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Thread: Hey, Kids, let's start a religion!

  1. #76
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    GOD is offline George Burns stunt double
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    Originally posted by DaveTV
    Well I'll just start my own then. I've always like the "pagan" thing anyways. See if YOUR God gives you big pow days.. Mine will
    http://www.webcom.com/lstead/GIFs/SmThor.GIF
    HEY, HEY, HEY!!!
    Jee whiz, what am I? Chopped liver here? I gotta coupla of tricks ya know.

  2. #77
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    As I am a blind man, and yet a seer, I can't read through the entire thread. However, I have one request. Can we come up with a name for God other than God? And I don't mean Yahweh, because I understand that you're not supposed to say that and frankly I don't see the point. I mean, a god can't have a name unless he's in a polytheistic system? And then he can have more than one name, but our monotheistic Judeo-Christian doesn't get any? That's BS.

    Oh, and I'm Unitarian, which kicks ass because you don't have to buy into that mumbo-jumbo AND we have the word "unit" in the name of our sect. I can't recommend it enough.

  3. #78
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    Talking

    Our god appears to be called 'Joe'.

  4. #79
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    Originally posted by bad_roo
    Our god appears to be called 'Joe'.
    "Joe." Well... It does have a nice ring to it. Kind of like Tim the enchanter.

  5. #80
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    Originally posted by bad_roo
    Our god appears to be called 'Joe'.
    No, no, I'm not God, I'm merely the Seer, unto whom most things are revealed (it can't be ALL things, or I'd put the prophets out of a job). God's name is Rerun.

    Tavi, if you want the job of guru, you got it. Personally I think guru would be better than goatboy, but it's up to you.

    So we've got some Bishops, one "Skiva, the Destroyah", one guru, a couple of prophets one "Cornholio, the Smiter" and a Unitarian (Official Unitarian Motto: "Whatever").

    The Reverend has been strangely silent, but I think he would make an excellent PR person, whaddya say, Rev?

    What else do we need?

    Oh, and Buster's right, buy the book!

  6. #81
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    Originally posted by iceman


    Oh, and Buster's right, buy the book!
    And, pay your tithe, of course.

  7. #82
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    Can't I be high priest?

    Oh, wait I don't get high.





    Never mind.

  8. #83
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    Originally posted by grrrr
    Can't I be high priest?

    Oh, wait I don't get high.





    Never mind.

    I can fill this void as well as handle PR, as suggested. Call me when you have your first scandal or when your Messiah is a no-show. I also do Bar Mitzvahs, Ramadan Mixers, Christmas cocktail parties, proms, weddings and pagan funerals*.

    My annual winter blessing is just around the corner.

    *No goats, please, due to allergies.
    "All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring."

  9. #84
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    Originally posted by The Reverend Floater

    *No goats, please, due to allergies.
    Damn, I was afraid of that. Okay Ice, Guru it is.

  10. #85
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    Will we worship vast encampments of large women in red, tentsized mumus? Or will this be our visoin of hell, where the sinners will have to play twister with them in order to get a cigarette?

    Should we even have a concept of sin? I mean, snow melts and that's a really bad thing, but is it a sin? Snow is good and those Philosopher Clowns found in Plato's Republic (the ones with the big red rubber noses) were always postulating the necessity of evil in order to define good.

    Should the religion be Deistic at all? Buddhism gets by without it. On the other hand, a pantheon of gods, deities and demiurges makes for a rich social tapestry.

    But, by all known whoohaw, my religion better involve skiing and free beer.

  11. #86
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    I like the idea of scrambling to create "rank" over said religion, but I haven't heard of any guidline.
    Do I get to ski endless 50+degree slopes without getting tired and having nothing but perfect conditions if I go to "heaven"?

    what are the "commandments" to get me to heaven.

    Or are they not commands rather more suggests.

    The 5 "suggestions"

    1) Thou shall ski whenever the opprotunity presents itself (extra considerations for those that had the opprotunity present itself more than 100 days/year)

    2) Thou shall share personal stashes with the fellowship when they are visiting from abroad.

    3) Thou shall think skiing, act skiing, be skiing.

    4) Thou shall open their own door to the fellowship

    5) Thou shall look out for one another.


    GIVE ME SOMETHING TO BELIEVE IN!!!!!!!!

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