Flatulence in a relationship.

**freezorburn** · 10-19-2011, 02:57 PM

Dear TRG,

"I have a friend" how has been dating this girl for a close to year now. He has come across several situations when flatulence would have brought humour, joy or just lightened the mood. However he has refrained from this in fear of her utter disgust.

At what point in the relationship is it acceptable to fart?

And more to the point at what point can you just full on Dutch Oven her?

**iscariot** · 10-19-2011, 03:01 PM

Sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of my girlfriend farting.

**ill-advised strategy** · 10-19-2011, 03:15 PM

I guess you have to ask yourselves whether you're attracted to people or some sanitized, edited image of people. Because people contain shit, farts, piss, puke, blood, and mucous...at all times.

I guess what I'm saying is that if she can't handle a fart, what's she going to do if you find out you have ulcerative colitis 10 years from now.

**DeathVan** · 10-19-2011, 03:30 PM

My Mom call them "Air-Poops" (she claims to have never "farted")
perhaps the name change could change the objectionable component "your friend" is dealing with.

that or slip some ex-lax into her coffee, then it was her who broke the no-farting covenant and everyone can carry on and live a full life (a part of which involves the frequent breaking of wind)

**iscariot** · 10-19-2011, 03:31 PM

http://www.heptune.com/farts.html

Facts on Farts.

Why do farts make noise?
The sounds are produced by vibrations of the anal opening. Sounds depend on the velocity of expulsion of the gas and the tightness of the sphincter muscles of the anus. Contrary to a popular misconception, fart noise is not generated by the flapping of the butt cheeks. You can see proof of this in the close-up video footage of Carl Plant's fart on Mate-in-a-State.

...

How much gas does a normal person pass per day?
On average, a person produces about half a liter of fart gas per day, distributed over an average of about fourteen daily farts.
Whereas it may be difficult for you to determine your daily flatus volume, you can certainly keep track of your daily numerical fart count. You might try this as a science fair project: Keep a journal of everything you eat and a count of your farts. You might make a note of the potency of their odor as well. See if you can discover a relationship between what you eat, how much you fart, and how much they smell.

...

Why do farts come out of your butt?
The butt is the location of the anus in humans, and by definition, a fart is an anal escape of intestinal gas. We should be grateful that we are not crinoids. The crinoid is a marine creature with a U-shaped gut, and its anus is located next to its mouth.

...

Is it true that some people never fart?
No, not if they're alive. People even fart shortly after death.

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Do men fart more than women?
No, women fart just as much as men. It's just that most men take more pride in it than most women. There is a large variation among individuals in the amount of fart gas produced per day, but the variation does not correlate with gender.
I have read that men fart more often than women. If this is true, then women must be saving it up and expelling more gas per fart than men do.

...

Do men's farts smell worse than women's farts?
Based on what I have experienced of women's farts, all I can say is that I hope not. Scientific studies of farts show that women's farts have a higher concentration of odor-causing gases than men's farts, but men's farts have a larger volume. The two factors equalize out (the same number of stench molecules for both), so the odor is about the same.

...

Is it harmful to hold in farts?
There are differences in opinion on this one. Certainly, people have believed for centuries that retaining flatus is bad for the health. Emperor Claudius even passed a law legalizing farting at banquets out of concern for people's health. There was a widespread belief that a person could be poisoned or catch a disease by retaining farts.
Doctors I have spoken to recently have told me that there is no particular harm in holding in farts. Farts will not poison you; they are a natural component of your intestinal contents. The worst thing that can happen is that you may get a stomach ache from the gas pressure. But one doctor suggested that pathological distention of the bowel could result if a person holds in farts too much. And Dr. P. said that the effort involved in retaining flatus can cause hemorrhoids.

**iscariot** · 10-19-2011, 03:40 PM

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/AS...commendedrea06

Who Cut the Cheese?: A Cultural History of the Fart
By Jim Dawson

**2nd mate** · 10-19-2011, 05:05 PM

my hypothesis is that there is a direct relation between amount of sex and uninhibited gas release in relationships.....once you both start letting them fly the amount of sex goes down...unless you are into that whole tossing salad and hot lunch scene...or my favorite, the CLEVELAND STEAMER! Its a sailor thing.