How come everyone who does the snow report in the morning is so danged happy? If I had to get up at 5:15 every morning, it would sound something like this. (Caution: bad language.)
"Yeah. Um, good morning, it's 5:30 and I really hope you appreciate this fucking snow report because my eyes are still stuck shut and my mouth tastes like an ashtray. What the fuck hill is this again? Kirkwood. Thanks for calling Kirkwood. Todays weather update is...OW FUCK SHIT I just stubbed my toe on the doorframe OH JESUS ow ow ow... OK, there's an 80% chance of timeshares today, seriously, it's fucking dark and all I can see out my window is condos, how the hell am I supposed to know what the weather is on the hill? All we do is pull up Yahoo weather and call 427-ROAD and read it back to you anyway. You can do that yourself, fuck you, I'm going back to sleep. Try not to drive off the road."
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