WWMD? GF issues

[assgasorgrass]

Alright, my GF is pretty cool, likes all the outdoor stuff I do (except hunting). She is a pretty good snowboarder (I ski) and we have a good time on the hill together. We spent both Sat and Sun on the hill together. We are going to Gooseberry for 4 days leaving Thursday night. We are finally getting some serious dumpage around here and Wednesday is the day. I am planning on taking Wed off and heading up. Last night she came home and proclaimed that she was coming up. I paused, gathered my thoughts and calmly asked if she had a friend she could board with on Wednesday. Mt. Vesuvius erupted. "What, you don't like boarding with me?!!!!!!" "No, no honey that isn't it, I love boarding with you". This is true, but quite honestly there are a few places on the hill that are killer but she doesn't like the outs. There are a couple of right hand traverses that kill her because it is heelside for her. I say ride switch, she says she can't. I explain that I plan on charging pretty hard on Wednesday, now I am not extremo dude or anything but I do spend a lot of time waiting when we board together. I try exlpaining that this is just one of those days that I want to myself and the mountain. Very heated argument ensues. I feel terrible for hurting her feelings. I said some mean things, ("Face it, you're just not as strong a boarder as I am, there are certain areas you don't like to hit, you whine, fine come along and I am going to drop you on the first run" etc.) Very bad on my part. She really doesn't like the idea of me doing activities without her. "I thought boarding was something that we did together." Well, it is but there are times when I just want to be on my own hook up with some of buds on the hill. "fine, go ski with your butt buddies". So I apologize profusely about not including her and tell her that it is going to be a great day and she needs to come on up. So, given all of this what do I do tomorrow? Board with her for a few runs and go hit the shit I want? Drop her on the first run? Board with her all day and still enjoy myself but try not to think of the lines I could be harvesting? I was envious of my buds who got some killer shots on Sunday, "dude, I was choking on the snow every other turn." I did also but not as steep and no chute skiing. BTW, she really really really hates the phrase "no friends on a pow day." I don't know how many times I heard that last night in a condescending tone WWMD?

[optics]

Paging Punani and his universally correct reccomendation.

[SPREAD EAGLE]

Explain it well now or forever lose your peace (or piece).

Jim Conway (TGR snow-safety Guru) told his wife before they were married that he would NEVER ski with her.

Hard to explain to the women. Mine gets pissed also but she also gets pissed when she can't keep up in the POW. It's nice if she has a buddy on those days.

[Viva]

Tell her that her mom is your real butt-buddy.

[lemon boy]

ahahaahahahahahah YOU'RE FUCKED!

Dude, in all seriousness if you really like this girl you'll suck it the fuck up and eat this one "giving" it to her. It is YOUR BAD for not properly preparing the groundwork for this situation. You made the bed now sleep in it. Most likely she'll give you a little leash to go "play" just a bit. Don't abuse it (oh and motorola talkabouts are your friend here).

Once this weekend is over you can start laying (gently) the groundwork for getting some of your own ski time in.

Always remember what happens when you assume.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If she tries to stop you from hunting though...you're gonna have to dump her.

[Crinkle]

leave her in your dust a few times, she'll get the point. Same thing with my wife, she liked skiing with me til it was a pow day. (but she hates pow, sometimes i wonder who she is) We dropped into back bowls on a 16" day and it took her 30 minutes to get down. I kept waiting for her (crying for all the pow turns i was missing) and eventually she just gave up and said "go on without me" And that was the last pow day i ever skied with her. There are just exceptions to the rule and on pow days its "keep up or get left behind" no matter who you are. I caught some hate for this but now we have an understanding.

[nest]

Tell her that her mom is your real butt-buddy.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

[LAN]

Spend the morning together and then part ways after a few hours together. Plan a time to meet back up once you've had a few hours to yourself.

[Tippster]

Shoot the Hostage?

[freshies]

Spend the morning together and then part ways after a few hours together. Plan a time to meet back up once you've had a few hours to yourself.

you got it backwards: tell her that first chair to noon is your time to slay it. that you can meet up and ski the scraps after noon together.

i have/had a similar situation: my GF is very outdoorsy (i refuse to date women that aren't), she loves to board (and ski), road bike and MTB, etc..... and we enjoy these things together. But on super big days, we have an understanding: i am solo first chair to noon'ish. Same goes for technical single track rides, long road rides w/big climbs, etc: there are "together days" for all these activities, and then there are "solo" days.....doesn't mean i love/apprecriate her any less, this is just something that (albiet slowly) she finally came to understand.

Good luck, and be nice and caring in your explanation of why you need to ski solo on a big day like tomorrow...then offer to meet up w/her after noon....

[bcrider]

Sorry I don’t have any GF advice to offer but I had to give you props on this.

There are a couple of right hand traverses that kill her because it is heelside for her. I say ride switch,

For the whining snowboarders out there…take note of this method for traversing.
It works well.

[assgasorgrass]

Sorry I don’t have any GF advice to offer but I had to give you props on this.



For the whining snowboarders out there…take note of this method for traversing.
It works well.

Any tips you could give that I could pass along for accomplishing riding switch?

Thanks for all the suggestions. Trip report on Thursday. It is going to be DEEP

[bcrider]

Have her practice riding switch on the groomers, both flat and steep ones. Once she learns how to link turns on the groomers she can then try it in more variable snow and powder. Eventually she’ll get more confidence and will be ready to try it on traverses.

good luck.

[diskoskeegrl]

First, apologize! Second, apply stokage.You should try to get her excited about how much fun she will have. Tell her that she is going to kill it and she will. Confidence is key for us girls to have a good time. If you are immediately condescending/doubtful and say that she won't be able to keep up or have fun, of course she is going to get defensive.

I'm the same way. I was really nervous for my first pow day and so was MildBill (although he would never tell me that). Instead of telling me that I 'wasn't going to be able to keep up the pace' and that he has 'no friends on pow day', he got me stoked on how much fun it would be and really stroked my ski ego so that I would be super high confidence going into it, regardless of my nerves. I think that the combination of the confidence boost and him sacrificing a little bit by not going super fast, but still keeping a good pace and encouraging me to do the same, really made the first pow day a success. Now we both know that I can keep up and there isn't a 'domestic' everytime a pow day rolls around. She might love it or she might hate it, but at least she'll realize that she either can or cannot keep up with you. If she can keep up, that means tons more fun ahead for you guys. If she realizes she can't keep up, she'll probably let you go enjoy your powder without a fight, knowing that she would be miserable trying to keep up with you.

Review: Say Sorry, Get her stoked/confident, sacrifice a little to accomodate her (not so much that it ruins your day and/or creates an unrealistic idea of what a pow day with you is like), have make-up sex!!!!!! yay!

[extreeski]

you got it backwards: tell her that first chair to noon is your time to slay it. that you can meet up and ski the scraps after noon together.

When i am skiing with my fiance' we have the same agreement. Although she still grumbles a lot. so its not technically an agreement. But I've told her how I feel and that's the important thing. to lay your cards out on the table.Because I haven't been skiing in the pnw this weekend, I told her I'd be going to Crystal alone. And there'd be no way she'd be able to stop me. She's got work to do so I am not getting in the way of that. I empathize with you.

[shirk]

...blah blah blah..... have make-up sex!!!!!! yay!

Small tiffs with the GF are worth it for quality make up sex. That chit rocks!

[Lurch]

She sounds clingy and is in to boarding more as a way to be with you then anything else. You have to slowly work up to the I ski alone on pow days or date more independent girls.

[altagirl]

I don't get this on her part. Generally Mr.AG and I like skiing the same stuff, but when I can't (injury) or just plain don't want to ski where or at the speed Mr.AG is going to want to ski - we do our own thing and meet up later. How hard is that? But then again, if I feel like I'm holding people up, then I'd rather be by myself, unless we're specifically out working on something and I know that's going to be okay ahead of time (and it's not a powder day, for christ's sake...) Maybe that's just me, but then again, I don't mind skiing alone either.

And good grief - you split up in the MORNING, not the afternoon.

Apologize for being mean, but if she can't understand why you want more laps in powder, I don't know what there is to say. Maybe offer to buy her a lesson on the next pow day so she can improve and you'll both enjoy pow days together in the future?

[diskoskeegrl]

You obviously like her if you actually acknowledge this situation as something to think about. If you bring her out with you on Weds, there is the potential to never have this argument again. Either it works or it doesn't and for future situations like this, you'll be able to use this 'test', if you will, as a precedent. Its worth the one experimental pow day with her to avoid the same fight ad nauseam.

Moreover, how will she ever get good enough to ski with you on pow days if you never give her the chance to go with you?

[assgasorgrass]

clarification: she loves the pow, likes the trees but not too tight, she doesn't like some of the long outs, cat tracks or traverses. she is a trooper being she is a two time loser on the left ACL, along with microfracture surgery I like the idea of splitting in the morning and hooking back up noonish. I'll give that a whirl. I also like the suggestion of positive reinforcement. Will definitely be doing that tonight, I'll wax her board, waxing eloquently about killing it tomorrow. I wouldn't be suprised if she sucks it up and tries to hang all day.

[nopainnojane]

What works for my wife and I is the we will ride the same chair, she lets me take my run, she takes the one she likes, and we meet back up at the bottome. Alternate this with skiing the same run together and it all works out.

We I first met her, she could barely ski a green run, now, she loves to hit up powder and trees, although slower than me. She understands my need to ski more difficult lines than her, and gives me the chance to do so.

[altachic]

When i know DTM will be charging in the pow or with his buddies, I am totally fine seeing him in line, at the bottom, wherever. We take a couple runs every now and again on days like that. I always find other people to ski with or i can ski alone if i want, it's great.

If you can agree on this and make sure to ski a couple runs with her, i see no problem...then again, it's just understood that this is how it goes between us and i love it.

[Big Blue]

What works for my wife and I is the we will ride the same chair, she lets me take my run, she takes the one she likes, and we meet back up at the bottom.

Which sounds perfect in this situation since you're planning on taking long traverses that will increase the time of your laps. If she skis at a moderate pace down a close run and you ski fast down a run with a long traverse out/back then you should be doing laps that take about the same amount of time. Get talkabouts or other FRS radios if you don't already have them.

[dude_le_skibum]

Shoot the Hostage?

i knew i was too late...