I Would Like to Thank

**George W Bush** · 11-09-2004, 09:27 PM

Mr. Gyptian, BlurredElevens, and Summit for their tireless contributions to my re-election campaign.

As I've been busy partying it up since my victory I've not had the time to properly thank the righteous on this board. Once again, gentlemen, I commend your virtues.

The rest of you, eat a bowl of dicks.

Your president,

George W Bush

**Tippster** · 11-09-2004, 09:39 PM

1234567890

**Tippster** · 11-09-2004, 09:41 PM

abcdefghij

**altachic** · 11-09-2004, 09:46 PM

lick nuts.

**Game Over** · 11-09-2004, 10:17 PM

Tipster thoes are fucking great.

**Dexter Rutecki** · 11-09-2004, 10:26 PM

I'm down with Tip's map. Better to say eh and deal with Quebecers than let those flyover state morons choose our president and Senate. Ooohhh, I'm so scared they'll take my guns and make us have communist healthcare, and that Bush guy sure does talk normal--he even knows how to pronounce nuke-u-lehr. Not like that Chardonnay sipping Massachussetts LIBERAL. I'm scared. I'm voting right wing religious nut to keep me safe.

Thanks a lot, red state turds.

**Mountainman** · 11-09-2004, 11:48 PM

I stay outta political shit. Just liked this map we looked at in class today.
Way to take the bait liz, funny stuff.

http://www-personal.umich.edu/~mejn/...ecartlarge.png

**summit** · 11-10-2004, 03:45 AM

Originally Posted by George W Bush

Mr. Gyptian, BlurredElevens, and Summit for their tireless contributions to my re-election campaign.

As I've been busy partying it up since my victory I've not had the time to properly thank the righteous on this board. Once again, gentlemen, I commend your virtues.

The rest of you, eat a bowl of dicks.

Your president,

George W Bush

Sorry... what?

I voted for Bugs and Daffy.

**ddsnake** · 11-10-2004, 04:52 AM

Originally Posted by Summit

Sorry... what?

I voted for Bugs and Daffy.

Only reason you didn't vote for Bush is because he's angainst you and blurred getting married.

**FNG** · 11-10-2004, 05:31 AM

Hey Bush, where's my fucking tax refund!?!

**tuffy109** · 11-10-2004, 11:00 AM

from www.fuckthesouth.com

Fuck the South. Fuck 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah, those are states we want to keep.

And now what do we get? We're the fucking Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really?

Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the fucking sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were fucking blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the fucking monuments are up here in our backyard?

No, No. Get the fuck out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and fucking Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think those fucking stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for fucking blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their fucking Subarus together and broken off from New York a little earlier. Get it? We started this shit, so don't get all uppity about how real you are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for almost a hundred years" dickheads. Fuck off.

Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being fucking arrogant? What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don't think so. Arrogance is the fucking cornerstone of what it means to be American. And I wouldn't be so fucking arrogant if I wasn't paying for your fucking bridges, bitch.

All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your fucking Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a fucking swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shithole," we said, but you had to have your fucking orange juice.

The next dickwad who says, "It’s your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal fucking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, motherfucker, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, asshole, they’re blue states. It’s not your money, assholes, it’s fucking our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own fucking stop signs, assholes.

Let’s talk about those values for a fucking minute. You and your Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values over you fucking Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It’s fucking Massachusetts, the fucking center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that’s right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the fucking nation. Think that’s just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are fucking blue states, asshole, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to fucking guess? 10 of the top 10 are fucking red-ass we're-so-fucking-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible Belt is doing its fucking part.

But two guys making out is going to fucking ruin marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little bastards. Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you do, right? Cause we fucking get to hear about it every goddamn year at election time. Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and then you're fucking towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us fucking Northerners don't talk about religion as much as you because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous assholes? No, you're too busy erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments in buildings paid for by the fucking Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North, assholes.

Well this gravy train is fucking over. Take your liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou, hypocritical bullshit and shove it up your ass.

And no, you can't have your fucking convention in New York next time. Fuck off.

**DougW** · 11-10-2004, 01:41 PM

WASHINGTON, DC—The economically disadvantaged segment of the U.S. population provided the decisive factor in another presidential election last Tuesday, handing control of the government to the rich and powerful once again.

"The Republican party—the party of industrial mega-capitalists, corporate financiers, power brokers, and the moneyed elite—would like to thank the undereducated rural poor, the struggling blue-collar workers in Middle America, and the God-fearing underpriviledged minorities who voted George W. Bush back into office," Karl Rove, senior advisor to Bush, told reporters at a press conference Monday. "You have selflessly sacrificed your well-being and voted against your own economic interest. For this, we humbly thank you."

Added Rove: "You have acted beyond the call of duty—or, for that matter, good sense

."

According to Rove, the Republicans found strong support in non-urban areas populated by the people who would have benefited most from the lower-income tax cuts and social-service programs championed by Kerry. Regardless of their own interests, these citizens turned out in record numbers to elect conservatives into office at all levels of the government.

"My family's been suffering ever since I lost my job at the screen-door factory, and I haven't seen a doctor for well on four years now," said father of four Buddy Kaldrin of Eerie, CO. "Shit, I don't even remember what a dentist's chair looks like... Basically, I'd give up if it weren't for God's grace. So it's good to know we have a president who cares about religion, too."

Kaldrin added: "That's why I always vote straight-ticket Republican, just like my daddy did, before he lost the farm and shot himself in the head, and just like his daddy did, before he died of black-lung disease in the company coal mines."

Kaldrin was one of many who listed moral issues among their primary reasons for voting Republican.

Above: Bush supporters vote in Kendall, FL.
"Our society is falling apart—our treasured values are under attack by terrorists," said Ellen Blaine of Givens, OH, a tiny rural farming community as likely to be attacked by terrorists as it is to be hit by a meteor. "We need someone with old-time morals in the White House. I may not have much of anything in this world, but at least I have my family."

"John Kerry is a flip-flopper," she continued. "I saw it on TV. Who knows what terrible things might've happened to my sons overseas if he'd been put in charge?"

Kerry supporters also turned out in large numbers this year, but they were outnumbered by those citizens who voted for Bush.

"The alliance between the tiny fraction at the top of the pyramid and the teeming masses of mouth-breathers

at its enormous base has never been stronger," a triumphant Bush said. "We have an understanding, them and us. They help us stay rich, and in return, we help them stay poor. See? No matter what naysayers may think, the system works."

Added Bush: "God bless America's backwards hicks, lunchpail-toting blockheads, doddering elderly, and bumpity-car-driving Spanish-speakers."

**powpig** · 11-10-2004, 02:01 PM

Shouldn't you be thanking Walden O'Dell, the CEO of Diebold (the voting machine people).
Don't forget the fundraising letter he sent out last year where he
"committed to helping Ohio deliver its electoral votes to the president next year."

With 90,000 more votes cast in Ohio than registered voters (Keith Olbermann on his MSNBC show 11/9 read a list county by county of registered voters vs actual votes tallied), you sure as hell owe Mr. O'Dell, I'm sure Walden to you, a big 'ol THANKS! And a hug?

KQ · 11-10-2004, 02:04 PM

check out the many pics in the "gallery."

Sorry Everybody

**basom** · 11-10-2004, 02:13 PM

Originally Posted by KQ

check out the many pics in the "gallery."

Sorry Everybody

those are pretty awsome KQ.

http://www.sorryeverybody.com/upload_files/se431.jpg

edit:

http://www.sorryeverybody.com/upload_files/se2401.jpg

**splat** · 11-10-2004, 02:15 PM

Golly, Mr. Bush, do you feel better creating a lame alias to support your deep-rooted feelings of inferiority?

**EPSkis** · 11-10-2004, 03:04 PM

Originally Posted by KQ

check out the many pics in the "gallery."

Sorry Everybody

That is quite possibly the most pathetic thing I have ever seen in my entire life.

KQ · 11-10-2004, 03:08 PM

Originally Posted by EPSkis

That is quite possibly the most pathetic thing I have ever seen in my entire life.

LOL!!!!!!!

**bad_roo** · 11-10-2004, 03:23 PM

http://www.sorryeverybody.com/upload_files/se1943.jpg

"My steeze. It is fancy in the pantry, no?"

**SkiCougar** · 11-10-2004, 03:47 PM

yes. thanks to all that voted against kerry, who supports partial birth abortion, keep me from explaining to my kids that mr. steve+mr. jim smith down the street destroy the family and hurt long term relationships even though same sex couples only amounts to 3% of the population, wants socialized medicine and handing over US decisions to countries who can be bought.

very proud of the american voter !

**board** · 11-10-2004, 04:03 PM

At first I was angry, frustrated and dismayed but now I really really want Bush to do everything we know Republicans love; lower taxes to nothing ( I'm really hoping for the VAT ! ) cut programs to the bone or simply eliminate them all together, smash unions, trash health care...you name it ! I've graduated from college, I can afford good healthcare, I already make allot of money, so I actually will benefit, but what I really want is for the less economically fortunate Bush voter to really feel the sting ! I can't wait for them to take it right in the ass. I hope keeping faggots from marrying was worth losing your conveyor belt job...enjoy asshole !

**Barnballs** · 11-10-2004, 04:10 PM

yes. thanks to all that voted against kerry, who supports partial birth abortion, keep me from explaining to my kids that mr. steve+mr. jim smith down the street destroy the family and hurt long term relationships even though same sex couples only amounts to 3% of the population, wants socialized medicine and handing over US decisions to countries who can be bought.

BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

Well said TEXAS!

KQ · 11-10-2004, 04:14 PM

Originally Posted by SkiCougar

yes. thanks to all that voted against kerry, who supports partial birth abortion, keep me from explaining to my kids that mr. steve+mr. jim smith down the street destroy the family and hurt long term relationships even though same sex couples only amounts to 3% of the population, wants socialized medicine and handing over US decisions to countries who can be bought.

very proud of the american voter !

Hate: The new American value!!

**splat** · 11-10-2004, 04:22 PM

Our God-fearing, hate mongering, fundamentalist Christian soldiers will smash the religious zealots of Islam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Osama bin Laden was right. It is a holy war.

**Blurred** · 11-10-2004, 04:26 PM

Originally Posted by George W Bush

Mr. Gyptian, BlurredElevens, and Summit for their tireless contributions to my re-election campaign.

As I've been busy partying it up since my victory I've not had the time to properly thank the righteous on this board. Once again, gentlemen, I commend your virtues.

The rest of you, eat a bowl of dicks.

Your president,

George W Bush

You sir are very welcome!!!

I think the rest are choking on the dicks as I type this.