This is funny

[vinzclortho]

sorry if this is a rerun y'all...



>Thought I'd share this, as it's pretty funny.
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate
>my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying. On one
>recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth
>was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a
>head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By
>then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the
>top of my head.
>
>The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to
>adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.
>Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my
>wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen. "Honey! The garbage disposal
>is dead again. Please come reset it."
>
>"You know where the button is," I protested through the shower's
>pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!"
>
>"But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me
>in?" There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you a
>second."
>
>So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping that my silent,
>outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior
>as extremely cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head
>under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember
>performing.
>
>It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances.
>No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal
>teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling
>objects hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and
>stalked me as I reached under the sink.
>
>At the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I
>unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-sharp claws. I lost
>all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising
>at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from
>my masculine region.
>
>Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome. Men,
>in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know this from
>experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and
>cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me
>out cold.
>
>When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are not
>many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen
>floor buck naked in front of a group of paramedics. Even worse, having
>been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as
>they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their
>hysterical laughter. And not succeeding.
>
>Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back in
>to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me
>about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk
>about, which it was.
>
>"What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your tongue?"
>
>If they only knew!
>
>Why is it that only the women laugh at this?

[PaSucks]

Bwahaaa. That was funny. Thumbs up.

[rtp]

Thats too funny!

[interloper]

So did you get the garbage disposal to work?

[phUnk]

See? No good cats.