It is within my mind that the answers finally appear. However, I push them away again as repulsive as they are. Looking around, it becomes clear though that everything is disintigrating.

I love the times, good and bad. I love the feelings that were there for the taking. It makes me look around at the word in a better way. It expands my consciousness and makes me appreciate things. Unfortunately sometimes this doesn't happen to everyone.

What is it within some people that they must take everything upon themselves. Always back into a shame cycle of their own creation to deal with not wanting to feel ok. Sometimes it is a wonderfull thing to finally cast off the mantle of unhappiness for self pride.

When you are alone and everything is quiet, what do your thoughts turn to? Whom do they think about with a tender thought? The pain that is caused by inaction has been remedied. Every minute all the good is driven out by the current, by the numbing sensibilities of the way things are. Every minute another great memory crumbles into the dustbin of rememberence. Time seems to get longer, then contract. Everything reminds you of the way things were, of the way things could have been.

Things that are said are not always true. Things that are given can be taken back.

A calm stasis of oblivious knowing before crumbling into the numbing facts of today. I write so that it can all be reconciled in my mind. I write so that everything can be made ok.

In the deepening calm I pull my cloak around me. I let the world swirl about with a reckless patience and I become a rock in the malestrom. Looking about, the memories of your life swirl in the breeze batting a familiar melody back into your world. That smell, that touch, that familiar look glistening. It becomes all too dificult and I pull up my cloak again. Sometimes it becomes necessary to wait out the peace and stride into the storm.

Thoughts of compassion, of trustfullness, or humility, thoughts of long nights, short days, and total satisfaction. "I could die right now and be happy"

Everything matters.

Everything

Hope is a great thing. Hope can be a crushing thing. If you give it your all though, nothing bad can be said. If you give everything you have, then it is all worthwhile for no man can take away your effort.

Let it be as it is then. Let life be happy, be sad, be depressed, be jubilant.
Sad times come to us all, let us forge ahead through them and come out on the other side.

I want a life with sadness for without the best of times aren't great but merely the same as before.

How can those that are always or pretend to be happy truly ever be happy? How can those that strive of no pain or sadness in their life experience the best of joy by triumphing over pain or depression, or adversity? Life isn't meant to be lived in a bubble of good happy things. It is meant to be enjoyed in all its forms good and bad.