The year Secret Santa was asked not to return...

**meatdrink9** · 12-16-2004, 10:31 PM

..for if he did his body would burn.

It was the night before work
he was building a gift, the gift of a jerk
A low hum rung through the house
it was subtle, like an anus wrapped mouse.

He went to the store and shopped with care
Hoping to find a gift that would scare
When much to his surprise
an electric toothbrush called to his eyes

http://www.tetongravity.com/forums/a...achmentid=3562

It's buzzing vibration caused quite a clatter.
Would giving it to a female co-worker matter?
A pink tip and toilet paper roll would be just the thing
to help make this giant vibrator sing.

http://www.tetongravity.com/forums/a...achmentid=3563

He'd wrap it with tape and set it to "on"
That'd keep things moving for this plastic dong.

http://www.tetongravity.com/forums/a...achmentid=3564

Covered in paper and shaking with glee.
The innocent toothbrush prepared it's comic decree.

http://www.tetongravity.com/forums/a...achmentid=3565

Um, yeah, so I suck at rhyming, but I have a feeling the secret santa lunch tomorrow is either going to be really funny or really awkward. The poor girl has to open this thing in public while we're out at lunch and it will be shaking.

**powderwhore** · 12-16-2004, 10:48 PM

Pure evil. I love it!

**lph** · 12-16-2004, 11:06 PM

Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaahahahahaha!!!!

Love it, MD.

**truth** · 12-16-2004, 11:17 PM

1,000,000 points to the man in the sheep suit....baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!

**Buzzworthy** · 12-16-2004, 11:36 PM

You outdo yourself occasionally and this is one of those occasions.

**Arty50** · 12-16-2004, 11:37 PM

HOLY SHIT!!! Best...gift...evar!!!!

**The AD** · 12-16-2004, 11:38 PM

That's pure brilliance. What else is there to say?

**phUnk** · 12-16-2004, 11:50 PM

"...and that's how I got fired from my job and asked to go back to Utah."

**InspectorGadget** · 12-16-2004, 11:52 PM

Originally Posted by The AD

What else is there to say?

Oral fixation, perhaps.

**CaddyDaddy77** · 12-16-2004, 11:56 PM

Taped delivery of said gift could give you an extra billion points or so in addition.......

Me digas.

Wish my office party was litle more like that, I would be canned for sure.

**Rdy2ski** · 12-17-2004, 12:07 AM

Omfg....yep that one would have some heads spinning in my office. Nicely done!

**truth** · 12-17-2004, 12:08 AM

Originally Posted by phUnk

"...and that's how I got fired from my job and asked to go back to Utah."

Win win deal.

**jibij** · 12-17-2004, 08:46 AM

**PlayHarder** · 12-17-2004, 08:52 AM

I'd pay to see that gift exchange.

**Stu Gotz** · 12-17-2004, 09:25 AM

I'll play the nancy boy here, but that is a tough gift to give. Not great to get the "gag" gift when everyone else is getting normal stuff. I know that I wouldn't want to get a penis enlarger at the company holiday party.

You're kind of getting into sexual harrassment terrain here.

**iceman** · 12-17-2004, 09:27 AM

Originally Posted by Stu Gotz

You're kind of getting into sexual harrassment terrain here.

Dude, it's a toothbrush.

**meatdrink9** · 12-17-2004, 09:38 AM

Originally Posted by iceman

Dude, it's a toothbrush.

Exactly. It' an innocent gift.

Besides the whole point behind our Secret Santa thing is to be funny.

**bad_roo** · 12-17-2004, 09:39 AM

A couple of years back we had a secret Santa and a guy in our office (who was always rather inappropriate) bought a female member of staff a vibrator. Our boss, a born again Christian who has had a rather sheltered upbringing, picked it up and started fiddling with it. After looking at it in a puzzled way for a few minutes, he asked whether it was a torch.

I had to feign a trip to the gents at that juncture.

**Stu Gotz** · 12-17-2004, 09:42 AM

Originally Posted by iceman

Dude, it's a toothbrush.

True.

"Besides the whole point behind our Secret Santa thing is to be funny."

Ahh, I missed that point. You cannot imply with me. I have no funny bone.

**meatdrink9** · 12-17-2004, 09:45 AM

Originally Posted by bad_roo

A couple of years back we had a secret Santa and a guy in our office (who was always rather inappropriate) bought a female member of staff a vibrator. Our boss, a born again Christian who has had a rather sheltered upbringing, picked it up and started fiddling with it. After looking at it in a puzzled way for a few minutes, he asked whether it was a torch.

I had to feign a trip to the gents at that juncture.

Nice.

One year I wrapped up various left-over meats (hamburger, sausage, etc...no plastic wrap or anything) in wrapping paper. This particular Secret Santa thing was one where the gifts go around like musical chairs. The person who got my gift opened it up and held the various pieces of meat bare handed in some weird state of shock, trying to figure out just what they were and how they worked together. Everyone else in the room was just as confused. Meanwhile I'm laughing my guts up in the corner with meats of evil.

**iceman** · 12-17-2004, 09:48 AM

Meat, the gift that keeps on giving.

**365wp** · 12-17-2004, 09:51 AM

Originally Posted by meatdrink9

The person who got my gift opened it up and held the various pieces of meat bare handed in some weird state of shock, trying to figure out just what they were and how they worked together.

Priceless...this keeps getting better and better.

**Viva** · 12-17-2004, 10:09 AM

I'm guessing that the folks in his office already have a good fix on MDs patented brand of humour and that an electric toothbrush to vibrator is par for his tenure.

Excellent gift, BTW!