I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

[splat]

Wife just asked what I was smiling about.

DANGER DANGER DANGER

[I've seen black diamonds!]

Calling out my wife on any annoying behavior is utterly futile. She will simply begin listing all the things I have done wrong. She has an uncanny mental catalogue of the chores I haven't finished in a timely manner over the last 9 years. I have neither the will nor the energy to compete.

They key to successfully getting her to change persistently irksome behavior is not to complain, but to look hurt and defeated. My appearing hurt has a profound affect on her. I can't recommend this tactic enough.

[AK47bp]

I found when I act like I'm in charge and tell her I'm going skiing without her I get an attitude from her. When I'm super nice and loving she will just out if the blue say "you should go skiing this weekend". Don't know if it's her training me or me training her. All I know is if I see fresh snow in the forecast I become awfully nice a few days before.

I should note she usually skis with me but she's pregnant right now.

[TahoeJ]

^^ Same deal for me.

They key to successfully getting her to change persistently irksome behavior is not to complain, but to look hurt and defeated. My appearing hurt has a profound affect on her. I can't recommend this tactic enough.

It's funny, women tend to be the ones to employ the silent treatment, when it's far more effective for men. I've learned to just bite my tongue and wait...

[peck257]

Calling out my wife on any annoying behavior is utterly futile. She will simply begin listing all the things I have done wrong. She has an uncanny mental catalogue of the chores I haven't finished in a timely manner over the last 9 years. I have neither the will nor the energy to compete.

Sounds familiar...but I do have a few great stories about a former blonde roommate:

I am in bed sleeping and hear noises outside. I keep listening, its rocks hitting my bedroom window. Open the blinds and its my roommate. I open the window and ask her wtf she's doing. She replies that she locked herself out. I go downstairs and door is open (screen door is closed but not locked). All I could do is shake me head.

I get a call from her asking if I can come pick her up. She had gotten in a fight with some friends over dinner and decided to start walking (about 10 miles to the house). I get there and pick her up. While driving home I ask her where her car is. She says its back at the restaurant. I said "So you drove there?" She replies by asking if I can take her back in the morning to pick up her car. This would make sense if she had been drinking, but she had not.

[TomCrac]

[warthog]

I told my wife about the thread, and informed her that we are both very normal, by TGR standards at least.

Way too many of the same stories between all of us. It is a true Mars vs. Venus thing.

On lighting fires- my wife started one once at our old house, while I was out at the store. I come home to all the doors open, and her flipping out as I drive up. She had lit one of those fire logs with the flue closed. Total mess, but luckily I got the flue open through the flames. She got mad at me for closing the flue.

Fast fwd 2 years, and we are selling the house. As we remove furniture and pictures from that area, we realize that there are perfect outlines of everything still on the walls. We never noticed the smoke damage. I had to paint the entire wall, hearth, and most of the ceiling in that room. She was still mad at me for closing the flue.

[klar]

Way to go everybody!

[liv2ski]

Ah come on Klar, give us complainers a little rope. The bear snoring in the next room, keeping me awake, is going to get smothered someday.

[klar]

Ah come on liv2ski, just saying you all seem pretty handy at fixing appliances and changing oil and stuff! You don't like being called handy?

[AKPogue]

Hey Klar, so what does it mean if you are handsome and handy?

[liv2ski]

Klar, I was being sarcastic with the "give us a little rope" comment. As in enough to hang ourselves. I know my wife and her pals talk all kinds of shit about the guys, as they huddle up when they get together, voices low, looking around, before one of us handy/handsome guys sneaks up on them. It is in peoples nature to vent a bit. If they don't, well those kooks end up going postal.

[Meadow Skipper]

Hey Klar, so what does it mean if you are handsome and handy?

Sounds like you might have a chance.

[glademaster]

Working at a start up where both members of a couple are also employees only drives home the point that I couldn't tolerate the bullshit a woman inevitably brings into my life. Fuck that shit. What a whiny, needy, worthless waste of resources.

[abraham]

With that attitude it sounds like you should find a dude

[stfu&gbtw]

With that attitude it sounds like you should find a dude

I hate to put so fine a point on it, but why do you figure you don't see more straight dudes hanging out with gay dudes all the time? I don't know about anybody else, but I've never, in those moments when I'm pretending to listen to my wife, but in actuality, am debating between jabbing an ice pick in my ears or sticking my head underwater until I drown, thought to myself, "I wouldn't mind listening to this bullshit so much if only my wife had a penis."

[abraham]

I hate to put so fine a point on it, but why do you figure you don't see more straight dudes hanging out with gay dudes all the time? I don't know about anybody else, but I've never, in those moments when I'm pretending to listen to my wife, but in actuality, am debating between jabbing an ice pick in my ears or sticking my head underwater until I drown, thought to myself, "I wouldn't mind listening to this bullshit so much if only my wife had a penis."

Ha. You're probably right

[spook]

wow man I had no idea you were married. that casts the whole porn thing in a totally different light. sorry, bro. really am.

[~mikey b]

splat is only gay married

to me

[Lamothe]

There are more than two choices here (bottling it up or publicly posting complaints about your spouse). You could try communicating with your spouse rather than risking the potential that they or someone they know might see an internet post which could lead to feelings of betrayal, hurt and distrust - bells that are hard to unring .

One sex doing it more than another is a non-starter. I would say that on average unhappily married people do it more than people in a happy respectful marriage. But I'm not a psychologist, I just play one on the Internet.

How'd you get outa your cage? I never let my wife out her cage without supervision. Imarite guys?

All jokes aside , my wife and I have a mild addiction to pop( soda for you freedom ppl) and if it's in the house I drink it. So I don't buy it she claims not to either. I shit you fucking not, it's like living with a closet alcoholic, pop cans and bottle everywhere. Under the bed , in drawers , behind the couch , IN the couch. Lol we work at the same place and check out under her desk. Shit makes me crazy. Just throw them away.

[Lamothe]

[stompinlines]

Wife comes in to the lodge bitchin and moanin that some douche bag just creased the length of our car with his ball hitch. I'm like WTF?... where is he, what'd he say. Find out that it was parked (and empty). She basically hit a parked truck and was trying to blame it on the fucking PARKED truck.

I've also been to blame for not packing her boots to the mountain. She has 3 pairs now.

Your gal, at the least, better be fun to look at.

Lamothe, sweet pic. Thanks for making me squint for nothing.
Its 20 motherfucking 15. Is this a scanned polaroid?

[booner]

Just had a real doozie of a conversation

My son's team that I coach has a game later today. The manager sent out an email that said game was at 11....turns out the game is at 11:20

I figured this out as the wife and I were planning our departure time. Upon learning of the new, later time she says "so we're just going to get there early now?"

When I told her (in a very deliberate tone) "no, we're are going to leave later than we originally planned so we DON'T get there so early" she came back with "I'm not an idiot, you don't have to talk to me like that"


Love you!...(puff puff)

[stfu&gbtw]

Shit is absolutely perfect this morning, but the wife wants to be a stick in the mud. Kid asked if we could go play golf instead of skiing (it's supposed to be almost 70 in Denver), so the wife starts huffing around the house talking about how she's trying to get better at skiing and I just bought her new ski boots and now no one wants to go. It never occurred to me that dropping $550 on new ski boots for your wife's birthday could be construed as a bad thing. I dropped a splash of scotch in my coffee, so now she's struggling with the fact that she has a golf bum for a daughter and an alcoholic for a husband. Must be tough...

[Lamothe]

Your gal, at the least, better be fun to look at.

Lamothe, sweet pic. Thanks for making me squint for nothing.
Its 20 motherfucking 15. Is this a scanned polaroid?

I phone photo, it's under a desk, left the remote flash at home today