I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

[BmillsSkier]

Is power bottom a thing?

[bagtagley]

Is power bottom a thing?

[stfu&gbtw]

The sexual tension in here between stfu and mtn girl is palpable

[iceman]

"You keep that shit forever, like luggage."

[stfu&gbtw]

"You keep that shit forever, like luggage."

nailed it.

[AK47bp]

She "loses" her phone daily freaks out and makes me call it. Oh..huh, funny, there it was on the couch, right where you were sitting with a pillow on top of it, totally not fucking lost.

Christ.

[Flyoverland Captive]

Wife: "Where's the phillips screwdriver?"
Me: "I keep one in the garage on the pegboard, one in the pantry tool drawer, and one in the greenhouse."
Wife: "I can't find any of them."
Me: "Well, where did you use them last?"
Wife: "I don't remember."
Me: "Well, that's where they are, so..."

[Meadow Skipper]

“Is the internet working for you?”
Yes, why?
“My phone keeps shutting down.”
What was the battery reading on it?
“1%”
Is it plugged in?
“Yes!”
Both ends of the cord?
“... um, I guess not.”
The internet isn’t the same as the battery or power cord.
“Oh, okay.”

I’ve quit trying to explain the difference between wi-fI and LTE.

[TheSilverSurfer]

Can you move the air purifier so it's not blowing cold air over here.

She regularly comments on how the purifier blows out cold air.

Not going to waste my time explaining that it doesn't cool the air anymore than a fan does.

[~mikey b]

We bought my 11 year old son a guitar for Xmas and he got a lot of other crap from other people. My wife put toothpaste and deodorant in his stocking to “make it fuller”.

Socks and undies? Ok fine. Toothpaste and deodorant? Yeah, he needs them, but in the xmas stocking? Sorry honey you don’t understand boys.

I think I’m going to start randomly wrapping everyday items from the store in elaborate gift boxes. She’ll be so happy when I bring home a 24 pack of TP or a box of tampons.

[Danno]

Please do this and report back.

[~mikey b]

hilarity ensues

[raisingarizona13]

Ha! I totally put some hand lotion and and a shower scrunchy in my ladies stocking to make it "fuller".

Sometimes I just look at her and think to myself "fuck I could be living in a studio apartment by myself right now." and it's not a bad thought, it's like wishful thinking.

[shroom]

i limit what goes in my wife’s stocking to items i can grab at the checkout stand. this year was chapstick, chocolate, hand warmers? gum, some fancy ass hot chocolate mix, yogurt covered pretzels, and airplane shots.

takes the thinking out of it

[~mikey b]

Buying nothing takes the thinking out of it. I bought the kid a guitar and the wife a cool piece of art to hang on the wall. That’s it. I can’t get caught up in the shopping bullshit.

[hikesalot]

My hubby got me exactly nothing. But that was based on my insistence. I bought a couple things i needed and he wrapped them from him and the kids. We've had a super busy couple months and I told him not to stress about a gift for me. I asked for him to have the kids paint tree ornaments for me if there was time, but there really wasn't. But he made breakfast this morning, played games with the kids and drove us around to look at lights tonight. Oh and took the dog on 3 walks so I could stay in the cozy warmth inside. (Below zero here today. Brrr). So I appreciate all of that. Great day had by our little fam today. I don't think he's too annoyed with me today. Ha. But u never know. He prob wanted me to walk the dog. [emoji23]

[Diamond Joe]

Wife, in complete meltdown mode, crying:
"this fucking piece of shit snow blower wont start! I tried everything! And the cord I brought out wouldn't reach so I had to drag the thing out of the shed to 'meet' (?) the cord and now its just stuck outside cause I can't get it back inside!! Why does nothing we have work??" (Snowblower is 1 year old. Proper length extension cord, in closet by front door, JUST FOR HER to not have to pull start snowblower)
Me:
"Uh, is the gas on?"
Wife:
Silence
Snowblower turning over and starting
Dial tone

[hikesalot]

R u working or what? Just wondering why she's snowblowing. [emoji6]


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[Diamond Joe]

Yes.

I'm a firefighter & work 24s. Including today on Christmas day

[hikesalot]

Yes.

I'm a firefighter & work 24s. Including today on Christmas day

Aww that stinks. Thanks for your service. Well i'm sure the snowblower situation was frustrating for the wife. I feel her pain. [emoji23]


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[Diamond Joe]

Hey, youre welcome

I mean, I understand that starting a small engine is like understanding the rules of football for the fairer sex. It's just not gonna sink in, ever, no matter how many times or different ways you try to explain it.

But come on, there are ILLUSTRATED, step-by-step instructions, on how to start the thing, on top of it

[hikesalot]

Hey, youre welcome

I mean, I understand that starting a small engine is like understanding the rules of football for the fairer sex. It's just not gonna sink in, ever, no matter how many times or different ways you try to explain it.

But come on, there are ILLUSTRATED, step-by-step instructions, on how to start the thing, on top of it

hey - I know the rules of football pretty darn well! but I do fall in the camp of not understanding engines. I just don't care enough... I just want things to work. So I would be swearing too. I have some female engineer friends who know engines quite well. That doesn't mean they like them. ha

[MakersTeleMark]

My hubby got me exactly nothing. But that was based on my insistence. I bought a couple things i needed and he wrapped them from him and the kids. We've had a super busy couple months and I told him not to stress about a gift for me. I asked for him to have the kids paint tree ornaments for me if there was time, but there really wasn't. But he made breakfast this morning, played games with the kids and drove us around to look at lights tonight. Oh and took the dog on 3 walks so I could stay in the cozy warmth inside. (Below zero here today. Brrr). So I appreciate all of that. Great day had by our little fam today. I don't think he's too annoyed with me today. Ha. But u never know. He prob wanted me to walk the dog. [emoji23]

I have a sneaky suspicion that your husband did not want you to walk the dog.

[liv2ski]

,,,,,, her snoring is such a PITA and wakes me up all night long. I need my own bedroom.

[Meanfruit]

,,,,,, her snoring is such a PITA and wakes me up all night long. I need my own bedroom.

No way. Seriously, my only complaint. I haven't had a full night's sleep in over a year. FML

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