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Thread: I hate:

  1. 03-21-2005, 03:46 PM #1
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    I hate:

    I hate that the UPS route I'm on arrives at our house at the very end of the fucking day! It is so madening to see that my package has been on the truck since exactly 5:00AM today and likely won't arrive till after 5 or 6pm! ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

    Bring me my shit motherfuckers!

    Gots some diaphram calls (for wooing male turkeys) and a "hearing aide" for my old man ears. Arrive Bitch!
    "It is not the result that counts! It is not the result but the spirit! Not what - but how. Not what has been attained - but at what price.
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  2. 03-21-2005, 03:57 PM #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by lemon boy
    IGots some diaphram calls (for wooing male turkeys) and a "hearing aide" for my old man ears.


    You call turkeys with one of these?
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  3. 03-21-2005, 03:59 PM #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buster Highmen


    You call turkeys with one of these?
    No, that's to help with his ol' man's hearing.
    Your dog just ate an avocado!
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  4. 03-21-2005, 04:01 PM #4
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    Yeah,

    you put it in your mouth and rest your tounge up against it and by blowing air past it, it makes the sounds of a hen turkey.

    Just make sure to buy new ones cause the wife gets PISSED if hers come back with bark and dirt and whatnot on it. Plus that spermicidal jelly shit tastes horrible.
    "It is not the result that counts! It is not the result but the spirit! Not what - but how. Not what has been attained - but at what price.
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  5. 03-21-2005, 04:01 PM #5
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    Eh what???
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  6. 03-21-2005, 04:02 PM #6
    Aldo
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    So you're one of those people who checks their mailbox first thing in the morning. Hey, at least you've got all day to compose your letters.
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  7. 03-21-2005, 04:02 PM #7
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    Until five o'clock he has to coat himself in Pam cooking spray, roll around in a trough of millet and coo seductively to attract male turkeys.
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  8. 03-21-2005, 04:03 PM #8
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    I feel your pain. I bought a rear disc hub off ebay and it was shipped out last week, due to hit Blase` 3/21 according the tracking number. Check out the UPS site this morning and get this message: "Exception: can't verify address sending recipient postcard asking for clarification". WTF? If they can't verify my addy then how in the hell are they going to get a postcard to me? I drive down to the UPS service center, they pull my info up and give me the package. I asked them how they were going to get me the postcard. It was explained to me that they contact USPS and work with the carriers to figure it out. How long was that going to take. I want my wheels built before I head to Gooseberry. The ebay seller put the wrong street, 120th instead of 20th. End of rant, it wasn't Brown's fault, it was the shipper's, I just thought the postcard thing was crazy.
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  9. 03-21-2005, 04:15 PM #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by bad_roo
    Until five o'clock he has to coat himself in Pam cooking spray, roll around in a trough of millet and coo seductively to attract male turkeys.
    Heh, try that in Castro and you're sure to attract more than just turkeys
    Your dog just ate an avocado!
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  10. 03-21-2005, 07:14 PM #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by bad_roo
    Until five o'clock he has to coat himself in Pam cooking spray, roll around in a trough of millet and coo seductively to attract male turkeys.
    I don't know why I haven't learned to swallow what I'm drinking before reading your posts yet.
    "Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, "Wow, what a Ride!"
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  11. 03-21-2005, 07:17 PM #11
    splat
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    Quote Originally Posted by lemon boy
    Yeah,

    you put it in your mouth and rest your tounge up against it and by blowing air past it, it makes the sounds of a hen turkey.
    So what - you wait until the male turkey humps your face and shoot him?
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  12. 03-21-2005, 07:52 PM #12
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    We're at the very end of the route too. Annoying at best.
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  13. 03-21-2005, 10:29 PM #13
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    Dude we were down in Zion N.P. a couple weeks ago and there were turkeys all over the place! Just make a drive out there and you won't have to worry about luring them in or anything. I'm sure the Rangers won't mind...
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  14. 03-21-2005, 11:06 PM #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by splat
    So what - you wait until the male turkey humps your face and shoot him?
    Plus, you can shoot as much as you want and nobody gets pregnant.




















    (Sorry.)
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  15. 03-21-2005, 11:10 PM #15
    splat
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    You'd think there was a limit.
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  16. 03-21-2005, 11:48 PM #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by bad_roo
    he has to coat himself in Pam cooking spray, roll around in a trough of millet and coo seductively to attract male turkeys.
    All he needs is a roofie and a six pack of Coors Light in LoDo on a Friday night.
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  17. 03-22-2005, 06:41 AM #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by lemon boy

    Gots some diaphram calls (for wooing male turkeys) and a "hearing aide"
    spring for the penis pump and fleshlight
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