Thanks for the advice, y'all. We definitely need to nail down what we want, and I don't expect a GC to be able to tell me exactly how much the job will cost, but I hope that he can tell me how much (approximately) his work will cost, and give me a range for the materials/cabinetry/tile. Though I'm beginning to think we won't be able to afford everything.
As for buying a different house, well, that comes with its own issues. There's the huge amount of money you lose by switching houses (commission, closing costs, new loan at higher interest rate), and the hassle of dealing with a remodel is somewhat offset by the hassle of moving (not to mention the hassle of selling, dealing with a contingent offer or bridge loan or ???). And then you are acquiring somewhat of an unknown, vs the known that you have. So, if I can afford say a $50k remodel HELOC on top of my mortgage, I don't see how I can come close to that buying and selling.
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