Precious Moments

[schuss]

Random SF Moment:
Dude is SCREAMING down on Haight (I live about a block away) about random shit and the following exchange occurs

Random Person: Shut up!
Screamer: FUCK YOU!
Random Person: SERIOUSLY SHUT UP!
Screamer: DO YOU KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM!?!?!
Random Person #2: Who are you?
Screamer: I DON'T KNOW!


Ahhhhh, precious moments. Share your own if you have them.

[stfu&gbtw]

Sandusky: You're not going to tell anybody about this, are you?

Paterno: Nope.

[Kied]

Ha! Sounds about right for the Haight. Plenty of nut jobs there and the only place I've ever been fucked with in SF.

[Benny Profane]

Woman is practically shouting on her cell on a treadmill five feet from me as I'm stretching in the gym. I rarely do this, but I signal to her to lower her voice. "Mind your own business!", she immediately shouts back. "But, that's what I'm trying to do", I tell her. A stunned look on her face for three seconds, and, she shouts again, "Mind your own business!".

[systemoverblow'd]

The local town drunks playng wiffleball in the alley behind my old apartment. Just before this there was a dude missing a leg with crutches batting but I missed it when I went to grab my camera.


Saw this in a bin of ice and bottled water at a Dunkin Donuts in Harvard square.

[OldLarry]

About 8 years ago:

I am a new father, completely stressed out and sleep deprived, looking for Aquaphor (which I can't even spell yet) in the CVS at 90th and 3rd, around 10 PM.

Large African American woman screams into her cell phone:

"PUT YOU SISTER ON THE PHONE!"
<PAUSE>
"WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THAT?!?! WHEN I GET HOME, i AM GOING TO BEAT YOU 'TILL CHILD SERVICES COMES!"

I stand there with another dude, completely shell shocked. Lady notices us, laughs, puts the phone to her ample bosom and says

"Not really Honey. I'm just playin'!" and cracks up again.

[jfost]

Walking from the HUB to the IMA to play raquetball with my buddy and we pass by the powerplant where they have a window display of an old steam engine/plant. We stop to check it out and soon realize there are 3 of us looking in the window...

RANDOM HOBO: "Do you know what you're dealing with there man?"

US: "uhhhhhh, no."

RANDOM: "you could cut a man in half with all that steam!" <loud cackling laughter>

US: "ok, bye."

[MotherFucker]

Ha, just a few weeks ago my wife and I had to buy like $300 worth of groceries since she was going to be out of commission for like three weeks. We were walking out of the store with two carts filled to the fucking brim with food. As I walk up to my car, I hear this dude throwing a goddamn fit about not being able to visit anywhere without getting looked at like he's about to steal something and how they couldn't afford diapers so he needed to go steal some. I kind of chuckled (sorrily) and started putting my shit away in the trunk.

Next thing I know, this dude is yelling "hey man, hey man." I look over at him and he goes "yo, how many coupons you use to get all that food? was they all on sale? can i get some food?" but with a shit eating grin on his face, totally trying to impress his fat white baby momma.

I told him to fuck off and to youtube haters if he even had a fucking internet connection and said good luck with your kid. Dude yells back "ain't even mine homie." My wife and I just busted out laughing as they drove away flicking us off.

Something tells me they've already seen "haters" and was all butthurt I referred them to it.

[hawkgt]

Orlando airport on a weekday morning after a small trade show quite a few months ago. Sitting at the bar drinking my bloody mary and shooting the shit with 3 guys a few chairs down about their impending golf trip to TX. They were hitting it hard with shots and beers but to be expected when your on the way out to a golf vaca....

I felt a presence beside me and in the most lovely, grandmother voice I hear.... "Bartender.... double tequila with water chaser! please"

All of us at the bar snapped our heads around to view this event as the bar tender jaw drops he works on the shot and water. A quick "Pass the salt please" and she proceeds to lick the salt and shoot the shot in one blurr of a motion. A little sip of water, wipe of the lips and she is on her way to bag claim as she just got off a flight.

Most surreal drinking moment of my entire life......

[jfost]

... A quick "Pass the salt please" and she proceeds to lick the salt and shoot the shot in one blurr of a motion. ...

fuck, didja get her number - that'd be THE one from the "grandma" category for sure!

[Name Redacted]

I'm in the King Soopers off Colfax. Just trying to buy a pack of smokes. Lady in front of me in line as two kids and the little boy is carrying a basket with nothing in it. His sister tries to grab it from him and he accidentally hits the lady in front of him in the shin. She slaps the kid pretty hard. Both ladies start yelling at each other. The mother is pretty large and is about to beat the shit out of the lady that slapped her kid until the other lady pulls out a gun and starts waving it around. I walked out without paying for the smokes as I figured that security would have their hands full for a while.

[TBS]

A lovely wedding reception

[Benny Profane]

Sometimes people look really funny when they get tazed.

[Oarhead]

I was walking to work yesterday. Downtown by a park there is a senior home. As I am walking by at about 6:45am a pick up pulls up in front of the home and a man gets out of it. He was about early 50's, had a gut and grey hair. He was wearing old board shorts and one shoe. That's it. He walked inside like it was just any other day.

I still want to know what the back story is.

[jfost]

I was walking to work yesterday. Downtown by a park there is a senior home. As I am walking by at about 6:45am a pick up pulls up in front of the home and a man gets out of it. He was about early 50's, had a gut and grey hair. He was wearing old board shorts and one shoe. That's it. He walked inside like it was just any other day.

I still want to know what the back story is.

walk of shame? are there any senior frat houses nearby?

[Chainsaw_Willie]

Go to Dick's burgers in the U-district on a Friday or Saturday night around 12:30 - 1am. The parking lot at that time seems to be a popular place for drunken frat boys to punch each other in the face.