Coon Huntin'

[concretejungle]

fix your trashcans so they can't get into then and they'll go away. stop giving them an easy meal.

Woah, woah, woah. You want him to not be a stupid fuck? I'm always amazed how quick people go to extremes instead of fixing the actual problem which is that your trash is unsecured.

[Hugh Conway]

Anonymous? Are you going to wear a mask when you blow me from now on?

You want to switch roles now?

[Steven S. Dallas]

Living as I do on the other side of said park, I wouldn't go busting off rounds at animals- even if they're just BBs and the animals are being a nuisance. First, I'm pretty sure air guns are illegal in SF, or at least require a license; second, people here are pretty aggressive in policing their local areas. In all honesty, as someone who uses that park daily and often with a small child in tow, I'd be pretty down on anyone I saw shooting a rifle out their window and might in fact endeavor to get the authorities involved. Yeah, it's 3 a.m., there's nobody around, whatever; I don't think there's an okay time of day to be shooting guns in an urban park and if it can kill a raccoon then it can probably kill a person.

There are assloads of raccoons around our house back east, bungee cords have kept them out of the garbage just fine.

[RockChalk]

I feel like a trap would get noticed by groundskeepers/property management and Im fairly positive they would not be stoked. .22 will be WAY to loud and probably result in me getting arrested. Gutshot FTW with a maul finisher?

No visits last night, I was lying in wait for the bastards.

[iceman]

How many raccoons is an assload? I'd think one good-sezed one would do it, but perhaps we need input from Hugh and Irul before we go off half-cocked here.

[RockChalk]

Woah, woah, woah. You want him to not be a stupid fuck? I'm always amazed how quick people go to extremes instead of fixing the actual problem which is that your trash is unsecured.

You've clearly never worn a homemade coon skin cap whilst skiing, toasty warm and fashionable to boot.

[Steven S. Dallas]

How many raccoons is an assload?

One assload of raccoons = one half-face cord of split firewod.

[iceman]

Who is the raccoon's friend?

[irul&ublo]

You've clearly never worn a homemade coon skin cap whilst skiing, toasty warm and fashionable to boot.

Not politically correct:

[DeathVan]

Dressing up like a coon and making friends could go along way to solving both of your problems.



Once you know the coon and have walked a mile in his paws,
you may gain an understanding of the trials and tribulations that a coon's life is fraught with.

Coon's (like all living beings) get hungry, and as you may conveniently stroll down to the local noshery and purchase a lovely pastrami sandwich, replete with wondrous kosher dill, a coon cannot experience that luxury which you take so for granted without being subject to harsh stares and the the sting of unfair and biting epithets.

The coon has been labeled a bandit and a ne'er-do-well. While you flit along in life, atop your murdered out fixie, with your only fear being how the wind is effecting your ironicly styled bare knuckler mustache, a coon has no such ease. He must fight every day to keep his beloved family alive in this ever-increasingly gentrified world. His once vibrant neighborhood has been overrun by your ilk and the fields, forests and shacks of his youth are now just a concrete jungle of cars and row houses he'll never be able to afford. A maze of streets lined with cans full of sweet discarded partially consumed delicacies, of which he is woefully ignorant of the properly tined fork to employ in eating, despite his famed fastidiousness.

Where is his Martin Luther Coon?

[iceman]

Where is his Martin Luther Coon?

I am simply. not. going. there.

[Steven S. Dallas]

Where is his Martin Luther Coon?

You should ask this question on the National Brotherhood of Skiers forum, see what type of responses you get.

[DeathVan]

It was a joke, a bad one.

I will go die now.

[iceman]

It was a joke, a bad one.

I will go die now.

On the other hand, up until then it was pretty good.

[userA]

they don't like water very much

[RockChalk]

Blurred's garden hose?

[Hugh Conway]

garden hose + irul = wet t-shirt contest. charge admission

[userA]

Blurred's garden hose?

well if it will extenz long enough

[Dhelihiker]

#1 The Presidio is federal land and I would be very leary of killing or trapping any animals.

#2 Cut off the food source, the're just hungry. Its no reason to kill 'em.

#3 Paintball guns are a blast, Lake Pend O'reille has a few yellow coons thanks to me.

[grubbers]

Get yourself a monkey.

[guroo270]

Whenever we get racoons on our porch Momma just chases them off with a broom.

[Jer]

Rock - just kill yourself. Kill yourself = no more problems.

How about using your superior human brain to coon-proof your garbage cans?

No way. That make way too much sense. Far better to shoot them all with a faggot BB gun. And by "all" I mean 10,000. You will never kill them all. The one you shoot with a faggot BB gun will be replaced by three more with worse attituides.

Ice - distemper is far more prevailant among raccoons. I could never figure out why so many dumbasses think every raccoon they see is rabid and IS GOING TO KILL THEIR MIDDLE-CLASS
BABIES!!!!

Seriously - If I can bear-proof my garbage I'm sure a reeely smart guy like Rockchalk can raccoon-proof his. I still think suicide is the only viable option tho.

[concretejungle]

KU edumacation.

[RockChalk]

Yes, I actually failed coon-proofing 101. Missed the drop period by two days, really tanked my GPA.

[RockChalk]

Wait, there are only 10,000 coons left?

Call teh EPA, full protection for teh coonz

Jer, when exactly would you say you took the turn to full retard?