How much do you make while pooping?

[The AD]

$1.08/min? Damn, I want your job while pooping.

Yes, that's great poop pay.

[Keoni]

If you get paid to give colonics, it's just not quite the same.

[onehotchili]

this is a definitely a pretty funny thread. i guess i did $7.60 for a 10 minute grumper while reading the manual to my new digital camera. i never thought about in that way....

i would just hate to figure out the amount i get paid while reading threads about people's pooping rate etc.

[Endlessseason]

That is why I keep a pack of these around:

I can almost do Mcwop one better. I had to go in for emergency surgery a couple years ago due to a volvulus of the colon. The problem with this isn't too much pooping, but too little. Here's a nice illustration:

...and I rode the Alta chairlifts all day Friday with these two?!?!

[DJSapp]

Hey, what about us salary folks?

I guess there's two ways to look at it, weekly salary / 40 hrs / 60 min = $0.346 per min = 1.72 for a 5 minute dump.

On the other hand there's weekly salary / took fucking many hours / 60 min = $0.213 per min = 1.064 for the same five min.

I guess I'm just a worthless shit.

[The AD]

...and I rode the Alta chairlifts all day Friday with these two?!?!

It's appropriate we shared a room in Utah, isn't it?

[Alioops]

This post explains why Odin never pooped at home in the morning and thank god for that considering the bathroom is the size of a tin can (just a bit bigger than the house itself) and right next to the bedroom.
This also gives a whole new meaning to his job description "hole watch".

[Endlessseason]

My goodness how the time has just flown with all this riveting talk of poop. Well, I'd really like to stick around and hear the latest poop on the poop situation, but frankly, I'm just too pooped out. :-( G'nite.

[ill-advised strategy]

...pooping up to 50 times a day (yes, really 50...

You should really watch which planets you swallow.

[ill-advised strategy]

I can almost do Mcwop one better. I had to go in for emergency surgery a couple years ago due to a volvulus of the colon. Here's a nice illustration:


If things get too backed up the intestine can explode and there's a good chance you will die. I had problems with this all my life, but never realized what it was until this severe case where the thing never untwisted itself. So, the end result was I had part of my colon removed. Much better now and back to a regular $2.50 dump at the office

Damn, I bet that set you back a few $$ from the shit-at-work fund.

Next time you could just get yourself arrested in LA, I hear the bros in cellblock D will straighten a colon out for free.

edit for additional smart-assery:
I'm going to be envisioning your bowels every time somebody asks me if I want to go twist one up. I'd just like to thank you for that.

[Hicks]

Love that thread.

So some of us end up just being paid for pooping and spending the rest of the working hours over here, right?
Priceless!!!

[bad_roo]

I am the Shithouse King. A Large percentage of my working day is spent 'researching'. This involves shopping on ebay, cruising the TGR board, and most importantly reading all the car magazines our office gets on subscription. The latter activity is best conducted on the bog. It's got to the stage now where I get anxious if I need to go to the toilet and don't have something to read in my hand. I can spend many hours per week in the trap, catching up on the latest Volkswagen diesel engine developments. I'm thinking of getting a telephone extension installed in there for when I miss calls. The admin staff tell callers that I'm at my other office. So while my hourly poop rate may not be the highest, I bet I gross the biggest.

[Mcwop]

You should really watch which planets you swallow.

LOL

[Keoni]

... I bet I gross the biggest.

Obviously, you've never been the first one to use the can after me

[assgasorgrass]

I just made a lot, it was a two flusher.

[Mustonen]

Bump.

123

[postski]

I never figured it out, but minute for minute it's the most satisfying part of my day!!!!!!!!

[bushman]

Between dumping, smoking, cleanup prior to coffee-lunch -end of shift, prolly hosed the man out of about 5 hrs a day. But its ok it was just Uncle Sam, and sometimes he made go to places I did'nt want to be. X-20 years, o'boy I was a slacker.

[Paully Walnuts]

I'm full time salaried and look at it as an additional beny.
10 min per day times 5 days per week
50 Minutes per week times 49 weeks a year (3 weeks vacation)
equals just over 40 hours a year or an additional vacation week!
Too bad I spend that week on the shitter and not on the hill......

[raisingarizona13]

We get so busy sometimes at my work I don't have time to shit so I just wear depends. I have sat in my own crap for about 45 minutes in 105 degree temperatures, it's not too bad but I sometimes get quite the rash.

[Shadam]

The real irony for me was that fag smokers get to have a 5 min break every hour or 2 and have to leave the premises to do so, and don't have to answer phones or do anything. Thus us non smokers get discriminated against coz we don't get these breaks and I was told we had to take the cordless fone to the shitter!
I told them that won't happen.
My rule was if my fly was down, fark the fone!
Didn't we have some "issues" over this.
I got a good reputation for (on this scale) the $6 shit! (10 years ago!)
it was the only quite time on a 11 - 14 hour shift.
Now I'm an interstate truck driver it cost me money and time. well sleep time.
another reason to have a good diet.

[raisingarizona13]

On average regular smokers die 15 years earlier then non smokers, this gives you 15 more smoke break free years to work.

[Shadam]

but they get to take lotsa time off going to and recovering from varoius surgeries. and get paid a pension waiting to die ...
hmmm ... which lifestyle will i choose,
bueller ...
bueller ...

[Chainsaw_Willie]

A 7yo thread bump? Gotta take the prize for oldest thread bump.

avg 8 min dump = $4.66

[Crampedon]

I have you all beat. I have a lifelong condition that when acting up can mean multiple poops per day. This year was a bad year, and I was pooping up to 50 times a day (yes, really 50 ). Considering about 35 of those were at work, then a significant portion of my salary was for pooping. We won't count the times that I had to go home early, because I did not make it to the bathroom on time .

All is under control now - ski season saved.

Aw, Come on. I got Chunks of guys like you in my stool!