Christmas Cheer

[Buster Highmen]

OK, so it's Chrassmass. Drunk relatives, DWIs, malls packed with obese creamcheeser shuffing while they lick the drooble of ice cream off their knuckles, blocking every path of escape.

Here's a thread for Chrassmass rants.

Who makes these twisted sinews of hellish intent? Every year, it's the same: open the damn box of Chrassmas lights so carefully laid out last January only to find the results of a drunk bosuns macrame party.

A topologists nightmare, hairball mangled medusa electric 1 dimensional polygonal horrors. Dancing tangled reefknot wretching hitches bowline irreducible constrictors snarled beyond the hope of homotopy to anything resembling a string of twinkling pearls. Intertwined Chris Cringle lost torqued bindled blindness labrinthine awful convolution.

I connipt, I heave and hurling seizure at the hopeless convolvement. Fucking Chrassmas lights.

[Viva]

Yeah, and I hate it when they get all tangled up.

[bad_roo]

Last year I boycotted Christmas. I'm not a religious person and hate the commercial aspect of it. I copped some grief from the family and even had the inlaws buying me presents in an attempt to make me feel guilty but it didn't work. This year I have done the same. I abhor Christmas with a passion.

[Tippster]

Yeah, fucking peace, love, good cheer BS. Fuck that shit straight to hell.

The over-commercialization aspect does indeed suck ass, though.






And so do the fucking lights.

Fuck.

[Buster Highmen]

Give me fetished Santa's helpers in fishnets, red hats with white fussy rims bustiers, leather reindeer lederhosen, pump action wet thighed sighs from Ms. Claus. Dwarf orgys. Norwegian reindeer obsession (a New Calvin Klein scent). Selling gnat sack aphrodesiac bundled with polymedial Stygian boatanchors and a shiney new DVDVCR. Neoprene facial supporters. Fecial facecreams.

[Woodsy]

Parking,
I live in Down town SLC, 90% of the year the rest of Utah forgets our little miniopolis, instead keeping themselves to the inbred, too clean, happy suburbs where they rtaise their 12 kids and worship the Lard, head to their boring jobs and home again, occasionally draggin the family to a lake somewhere to hook Carps all day.


But then tis the season, every family in the state, and Southern Ideeho & Western Wjyohwhyoming decides they need to come downtown to shop ( nevermind that the rest of the year their lovely suburban malls are all they need & our Down town malls have been going in the Shitter for years because of this), to look at the lights, and to attend Disney, Thomas the Tank Engine & what ever other show decides to be "on Ice" at the Delta center. Plus the once yearly required viewing of the Nutcracker in Capital Theatre and the packed to the gills ice shuffle on the small Gallivan ice sheet.

So downtown is full of little Cambell soup looking kids & adults that were seemingly poured into holiday sweatshirts and about to burst jeans, wandering around downtown like thats Christmas to them.

I have 1 parking place at my Condo and I or Ms. Woodsy park the other car on the street, this becmoes a hellich game of Musical chairs this time of year, dodging weighed down Suburbans and Minivans, weaving in and out parking lots and on street parking....

stay tuned for the resort Hotel Christmas guest rant coming soon.......


Bah, Humbug.

[iceman]

Just a practical note abooot the lights: They make these spool things, like a giant kitestring holder. They cost about two bucks.You just wind the lights, garlands, whatever on when you take them down. I bought them last year, put the liights up Friday, not one tangle. Very worth it.

[Tippster]

Just a practical note abooot the lights: They make these spool things, like a giant kitestring holder. They cost about two bucks.You just wind the lights, garlands, whatever on when you take them down. I bought them last year, put the liights up Friday, not one tangle. Very worth it.

That would just spoil the fun though, wouldn't it? How do you expect me to get into the Spirit of the Season w/o a vigorous roof-top cursing session?

http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/ch/1993/ch931213.gif

[Cornholio]

Just a practical note abooot the lights: They make these spool things, like a giant kitestring holder. They cost about two bucks.You just wind the lights, garlands, whatever on when you take them down. I bought them last year, put the liights up Friday, not one tangle. Very worth it.

Now they're going to kick you out of curmudgeons anonymous for sure.

[Mcwop]

Black Flag "Family Man"

...i come for YOU family man, with your christmas lights already up,
your such a MAN when your puttin up your christmas lights,
first on the block;
family man
i wanna crucify you to your front door with the nails
from your well stocked garage family man;
family man;
FAMILY MAN
saint dad! father on fire! ive come to incinerate you
ive come home

[Tippster]

Ya gotta love Henry Rollins.

[Mrs Roo]

[QUOTE=bad_roo] I copped some grief from the family and even had the inlaws buying me presents in an attempt to make me feel guilty but it didn't work. [QUOTE]

You miserable old git! My mother NEVER uses emotional blackmail.......ahem..
I don't care about your principles, I want a bloody present, goddammitt!

[Mcwop]

Ya gotta love Henry Rollins.

Yeah, he can sum it up like no other. He is definately not a fat, ice cream eating, mall rat. He is the complete opposite.

[iskibc]

I can't stand how it's all about money and materials. Whatever happened to spending time with family and friends. Now, it's all about who's gonna spend the most money on who, and who's gonna get a brand new 400 Gigabyte Ipod with features you will never use, and how much credit card debt are you willing to get into, and how many Tiffany bracelets do you need to buy the significant other so she knows you "love" her? Whatever happened to being thoughtful? Whatever happened to just spending quality time with family? Christmas is all about being materialistic and it makes me sick. Meh.

[Mrs Roo]

many Tiffany bracelets you need to buy the significant other so she knows you "love" her

See, Roo!

12345

[Steven S. Dallas]

See, Roo!

12345

Well, if it isn't Mrs. Grinch!

[bad_roo]

http://www.pages.drexel.edu/~ccc22/Mop.JPG

[Mrs Roo]

http://www.pages.drexel.edu/~ccc22/Mop.JPG

How did you know? I tried to wrap it so you wouldn't guess.

[bad_roo]

Don't you hate it when Christmas comes and you've both bought each other Clorox ReadyMops?

[The Reverend Floater]

Utards!

These mo'fo's come into our small town, each with a bigger SUV than the next. And I don't know what it is or why, but most people from Utah CANNOT DRIVE! Honestly, being wary around a SUV with Utah plates here is as natural as putting a coat on when it's raining. I think they are starting to teach kids about it in kindergarten. It's unreal how bad they are.


Attitude

While this has obviously been touched on already, I don't understand how you can be rude to a waiter on Christmas eve, how you can lay on your horn in a town with 2 stop lights, or forget to tip the vallet at Christmas dinner. It's just fucked.

[meatdrink9]

I like christmas. I'm not religious. I'm not overly into the commercial/gifts thing either. Although I do stress about buying nice gifts for my wife...

But I do like the tree (fake). I like the lights. I like the snow in the yard. I like spending time with family. I like the food. I just like the general spirit of the holidays. Fortunately I haven't had to go into a mall yet this year and I don't work someplace that plays Mariah Carey christmas hits all day either. Our ornament for this year is a little crib that says "we're expecting". For me the holidays are about family and friends.

[Woodsy]

Utards!

And I don't know what it is or why, but most people from Utah CANNOT DRIVE!

Word to my mother.
no turn signal using, 3 lane lane changin, speedin up in passing lanes, no idea the left lane is the fast lane & you shouldn't pass on the right, oblivious mother fokkers.

I'm not from here
I just live here
grew up somewhere far away
come here thinking I'd never stay long
I'd be going back soon someday

it's been a few years
since I got here
seen 'em come and I've seen 'em go
crowds assemble, they hang out awhile
then they melt away like an early snow

[Cornholio]

The interweb has made christmas much more enjoyable. One afternoon, all the prezzies for everyone, and I'm done. No malls. No rush.

I'm with meat- I like this time of year. I like giving stuff to the people I care about and if it takes a holiday to remind me to do it, that's fine. I like lit trees. It's the only time of the year my whole family is together.

Of course, the fact that it's the only time of the year when I get to spend significant time in the mountains may help, too.

[jibij]

For me the holidays are about family and friends.

And karaoke in afro wigs.

http://www.mediarite.com/powboard/jared_karaoke.jpg

[KQ]

If Christmas has lost it's meaning why not put the meaning back in Christmas by helping those less fortunate than you? Come on...lend a hand and spead some cheer. There are ppl out there with nothing. Kids whose only wish for Christmas is a warm coat and a home cooked meal.

Put a dollar in the bell ringers bucket
Buy the homeless guy on the corner a happy meal
Volunteer at the shelter
Donate to toys for tots
Adopt a Family
Visit a nursing home and share some time with the elderly who are alone
Help the home-bound get out and see the lights
Go Caroling
Buy a bag of groceries for a food drive
Visit the old man/lady on your street who is without family - invite him to home for the holiday
Write a letter/send a package to a soldier

There is always a great need in this country but at this time of year the need is felt even more. Reach out and help someone - not only will they feel better but you'll find that holiday spirit you thought was lost on the commercialism.


It's Christmastime; there's no need to be afraid
At Christmastime, we let in light and we banish shade
And in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy
Throw your arms around the world at Christmastime
But say a prayer to pray for the other ones
At Christmastime

It's hard, but when you're having fun
There's a world outside your window
And it's a world of dread and fear
Where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears

And the Christmas bells that ring there
Are the clanging chimes of doom
Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you
And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime

The greatest gift they'll get this year is life
Oh, where nothing ever grows, no rain or rivers flow
Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

Here's to you, raise a glass for ev'ryone
Here's to them, underneath that burning sun
Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

Feed the world
Feed the world

Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmastime again
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmastime again