this made laugh out loud

[MacDaddy]

Sometimes it becomes difficult to just "let go" of old
relationships. As an example, read on about this guy
who writes to his old beloved. It will bring tears to
your eyes. This guy really understands the meaning of
true love.


Dear Terri:

I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each
other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't
wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I'd never talk
to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy
in me talking.

Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make
contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would
come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed
that. But now I see that my pride's cost me a lot of
things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I
don't care about looking bad anymore. I don't care who
makes the first move as long as one of us does. Maybe
it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our
hurt. And this is hat my heart says... "There's no one
like you, Terri."

I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman
I see, but they're not you. They're not even close.
Two weeks ago, I met this girl at the Rainbow Room and
brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt
you, but just to illustrate the depth of my
desperation. She was young, Terri, maybe 19, with
one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe
a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean,
just a perfect body. Tits you wouldn't believe and an
ass like a tortoise shell. Every man's dream, right?

But as I sat on the couch being blown by this coed, I
thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our
lives. It's all so surface. What does a perfect body
mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this
case, yes.

But you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a
better person? Does she have a better heart than my
moderately attractive Terri? I doubt it. And I'd
never really thought of that before. I don't know,
maybe I'm just growing up a little.

Later, after I'd tossed her about a quart of throat
yogurt, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so
drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless
technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but
something else. Some niggling feeling of loss. Why did
it feel so incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn't
feel the same because you weren't there, Terri, to
watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same
without you, baby. Jesus, Terri, I'm just going crazy
without you.

And everything I do just reminds me of you. Do you
remember Carol, that single mom we met at Mt. Sinai
Baptist Church? Well, she drops by last week with a
pan of lasagna. She said she figured I wasn't eating
right without a woman around. I didn't know what she
meant till later, but that's not the real story.

Anyway, we have a few glasses of wine and the next
thing you know we're fucking in our old bedroom. And
this broad's a total monster in the sack. She's
giving me everything, you know like a real woman does
when she's not hung up about God and her career and
whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden she
spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old
vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle
it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it's totally
hot, but it makes me sad too. 'Cause I can't help
thinking, "Why didn't Terri ever put the mirror on the
floor? We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years,
and we never used it as a sex aid." (Some of this I
thought about later.) You know what I mean? What
happened to our spontaneity? You get so caught up in
the routine of a marriage and you just lose sight of
each other. And then you lose yourself. That's the
saddest part of all for me. But I keep thinking we
can get it back. I know we can, because I only want
this stuff with you.

Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the
restraining order. I mean, Shannon's just a kid and
all, but she's got a pretty good head on her
shoulders. She's been a real friend to me during this
painful time. She's given me lots of good counsel
about you and about women in general. (She's pulling
for us to get back together, Terri. She really is.)

So we're drinking in the hot tub and talking about
happier times. Here's this hot girl with the same DNA
as you (although, let's face it, she got an extra
helping of the sexy gene) and all I can do is think of
how much she looks like you when you were 18. And
that just about makes me cry. And then it turns out
Shannon's really into the whole anal thing and that
gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured
you about trying it and how that probably fueled some
of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even
then, when I'm thrusting inside the steaming hot Dutch
oven of your sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is
think of you? It's true, baby. In your heart you know
it.

Don't you think we could start over? Just wipe out all
the grievances and start fresh?

I think we can. I keep thinking that I think if you'd
just try it, I wouldn't have to pressure

you so much. Because who needs all that bitterness,
Terri? It just tears us apart. And

I can't be apart from you.

Because I love you.

[funkendrenchman]

I'm sure I would lol too if I had the patience to read it.

[phUnk]

Originally posted by funkendrenchman
I'm sure I would lol too if I had the patience to read it.

Here, I'll summarize for you.

http://www.skiingismylife.com/media/rerun-caution.jpg

[MacDaddy]

Originally posted by phUnk
Here, I'll summarize for you.

http://www.skiingismylife.com/media/rerun-caution.jpg

Hey I've never seen it here...on TGR.

but I'm happy the post police are doing their thing

[Beaver]

Originally posted by phUnk
Here, I'll summarize for you.

http://www.skiingismylife.com/media/rerun-caution.jpg

Prove it, phunk.

[frozenwater]

I'll prove it.
this letter was just posted this morning

good read though

[phUnk]

Originally posted by frozenwater
I'll prove it.
this letter was just posted this morning

good read though

Suck it, Beaver.

[Honc]

I posted that letter this morning. I especially liked the part about the BJs...

[MacDaddy]

come on ladies quit your lashing

it was worth reading twice. sorry I didnt see it earlyer

this part killed me;
She was young, Terri, maybe 19, with
one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe
a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean,
just a perfect body. Tits you wouldn't believe and an
ass like a tortoise shell. Every man's dream, right?
Later, after I'd tossed her about a quart of throat
yogurt, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so
drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless
technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but
something else.

[Buzzworthy]

Originally posted by phUnk
Suck it, Beaver.

Oh Snap!

[EPSkis]

Funny shtuff...

That was my chuckle for the day - I'm ouuuuuut!

Well, it's gonna be mid 60's to lower 70's this weekend, so hopefully, this is the last weekend of golf for the season. Would you westerners point your fans EAST and turn it on HIGH please?

This 60-70 degree bullshit at the end of November is beginning to get slightly stoopid.