How much do you make while pooping?

**Odin** · 12-22-2004, 01:29 PM

While working a job that required 12/13 hr days 7 days a week, your sense of entitlement to poops is something that gets brought to the forefront.

My compatratriots and I decided to break down our hourly wage and see what we made while pooping. Let's see what YOU make. Here is the formula....

(obviously the overall goal/dollar value of your poop changes dramatically with job pressure, manager oversee, and average stall time. Someone with an average stall time of 10 minutes has a lower dollar value of his poops due to his long stall time)

Let's figure it out.

On weekends (golden time/Overtime all day long) pay was $27 an hour.

Divided by 60 minutes we get....

.45 cents

Which means that in order to make over $2.00 pooping I had to stay in for 5 minutes which netted me a cool $2.25 per 5 minute poop.

Now at this job we had managers relegating length of breaks and there were only certain times where you could leave your post, thus making a 5 minute poop something to strive for. This led to the phrase taking a $2 poop.

What do YOU make while pooping?

**Steven S. Dallas** · 12-22-2004, 01:30 PM

I make shit.

**Keoni** · 12-22-2004, 01:50 PM

Take for instance what your water and sewer bill is at you house and subtract that from your monthly bills. It pays to poop at work in more than one regard.

**cmsummit** · 12-22-2004, 01:53 PM

$2.55

67890

**Castro's** · 12-22-2004, 01:56 PM

Well, at .1666 cents per minute I made $2.49 during my morning poop. BUT, today I downloaded Ms. Pac-man on my phone while pooping so that actually cost me $6.49. This will average out over the long run since I will most likely be making $2.49 during my morning poop now that I have Ms. Pac-man. Without Ms. Pac-man I would probably only be making $1.25 during my morning poop. I'll update after I feel the urge for an afternoon poop.

**p-tex** · 12-22-2004, 01:56 PM

I make a very low poop/min ratio since i usually use the post lunch stop to also read the paper and get away from the phucking phone. Is a hour long poop stop excessive?

Now if you count grunts... we're talking big $$ per/grunt.

**Keoni** · 12-22-2004, 01:59 PM

Bad mexican food charged on the company Mastercard is like, what?

**Jumper Bones** · 12-22-2004, 02:02 PM

this is the bestest thread, ever

**Keoni** · 12-22-2004, 02:03 PM

Don't you mean shittiest?

**Mcwop** · 12-22-2004, 02:08 PM

I have you all beat. I have a lifelong condition that when acting up can mean multiple poops per day. This year was a bad year, and I was pooping up to 50 times a day (yes, really 50

). Considering about 35 of those were at work, then a significant portion of my salary was for pooping. We won't count the times that I had to go home early, because I did not make it to the bathroom on time

.

All is under control now - ski season saved.

**Keoni** · 12-22-2004, 02:12 PM

ibs?
567890

**fiddler** · 12-22-2004, 02:14 PM

Originally Posted by Mcwop

I have you all beat. I have a lifelong condition that when acting up can mean multiple poops per day. This year was a bad year, and I was pooping up to 50 times a day (yes, really 50

). Considering about 35 of those were at work, then a significant portion of my salary was for pooping. We won't count the times that I had to go home early, because I did not make it to the bathroom on time

.

All is under control now - ski season saved.

As much as I like to ride the lifts with mggots, you might forgive me if I ask "what condition your condition is in" before I get on the chair with you

**Mcwop** · 12-22-2004, 02:14 PM

Originally Posted by Keoni

ibs?
567890

UC

**Castro's** · 12-22-2004, 02:26 PM

Originally Posted by Mcwop

I have you all beat. I have a lifelong condition that when acting up can mean multiple poops per day. This year was a bad year, and I was pooping up to 50 times a day (yes, really 50

). Considering about 35 of those were at work, then a significant portion of my salary was for pooping. We won't count the times that I had to go home early, because I did not make it to the bathroom on time

.

All is under control now - ski season saved.

You must have some wicked good TP at work. I can't handle more than 5 per day even with Charmin Ultra, and that stuff's the bomb.

**basom** · 12-22-2004, 02:29 PM

Originally Posted by Mcwop

UC

yuck?

......

**Mcwop** · 12-22-2004, 02:30 PM

Originally Posted by Castro's

You must have some wicked good TP at work. I can't handle more than 5 per day even with Charmin Ultra, and that stuff's the bomb.

That is why I keep a pack of these around:

EDIT - more than you guys ever wanted to know.

**seldon** · 12-22-2004, 02:40 PM

Originally Posted by Mcwop

That is why I keep a pack of these around:

EDIT - more than you guys ever wanted to know.

2 shits. 12345

**VTskibum** · 12-22-2004, 02:42 PM

OMG McWop... seriously TMI!!

**Castro's** · 12-22-2004, 02:43 PM

This thread is works almost as well as the "Tracks" game thread for wasting time at work. When I was young my dad had diverticulitus (spellung?) The doctor misdiagnosed and his colon blew up after being prescribed an enema. He involuntarily had to crap into a bag attatched to his stomach for 3 months. He said the only good part was no chapped ass for three months. (alright, this post has proved to me how incredibly board I really am here at work)

**Big Tim** · 12-22-2004, 02:45 PM

Rectum?....................... It damn near killed em

**The AD** · 12-22-2004, 02:57 PM

I can almost do Mcwop one better. I had to go in for emergency surgery a couple years ago due to a volvulus of the colon. The problem with this isn't too much pooping, but too little. Here's a nice illustration:

If things get too backed up the intestine can explode and there's a good chance you will die. I had problems with this all my life, but never realized what it was until this severe case where the thing never untwisted itself. So, the end result was I had part of my colon removed. Much better now and back to a regular $2.50 dump at the office

**watersnowdirt** · 12-22-2004, 03:00 PM

Poop conversations are completely inappropriate to have on the board.

It gives us nothing left to talk about in Chat.

**goofygrin** · 12-22-2004, 03:13 PM

@ $1.08/min...

$5.40 this morning... and i'm planning on an afternoon 15 min sabattical =)

**Castro's** · 12-22-2004, 03:14 PM

Are there people in the chat room during the day? I've been checking it at night lately and nobody is there. I'm affraid if I enter the chat room at work, I may never leave, therefore, not being able to make money while pooping on the job. With the board, I can read a post, go poop, then come back and check up on the posts.