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Thread: Part 2: Padded Room Special Collection Of Junk That More Than Likely Will Be NSFW

  1. #1176
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    which one of the seventy brazillion threads in polyasshat deserves this gif posted in it, i wonder?




    edit to add:
    Last edited by f2f; 03-04-2011 at 09:38 PM.

  2. #1177
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    Early morning kid's show from Belgium.

    I thought their offices would be strewn with bunny-fucking and condom dispensers, a veritable enchanted forest of cock shafts and twat mist. - JoeStrummer

  3. #1178
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    should be immediately followed by teen pregnancy stats for belgium.

  4. #1179
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    I'm not sure if that's actually Ken Jennings or not, but damn, the dude is funny. I mean he was kind of funny on Jeopardy, but some of these are pure gold:

    I remember COUNTRY MUSIC kept showing up. That or HOCKEY. Least favorite categories. Basically anything with a mullet is my Jeopardy kryptonite.
    On Trebek:
    So I don't know the guy real well. He's a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a Perry Ellis suit.
    GET OFF MY BACK TREBEK! Or "Chaim Trebekovitz," which is his real name. Just sayin.
    Question:Say I was going to be competing on Jeopardy in two months from now. What books/resources would you suggest I look over to prepare?

    Ken's answer:
    Congrats! You will be joining an elite club of virgins.
    Preparation: my book Brainiac is okay for that, but Bob Harris's book Prisoner of Trebekistan is better. (Mine is less Jeopardy-centric.) Mike Dupee's out of print How To Get on Jeopardy...and Win is best of all. But I think the title might be a little on-the-nose, don't you?
    Read The Dictionary of Cultural Literacy. Know world capitals. Know US presidents and their dates. Remember: by the odds, most first-timers lose, so be determined to have fun no matter what. You will also play better that way.
    Don't wear a sweater, you will look like a tool.
    Question:Be honest. Did you actually lose the day you broke your streak, or did you throw the game?

    People keep asking me this. WORST CONSPIRACY THEORY EVER. Have you ever quit a job where you were making like $75K an hour?
    But I think that lady who beat me was probably born in Indonesia, or Kenya, or something. Disqualified!
    Mormon trivia:
    Christian Aguilera was born Mormon. Not our finest effort.
    The original proposed name for Utah, "Deseret," isn't related to "desert." It's a Book of Mormon word (and therefore etymologically iffy to nonbelievers) meaning "honeybee."
    Mormon congregations are called "wards," and dioceses are called "stakes." Some of our houses of worship used to therefore be called "stake houses," but this turned out to be too confusing. (Especially because there was no salad bar.)
    Mormon scripture strongly implies that the apostle John, as well as three Book of Mormon disciples, never actually died but are still kicking around someplace. Awesomely, this leads some Mormons to repeat urban legends about "the three Nephites" miraculously appearing to help little old ladies, repair the cars of stranded travelers, etc.
    My Sunday school teacher, when I was a Mormon teen, once memorably advised us that "There's nothing more overrated than sex, and nothing more underrated than a good bowel movement." It totally worked...I don't remember a single other sermon from when I was a kid, but I think about this guy exactly once a day, and then again once a week.
    My balls are carried for me at all times by the thirteen contestants who lost to me on Jeopardy back in 2004 with a negative score, meaning they didn't get to compete in Final Jeopardy.
    They take turns.
    From Wikipedia:
    In 2004 Democratic politicians Chuck Schumer and Harry Reid unsuccessfully asked Jennings to run for the United States Senate from Utah. Jennings observed that "That was when I realized the Democratic Party was f@#$ed in '04."[19]

    Funniest.Mormon.Ever.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tunco perfectly summarizing TGR View Post
    It is like Days of Our Lives', but with retards.

  5. #1180
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    Quote Originally Posted by dumpy View Post
    I'm not sure if that's actually Ken Jennings or not, but damn, the dude is funny.
    AMAs purporting to come from important people are usually verified. he verified the AMA by posting on his official blog. That still leaves the option that it was one of his minions who done did the whole thing.

  6. #1181
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    The thread needs some fucking culture.
    How about some performance art? Skip to around 2:30 for the good stuff but it doesn't really start to go off until the 4 minute mark.



    edit to add: its spaghettios.
    I thought their offices would be strewn with bunny-fucking and condom dispensers, a veritable enchanted forest of cock shafts and twat mist. - JoeStrummer

  7. #1182
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    The fuck? I.. um.. ok. That was different.
    Quote Originally Posted by JoeStrummer
    The universe that is a vehicle is a funny and delicate thing. I fucked my wife in the back seat of our Saab in the parking lot before a Social D / Superchunk show at Red Rocks. After that the radio never worked again.

  8. #1183
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  9. #1184
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    The thread is suffering from a severe lack of content.








    I thought their offices would be strewn with bunny-fucking and condom dispensers, a veritable enchanted forest of cock shafts and twat mist. - JoeStrummer

  10. #1185
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    I can't embed but its worth the click.


    I found it difficult to masturbate.

  11. #1186
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    I resolve PC issues remotely. Need to get rid of all that pr0n you downloaded on your work laptop? Or did you just get a ton of viruses from searching for "geriatic midget sex"? Either way I can fix them. PM Me for maggot prices.

    Follow me on Twitter
    Facebook - Become a Fan

  12. #1187
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrryde View Post
    Loved it!
    I think you have me confused with someone who is far less awesome.

  13. #1188
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  14. #1189
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheDingleberry View Post
    pissing in a sink? fucking rookies. Shit in an oven, then you'll be pro.

  15. #1190
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    Last edited by monkeywrenchMoose; 03-06-2011 at 05:19 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by TheDingleberry View Post
    pissing in a sink? fucking rookies. Shit in an oven, then you'll be pro.

  16. #1191
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    Here is a great clip of a horse race, with a funny as shit horse's name. There had to have been alcohol involved when they thought of the name. Listen to and announcer towards the end, LMAO

    http://www.wimp.com/horsename/

  17. #1192
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    Last edited by Tippster; 03-09-2011 at 08:24 AM.

  18. #1193
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    Rental car olympics.




  19. #1194
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    Last edited by Viva; 03-07-2011 at 09:34 PM.
    Your dog just ate an avocado!

  20. #1195
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    40 seconds in.

  21. #1196
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    Quote Originally Posted by PassTheDutchie View Post


    40 seconds in.
    I gotta admit if I turned that corner I would probably jump. You just don't see shit like that. Awesome.

  22. #1197
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  23. #1198
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    ::.:..::::.::.:.::..::.

  24. #1199
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    Quote Originally Posted by JoeStrummer
    The universe that is a vehicle is a funny and delicate thing. I fucked my wife in the back seat of our Saab in the parking lot before a Social D / Superchunk show at Red Rocks. After that the radio never worked again.

  25. #1200
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