"What are the economics surrounding that?" and other fucktard bizspeak

[that dude who did that thing]

funny, splat. A big bowl of Xanax in the break room would be an excellent idea in a lot of workplaces I've seen.

[BraddA]

Functionality might be my most-despised word of all time.

[GeezerSteve]

Impact is a good one. * * * I blame the military for this.

I first heard the word impact as a substitute for affect (verb) and for effect (noun) in education circles in the early 1980s. My theory is that most people have trouble with the distinction between affect and effect, and thus adopted impact for both. The classic way of teaching the distinction between the two standard English terms was to observe that "When you affect a situation, you have an effect on it." Now, the dumbshits, i.e., 95% of Americans, would say, "When you impact a situation, you have an impact on it."

I have only one bigger bad usage pet peeve: the inability of people to distinguish jealousy from envy. That's for another thread, another day.

[MMP]

"takeaways"

while an excellent way to signal you want a meeting to end.... "so, what are our takeaways?" It always strikes me as douchy (even when i say it)

[Downbound Train]

Reach out

Beat me to it.

"At the end of the day", That's the WORST!

[danimal's dead]

Dynamics
Metrics (don't you mean numbers?)
Goal/Results Oriented
Multi Level Marketing Approach (you mean Pyramid scheme, right)
Historical
Market Driven

[Crusty]

Why don't you guys quit your shitty ass jobs? Life is too short.

Sounds like somebody has a case of the Mondays.......

[Mazderati]

^ That post's a winner.

Meetings: Where minutes are taken and hours are lost.

Downloading the bingo chart for future use.

[huckbucket]

Our word ninja SVP of Operations laid this shit down the other day ...

"Now that we're in alignment with regard to the goals of the project, please elaborate on the stretch objectives."

Pretty sure that he sits up at night thinking of clever acronyms and metaphors. Fuckin' tool.

[Like a Boss]

Is this thread really going to move the needle?

If not, let's table this discussion.

[shroom]

I don't think that's really in scope for this thread.

I also can't stand the word 'process' or the phrase 'in terms of'.

[Hugh Conway]

How about business oxymorons?

My favorite is "kaizen blitz". Yes, kaizen (Japanese continuous process improvement) done in a day! Then forgotten

[OldLarry]

Can we get a little more granularity surrounding the knock on effects of this impactful thread with regards to marketability?

[mud]

We expect the IPO to reaccelerate.

[OldLarry]

We expect the IPO to reaccelerate.

That you Zuck?

[khakis]

I think "in the weeds" is the one I most despise right now. As in,"I think we're getting too deep in the weeds on this matter" i.e. I don't understand the details and like to pretend that I'm important enough that I don't have to

Also all acronyms, my new company is polluted with them

[systemoverblow'd]

I think "in the weeds" is the one I most despise right now. As in,"I think we're getting too deep in the weeds on this matter" i.e. I don't understand the details and like to pretend that I'm important enough that I don't have to

Also all acronyms, my new company is polluted with them

When used correctly (I'm fucking slammed) it is appropriate.

[mud]

That you Zuck?

CNBC was quarterbacking some good ones this morning.

[khakis]

When used correctly (I'm fucking slammed) it is appropriate.

no, it's a dumb metaphor. "in (great) detail" is a more clear and concise way to make the same point

Edit: wait it's also used to mean "I'm really busy"? Yeah thats dumb too

[bagtagley]

When used correctly (I'm fucking slammed) it is appropriate.

Corporate douches taking and ruining a perfectly good restaurant saying.

[Hott Butt Mud]

Can we get a little more granularity surrounding the knock on effects of this impactful thread with regards to marketability?

Sir, we need to align our strategic goals of this thread with the posts in order to ensure that the posts reflect the goals through specific objectives, actions and tactics.

[systemoverblow'd]

no, it's a dumb metaphor. "in (great) detail" is a more clear and concise way to make the same point

No, like I said, your douchepeople don't use the term correctly. When used in the food industry, being "in the weeds" is being backed up with tons of tickets, lots of food to go out to tables, drink tickets waiting, customers waiting, etc. See bagtagley's post quoted below.

Corporate douches taking and ruining a perfectly good restaurant saying.

truth.

[OldLarry]

No, like I said, your douchepeople don't use the term correctly. When used in the food industry, being "in the weeds" is being backed up with tons of tickets, lots of food to go out to tables, drink tickets waiting, customers waiting, etc. See bagtagley's post quoted below.



truth.

what if it's a corporate restaurant? : flair :

[systemoverblow'd]

what if it's a corporate restaurant? : flair :

1%ers can wait for their damn drinks.

[phishstx]

Color.

I hate the word color, as in:

Could you provide us with a bit more color around your Q3 forecasts?

FUCK YOU!

Agreed, hate when color is used like that. Also "headwinds."