I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

[iceman]

[plugboots]

Shit, Ice, I'm dying here. I totally forgot about that video.

KQ, lighten up.

My wife was hanging out with some significant others at one of my creampuff races, and one said “Well at least they’re not doing heroin.” My wife got a couple tickets and crunched some car parts. Big Fucking Deal. I don’t go to bars and gripe to the bartender, I’m just venting a bit. I read an article that said happy married men do what their wife wants. I am that man.

Before my buddy got married I was explaining something about being married, and Mrs. Plug or something. He says: “You know what I would do…?” I stopped him quickly right there, and started laughing at him real loud. I said, “Yes please, you try that when you get married, and remember to let me know how that worked out for you.”

Dude so gets it now.

[Sparky]

^^ Fuckin awesome

I meant icemans vid

[TahoeJ]

I forgot about that video - hilarious. Nice pull, iceman.

[neufox47]

I just take care of this for my wife...there's no point in trying to make her take care of it...it just won't happen.

My gf decided to go get her oil changed on her own. Didn't ask where to go, what to get, etc. She went to Valvoline $120 later...

[hooked]

My gf seems to think there is some kind of force field that keeps heat in the oven.

It's the same one that keeps the cold in the refrigerator.

[TomCrac]

Keeping doors open. My wife would constantly go in to the fridge for something and then leave the door open while she's getting around to getting back to close it. Long enough where I would eventually close it and she'd be ticked at me saying she would have done it. Between that and not closing the door all the way she burnt through the fridge in short order. Bought another one and told her this is the last one I am buying for 10 years, you kill this one and it's not my problem.

Also doesn't mind talking with someone at the front door in the dead of winter with the door wide open, wtf? I wanna get an infrared reader and show her how much cold air drops out of the fridge and comes through the front door. Maybe then the lightbulb will go off. She tries to complain to me if I don't have the basement shut all the way, an inch or 2. She tries to brake my balls that I am letting all the cold air up in to the house.

[steff]

A friends wife's car won't start in the cold one morning, so she plugs in the block heater... later goes outside to check if the car has warmed up yet by putting her hand on the tires.

My girlfriend is French.

[El Chupacabra]

She tries to complain to me if I don't have the basement shut all the way, an inch or 2. She tries to brake my balls that I am letting all the cold air up in to the house.

Letting the cold air.... up?

[booner]

in similar, yet different news...

wife was talking about the self check-out line the other day and said "the check yourself line".

still laughing about it

[grskier]

Um. Yes?

Thought that was common knowledge. They come with one when you buy them.

So does every mediocre piece of furniture that makes it's way into my house....

most people think it's just for the install

[TomCrac]

Letting the cold air.... up?

Exactly.

[iceman]

in similar, yet different news...

wife was talking about the self check-out line the other day and said "the check yourself line".

still laughing about it

Wife just asked what I was smiling about.

DANGER DANGER DANGER

[doughboyshredder]

I just take care of this for my wife...there's no point in trying to make her take care of it...it just won't happen.

Oil changes are one of the biggest scams in the car industry.

3,000 miles my ass.

Toyota recommends 7K with synthetic.

I take care of it at about 13K

Truthfully with today's engines and synthetic oil you could easily go 25K without a problem.

[liv2ski]

Oil changes are one of the biggest scams in the car industry.

3,000 miles my ass.

Toyota recommends 7K with synthetic.

I take care of it at about 13K

Truthfully with today's engines and synthetic oil you could easily go 25K without a problem.

Not if it is a turbo engine that you would like to keep the PCV clean. I do mine at 5k intervals with Mobil 1. No PCV issues at 140k. And Iceman, that video so reminded me of my daughters. It must be a younger woman thing.

[byates1]

The chores, I just do 'em. They wouldn't get done otherwise and I'm way too OCD to live like that. I can live with that no problem.

What I have a tough time with is their memories. Totally faulty on anything important and current but like a computer on long-ago transgressions and mistakes. I know she's crazy but when she asks me for examples I can't think of 'em if they're more than a week old if that. But shit I did 20 years ago is right there at her fingertips and can be spilled out in list form and in detail on demand in an instant. So any concern I have is immediately buried with an avalanche of data and then quickly dismissed as trivial compared to "the list". Frustrating.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQ9L9YBJkk8

[huckbucket]

Alright ... I give in.

I have a doctorate and live and breath biomedical science. Nothing pisses me off more than incorrect and generalized scientific/medical information. For some reason, my wife ignores this fact and spews all sorts of medical shit she hears on TV or from her friends. Always anecdotal. Always exaggerated and always non-conditional.

[JayPowHound]

I feel the various dishwasher pain that has been shared. Ours isn't spectacular.. you have to actually remove stuck-on sauce and food bits before you load it or they will still be there when it's done.

How many years of 4-5 loads/week should it take to learn that??

[iceman]

How many you got?

[stfu&gbtw]

How many years of 4-5 loads/week should it take to learn that??

5 loads/week X 52 weeks X 15 years = "STOP JUDGING ME!"

[DasBlunt]

Oil changes are one of the biggest scams in the car industry.

3,000 miles my ass.

Toyota recommends 7K with synthetic.

I take care of it at about 13K

Truthfully with today's engines and synthetic oil you could easily go 25K without a problem.

oil pumps also work harder if the flow and density changes with combustion deposits. oil filters also have a flow life.

[stfu&gbtw]

After living in a house heated by wood for seven years, one would think lighting a fire would be on the list of acquired skills. But no... At least this time, I caught it before she tried to light the flat sheets of cardboard stacked on top of each other. Went through the other version of the story last night when she stacked a piece of wood so it laid flush over the stove's internal air vent. She'd be cute when she gets all huffy if it weren't so mind bendingly frustrating to have that conversation for the eleven hundredth time...

Just to clarify - despite my liberal contribution to this thread, I really do love my wife... this thread only illustrates the point that while you get to pick the challenges, the challenges are a given. I can only imagine my wife's version of this thread and the posts about this asshole who sent us all to live in the middle of the woods... He even expects me to learn to light a goddamned wood stove like it was 1850! It was 53 in the house this morning! And so on... Some days, it's good times had by all, and sometimes by none. Today's a good day so far! Wood stove notwithstanding, I woke up to getting laid and I'm playing golf this afternoon - can't fucking argue with that!

Well, maybe KQ can...

[concretejungle]

After living in a house heated by wood for seven years, one would think lighting a fire would be on the list of acquired skills. But no... At least this time, I caught it before she tried to light the flat sheets of cardboard stacked on top of each other. Went through the other version of the story last night when she stacked a piece of wood so it laid flush over the stove's internal air vent. She'd be cute when she gets all huffy if it weren't so mind bendingly frustrating to have that conversation for the eleven hundredth time...

Just to clarify - despite my liberal contribution to this thread, I really do love my wife... this thread only illustrates the point that while you get to pick the challenges, the challenges are a given. I can only imagine my wife's version of this thread and the posts about this asshole who sent us all to live in the middle of the woods... He even expects me to learn to light a goddamned wood stove like it was 1850! It was 53 in the house this morning! And so on... Some days, it's good times had by all, and sometimes by none. Today's a good day so far! Wood stove notwithstanding, I woke up to getting laid and I'm playing golf this afternoon - can't fucking argue with that!

Well, maybe KQ can...

Fire starting problem solved and tested by my wife who also was inept at fire starting. Although you can always go with my buddies neighbors old standby of kerosene. I guess after 40 years of having a wood stove for heat he didn't give a fuck.

http://www.amazon.com/Rutland-Safe-S.../dp/B00138MO16

My wife locks her keys in the car a couple times a year, loses her keys all the time (doesn't smoke weed, I put mine in the same damn place every time to avoid losing them) and treats her expensive sunglasses like trash. Also, she complains the weather app on her phone is always wrong. I ask her if she uses NOAA and she asks if they have an app. I ask her if her phone gets the internet.

[riser4]

Maybe if your wife smoked weed she would be able to find her car keys?

[The gaaping-gaper]

Oil changes are one of the biggest scams in the car industry.

3,000 miles my ass.

Toyota recommends 7K with synthetic.

I take care of it at about 13K

Truthfully with today's engines and synthetic oil you could easily go 25K without a problem.

As an engine builder I can assure you this is not the case. The oil does not break down as fast as conventional oil, but the contaminants in it are still there wearing down engine parts. Think of it like a human having bad cholesterol.
Thanks for reminding me that I'm over due to change my oil though.

To add to the thread, I was on a quad chair last weekend and my buddies wife asked why all the chairs coming down were empty. Things you can't make up.