Skiing sucks

Blurred Elevens · 11-23-2003, 01:13 AM

A little something I pulled off Epicgape..

My name is the Poet. I really enjoy the beauty of skiing. There's nothing like zipping up my fartbag and strolling down to Starbucks first thing in the morning. From there, I read the grooming report, and then hop into my Audi on the way to the mountain. After walking past all those pesky snowboarders, I hop into the gondola with my K2 fours, and my day has begun. I look down through the gondola window at the terrain park, and think, "gawd, I bet those kids are destroying their edges on those metal rails". Those kids can't even carve a turn, I'm headed to where the real men are, the groomers. As I strut my stuff on the groomers and show everyone else how a perfect PSIA turn is made, this little new school bastard rides by and shouts something like "I nailed your mom last night you Jackoff newbie gaper!". He then pulls like a corked 1260 and skis off into a cloud of white smoke. At that moment in time, I stop. I take in the scenery, adjust my gaper gap, and think, this sport has really gone to hell. I bet that kid was one of those maggot/minions!

It's time I put my foot down and go into the park. I'll show those kids up, and maybe while I'm at it, I may get an offer on my sweet jokers hat.

I can't see that punk that heckled me earlier, but I sure as hell am not going to ruin my edges on those rails, so I'll just use the transitions to them to toss some sweet spread-eagles. I ski through the park throwing down to those punks, and they are obviously jealous by their remarks like " GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE MORON!". This sport has really gone to the birds, I just don't get it. I got the skills, but I still get no respect, those shitheads can't even carve a turn. I'm so much better than them it makes me sick. I'm tired of driving out here to Colorado from Texas every year, next time me and the family are going to the beach....screw skiing!

**trainnvain** · 11-23-2003, 01:22 AM

WHY DID YOU FOLLOW ME?

AND I CAN DO A DAFFY DO-DO HEAD!!!!!!

sniff...sniff....goawayyajerkfaceloserbullyigotmor emoneysotherewhoisthetoughguynow..........

**BobMc** · 11-23-2003, 01:25 AM

And you somehow felt compelled to share these (your) ramblings with us over here?

Get a grip, messing with Epicski is so yesterday.

BobMc

**trainnvain** · 11-23-2003, 01:39 AM

Last time I checked it IS the middle of the night

or somewhere around there...

**Ferniefreeheels** · 11-23-2003, 08:53 PM

Originally posted by Blurred Elevens
A little something I pulled off Epicgape..

My name is the Poet. I really enjoy the beauty of skiing. There's nothing like zipping up my fartbag and strolling down to Starbucks first thing in the morning. From there, I read the grooming report, and then hop into my Audi on the way to the mountain. After walking past all those pesky snowboarders, I hop into the gondola with my K2 fours, and my day has begun. I look down through the gondola window at the terrain park, and think, "gawd, I bet those kids are destroying their edges on those metal rails". Those kids can't even carve a turn, I'm headed to where the real men are, the groomers. As I strut my stuff on the groomers and show everyone else how a perfect PSIA turn is made, this little new school bastard rides by and shouts something like "I nailed your mom last night you Jackoff newbie gaper!". He then pulls like a corked 1260 and skis off into a cloud of white smoke. At that moment in time, I stop. I take in the scenery, adjust my gaper gap, and think, this sport has really gone to hell. I bet that kid was one of those maggot/minions!

It's time I put my foot down and go into the park. I'll show those kids up, and maybe while I'm at it, I may get an offer on my sweet jokers hat.

I can't see that punk that heckled me earlier, but I sure as hell am not going to ruin my edges on those rails, so I'll just use the transitions to them to toss some sweet spread-eagles. I ski through the park throwing down to those punks, and they are obviously jealous by their remarks like " GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE MORON!". This sport has really gone to the birds, I just don't get it. I got the skills, but I still get no respect, those shitheads can't even carve a turn. I'm so much better than them it makes me sick. I'm tired of driving out here to Colorado from Texas every year, next time me and the family are going to the beach....screw skiing!

Is poet not one of your many alias's too? The people at Epic seem too think so!

Quote from the POET'S/BLurred 11's thread on Epic:

Hey poet, you wouldn't be that sad yet mean troll who inhabits the Powder site under about a million alias's such as Brett, Ted, TST, Blurred elevens, would you? Not only is your post stupid, but your hate for everyone evident. You need to seek counseling, soon.

I see you also drug your thread to the Powder board...Get a life!!

Blurred Elevens · 11-23-2003, 09:07 PM

Originally posted by Ferniefreeheels
Is poet not one of your many alias's too? The people at Epic seem too think so!

Quote from the POET'S/BLurred 11's thread on Epic:

Hey poet, you wouldn't be that sad yet mean troll who inhabits the Powder site under about a million alias's such as Brett, Ted, TST, Blurred elevens, would you? Not only is your post stupid, but your hate for everyone evident. You need to seek counseling, soon.

I see you also drug your thread to the Powder board...Get a life!!

I'm Blurred Elevens, not Blurred 11's moron. Since you're taking advice from those kooks, maybe you should mount a pair of freerides on some snowlerblades, wanker..

**truth** · 11-23-2003, 09:24 PM

Originally posted by Blurred Elevens
maybe you should mount a pair of freerides on some snowlerblades, wanker..

Do you know if they have skins to fit?

**phUnk** · 11-23-2003, 09:27 PM

It's so cool, being so cool.

**laseranimal** · 11-23-2003, 09:28 PM

Originally posted by truth
Do you know if they have skins to fit?

I bet they'd work better then aproach skis or whatever those things that snowboarders use

Blurred Elevens · 11-23-2003, 09:33 PM

Originally posted by truth
Do you know if they have skins to fit?

Hehe! Sounds like a good question for the Epicgapers!

**Ferniefreeheels** · 11-23-2003, 09:35 PM

Originally posted by Blurred Elevens
I'm Blurred Elevens, not Blurred 11's moron. Since you're taking advice from those kooks, maybe you should mount a pair of freerides on some snowlerblades, wanker..

....and I'm freeheels not freeride... POET!

**funkendrenchman** · 11-23-2003, 09:44 PM

Hey Brett, do you ski on Seth Pistols and wear a silver full face w/a Powder sticker on it?

Blurred Elevens · 11-23-2003, 09:55 PM

Originally posted by funkendrenchman
Hey Brett, do you ski on Seth Pistols and wear a silver full face w/a Powder sticker on it?

No. I take it you saw someone wearing that stuff at Vail this weekend, but like Particle said, as of now I'm out for the count. I shattered my collarbone about 10 days ago, and had emergency surgery about a week ago. I've been laying low recovering, and I won't ski until the weekend after turkey day at Mammoth. That reminds me, how was Vail? Was it worth riding there?

**iceman** · 11-23-2003, 10:39 PM

Originally posted by phUnk
It's so cool, being so cool.

I have nothing to add.

**funkendrenchman** · 11-23-2003, 11:13 PM

Originally posted by Blurred Elevens
No. I take it you saw someone wearing that stuff at Vail this weekend, but like Particle said, as of now I'm out for the count. I shattered my collarbone about 10 days ago, and had emergency surgery about a week ago. I've been laying low recovering, and I won't ski until the weekend after turkey day at Mammoth. That reminds me, how was Vail? Was it worth riding there?

For some reason I thought I remembered you saying your ride the Pistols and have a helmet like that... anyway, what they have open at Vail right now is ok. The mountain was empty this weekend. They have everything on skier's left of the front side open from Riva Ridge over. They'll be opening the rest of the front side Wednesday, but the crowds will arrive and tear it apart. The back bowls are completely covered and deep, but they probably won't open for another few weeks. If you know where to look, there is some real good deep snow, you just have to be careful of thin cover in the trees.

Good luck with the collarbone recovery.

Blurred Elevens · 11-23-2003, 11:16 PM

Originally posted by funkendrenchman
For some reason I thought I remembered you saying your ride the Pistols and have a helmet like that... anyway, what that have open at Vail right now is ok. They have everything on skier left of the front side open from Riva Ridge over. They'll be opening the rest of the front side Wednesday, but the crowds will arrive and tear it apart. The back bowls are completely covered and deep, but they probably won't open for another few weeks. If you know where to look, there is some real good deep snow, you just have to be careful of thin cover in the trees.

I've never ridden the Pistols, but flexing them in ski shops let me know how crazy soft they are. I bet they kick ass in untracked, but for us peasants that don't have access to a heli, they seem rather impractical. Thanks for the report on Vail, hope you had a good time.