I posted a few years ago about the start of some serious back problems I was having. (thread here) Along with the back, I was having tons of other medical issues at the time and had been given several different and quite serious diagnoses by a multitude of specialists both in Germany and in the US. My family and I moved back to the US last year because the Germans had given up on me. I had been relegated to the status of a chronic pain patient whom they could not help, and would be "living" on Narcotics and PT for the rest of my life.
I visited a couple of pain clinics in Anchorage, AK early in 2013, and just had pills thrown at me. I ended up in the ER because of impacted bowels from all of the pills they had me on, which was actually quite serious. I fired that doc, went to a different back / spine / pain clinic and was given a ton of shit about shopping around for drugs. I had a reference from a well-known person in Anchorage, however, so this doc sat down and listened to my story. I wanted nothing to do with pain pills and wanted to tackle whatever was going on as natural as possible. Three appointments later, this guy said he could do nothing for me. I was going downhill very, very fast.
About three months ago, I noticed rapid deterioration at the roots of all my teeth. I went into the dentist and was told only three things cause that type of decay: meth, diet soda, and gum disease. I told him I used to chew tobacco and he said that my teeth, despite that bad habit, were really nice with little decay - except all the root rot that was starting to show from under the receding gums (no gum disease, though). He said it had to be diet soda, which I haven't had a sip of in over four years. I was looking at a bill of tens of thousands of dollars. Our insurance covers 500 bucks/year. It's the "good" plan, too…...
So, I did some research. As I read and read and read, everything fell into place. I made an appointment with a local clinic and told them I wanted an ELISA and Western Blot blood test done. I could barely walk or talk (wife drove me) when I went in and even suffered a mild seizure while in the clinic. They thought I was crazy thinking it was Lyme. Said I was way too sick for it to be Lyme, then they admitted they knew nothing about it. Five days later, the sheepishly called me and told me both tests came back highly positive.
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Since the diagnosis, I've been trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together. For as long as I can remember, I have suffered from maladies that doctors could not diagnose or explain. I can not remember one day of my life waking up and thinking, "you know, I feel good today!". Not one. But, that was normality to me. I don't know any better. It's all relative, good and bad, right?
I have to start wrapping this up, as I'm losing my ability to use my arms and my head is fogging up. Almost like a slow stroke on the whole left side of my body…..
I had a dream about two weeks ago. I was 10 years old, it was the end of summer just before school was to begin. I had on these super ugly bermuda shorts that were in style that year ('85). They were those stupid knee-length loud colored shorts, you know, the perfect shorts where ticks could hide up one of the legs and not be detected for a while. Anyway, in the dream, I was sitting on our living room floor, lifted up the left short leg a bit, and saw big, red, bullseye rash on my inner thigh.
I wake up with the realization that this was a distinct recovered memory. This was the feeling I had before I did any analyzing of what happened. I called my dad the next day and asked him about any rash I might have had when I was that age in that house and if he was on the floor looking at it with me. He stopped me as I was describing the scene and said, "yeah, we put some cream on it and it went away a week later".
I then called my mom (they've been divorced for 25 years). Same story. They both remembered the scene as I described it perfectly. Both remembered the rash. At the time, the diagnosis was Ringworm. It was 1985 and Oregon, so hard to blame the docs back then I guess….. Easy to blame all the docs since that missed this, though, especially when so many told you everything was in your head and that you were just depressed. Fuck them.
I've been sick for 30 years. Thirty fucking years. The fatigue and flu-like symptoms started when I was 10, the arthritis at age 11. My junior high and high school years, where I always played three sports, were spent mainly in the trainer's room getting taped or ice or heat. The Lyme, and all the related co-infections I have, have invaded every single part of my body now. The physical decay from Lyme (basically, very rapid aging) was bad. The neurological symptoms of Lyme that have exponentially become worse over the past few years? Horrible.
Nearly every person I've told that I have Lyme has the same response: "It's gotta feel good to have an answer finally! So, how long until you'll be better? Just a few weeks of antibiotics, right?"
I can't blame the ignorance. I knew just as little a few short months ago. Thing is, I will never get entirely better. Way too much physical damage has been done, and for someone that has gone undiagnosed as long as me, getting rid of the bacteria will be nearly impossible. My main goal right now is just recovering a little lost energy. 85% of my time over the past few months has been spent on my back in bed. Today is the first day I've been up and able to type in weeks. Good start to 2014, perhaps
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Sorry to slap this up here on New Years Day. Honestly, I haven't given a shit about a birthday or a holiday in over a decade. It happens to those of us with Lyme. I just want to bring some awareness to this issue. I can't believe that there haven't been any discussion on Lyme on this forum, especially with all the time you people spend outside! Research is starting to find that many ailments and conditions may in fact be caused by invasive bacteria like Lyme. Stuff like Fibro, MS, ALS, CFS, etc…. Sure turned out to be the case for me.
Here is a good site to look at for Lyme. Lots of controversy (of course - lucky me) surrounding this whole disease, too. Ughhh, I just want to ski again…. I have been working on that in my dreams, though. Perhaps it's why I had the dream I had. Hey, I like to travel. I can't do that physically any longer, so… I'll post more on that someday when I have more energy.
Here's that Lyme Site: http://www.ilads.org
PS - if any of you ever get up to Hatcher Pass in Alaska to ski or go sledding, give me a holler. I CAN see it from my front porch!![]()
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