up", plural, so assume seat and lid.
    But maybe you're right.

    Sent from my SM-G930P using TGR Forums mobile app
    He has more than one toilet in his house.
    "fuck off you asshat gaper shit for brains fucktard wanker." - Jesus Christ
    "She was tossing her bean salad with the vigor of a Drunken Pop princess so I walked out of the corner and said.... "need a hand?"" - Odin
    "everybody's got their hooks into you, fuck em....forge on motherfuckers, drag all those bitches across the goal line with you." - (not so) ill-advised strategy

  19. #769
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    Quote Originally Posted by frorider View Post
    Any monkeys nearby?
    And bricks
    Quando paramucho mi amore de felice carathon.
    Mundo paparazzi mi amore cicce verdi parasol.
    Questo abrigado tantamucho que canite carousel.


  20. #770
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    Quote Originally Posted by plugboots View Post
    Name:  Screen Shot 2018-10-23 at 12.06.59 PM.png
Views: 1192
Size:  384.6 KB

    Mrs. Plug was cleaning out some old jelly in the sink, and the jar slipped out of her hands right into the running garbage disposal. She doesn't scream, exactly, but makes an adult groan or something, and shuts it off. No 1/4" allen screw is going to fix this one, although I gave it a shot. I removed the disposal, put it over a bucket upside down and worked out all the small chunks of glass. Good as new. Shit happens. I guess the disposal thing really is gender specific.
    Funny, I was told one way to sharpen the blades in your garbage disposal was to grind glass.

    Every now and then I break and old jar and run it through the disposal.

  21. #771
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    Quote Originally Posted by riser3 View Post
    Seat down, lid up. I don't like the idea of things hiding under a closed lid. Never know what could be under there.
    How else are the dogs gonna get a drink if their bowl runs out? Think of the puppies!

  22. #772
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elkhound Odin View Post
    So here's a switch. Many years ago when first married, she was all over me not putting the lid down. We live in peaceful bathroom harmony as I obliged her request. Recently, for some unknown reason to me, she has been leaving the lids up. Not, that I care either way (fortunately the dog doesn't drink from the toilet). It's a peculiar that she is doing something she was diametrically opposed to.

    Anyone else see their long time spouse just change their behavior like this?
    A paddling bro did mention that he never got blow jobs until the ex-wife started messing around with a guy named Larry
    Lee Lau - xxx-er is the laziest Asian canuck I know

  23. #773
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    Quote Originally Posted by XXX-er View Post
    A paddling bro did mention that he never got blow jobs until the ex-wife started messing around with a guy named Larry
    Larry liked the cock?
    Damn, we're in a tight spot!

  24. #774
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    Experts recommend closing the lid before flushing because fecal matter and diluted urine gets dispersed in to the air and blows all over your bathroom, tooth brushes, etc when the toilet is flushed.

    Always Close the Toilet Lid When You Flush, Here’s Why
    Go that way really REALLY fast. If something gets in your way, TURN!

  25. #775
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    Quote Originally Posted by SumJongGuy View Post
    Experts recommend closing the lid before flushing because fecal matter and diluted urine gets dispersed in to the air and blows all over your bathroom, tooth brushes, etc when the toilet is flushed.

    Always Close the Toilet Lid When You Flush, Here’s Why
    and then open the lid so i know that nothing is hiding under it.
    I see hydraulic turtles.

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