The return of Family Guy

[PacRimRider1]

Oh how I missed the Griffin family. Tonight, 2 hrs of my time was spent laughing my ass off at the tv. Its so nice to see FOX attempt to add some class to their network.
Some quotes:

chris: "What's a library, dad?"
Peter: "Oh, it's just a place where homeless people come to shave and go BM."

brian: "Peter, did you read the fine print on this loan contract?"
Peter: "Um, if by "read" you mean imagined a naked lady, then, yes."

Louis: "You're drunk again."
Peter: "No, I'm just exhausted 'cause I've been up all night drinking."

Peter: "A guy at work bought a car out of the paper. Ten years later, Bam! Herpes."

Stewie:" Now look here...Jo-LENE. I have an army to raise and I must get to Managua at once. I require a window seat and an in-flight Happy Meal. BUT NO PICKLES. OH, GOD HELP YOU IF I FIND PICKLES."

Peter Griffin : I've been watching television so much the shows are starting to run together.
Announcer : And now, Homicide: Life on Sesame Street.
Bert: [Answering phone] Hello? Son of a bitch. I'm on my way.
[Gets out of bed and gets dressed]
Bert: Some poor bastard got his head blown off down at a place called Hooper's.
Ernie: Bert, I wish you wouldn't drink so much, Bert.
Bert: Well, Ernie, I wish you wouldn't eat cookies in the DAMN BED.
Ernie: Bert, you're shouting again, Bert.

Bob Ross: All right, we are going to use a fan brush here and uh why don't you take some hunter green and we are going to put a happy little bush right down over here in the corner there and that'll just be our little secret and if you tell anyone that that bush is there i will come to your house and I will cut you.

Interviewer: So where do you see yourself in five years?
Peter Griffin : [Thinking to himself "Don't say doing you wife. Don't say doing your wife."] Doing your, uh, son...

Security Guard: You're not a shoplifter, you're just a fat kid. Sorry about that fatty, fat, fatty. Hey Tom, he's just a fat kid. Aren't ya fatty? He's a big ol' fat kid. Here's some chocolate fatso.
Chris Griffin : Thanks.

Store owner : Hey, there's no hams under here, you're just a fat kid. Here, fatty fat fatty. Have some chocolate, fatso.
Chris Griffin : Thanks.

And I felt this apropreate:
Dennis Miller : I don't want to go on a rant, here, but America's foreign policy makes about as much sense as Beowulf having sex with Robert Fulton at the first battle of Antietam. I mean when a neo-conservative defenestrates it's like Raskolnikov filibuster deoxymonohydroxinate...
[Peter is watching this on TV]
Peter Griffin : What the hell does rant mean?

[lax]

i was so excited when i saw it wwas back on, i forgot about and BAM i turn on the TV tonight (cause ima loser (home alone)) and BAM i crap my pants laughing...my favorite of the night...

lois asks peter about getting a job...memory sequence of interview

interviewer:where do you picture yourself in 5 years?

peter stares at picture or interviewer, wife, and son

peter's mind: don't say doing your wife, don't say doing your wife, don't say doing your wife...

peter looks back at picture

peter to interviewer: doing your...son

[Grange]

How about the Waylan Jennings song "I kissed my wife with my fist". Non-PC and wrong, but I couldn't help but laugh.

[Mountain Freak]

Thank God for Family Guy... I was so pissed after they took that show off the air. I hope they keep it up.

[TRock]

I'm a fan of Brian sliding across the hood of the station wagon Dukes of Hazard-style when he and Peter are running from the citizens of Bumblescum.

[dubu]

That show was about two years ahead of its time, its awsomethat it is coming back

[hev]

definately a favorite. does anyone know when the new episodes are going to start?

[vinzclortho]

Originally posted by hev
definately a favorite. does anyone know when the new episodes are going to start?

spring 2005

[Shake Zula]

If your ever up late, they show reruns on the Cartoon Network.
Monday through Thursday. 12:00 mtn.

[Tippster]

Peter Griffin : Look Lois, the two symbols of the Republican Party: an elephant, and a fat white guy who is threatened by change.

Brian Griffin : Ah, if my memory serves me, this is the physics department.
Chris Griffin : That would explain all the gravity.

Tom Tucker : Due to an accident today at the Quahog Cable Company, all television transmissions will be out for an undetermined ammount of time. Of course no one can see this news program so it doesn't really matter what we say. I'm the lord Jesus Christ. I think I'll go get drunk and beat up some midgets. How about you, Diane?
Diane Simmons : Well Tom, I just plain don't like black people.
[they laugh]
Cameraman : You guys, we're still on in Boston.
[Tom and Diane stare in horror]

Li : Stewie, come complete our rainbow.
Stewie Griffin : I've got a better idea. Let's go play "swallow the stuff under the sink."

Stewie Griffin : Mother, I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint: it's in my diaper and it's not a toaster.

Peter Griffin : Maybe you don't have to pee. I'll just give you some beer, it'll run right through you.
Stewie Griffin : Beautiful. And while we're at it we can light up a doobie and watch porn.
Peter Griffin : Rea... Really?

[trying to get a Scout Merit Badge]
Chris Griffin : Uh, Dad, maybe we should just give up. I mean, we've tried everything
Peter Griffin : Well, we almost got that one for insect study.
[cut to Peter & Chris watching a rich family eat]
Peter Griffin : Look Chris, it's a whole family of wasps.
Rich Father: My Margaret, what a sub-par ham.
Rich Mother: Perhaps I can't bake a ham, but what I can cook up is a little grace and civility at the table.
[pause]
Rich Father: [to daughter] Patty, did you know your mother is a whore? ________________________________________________

Goddamn, I heart that show!

[meatdrink9]

Absolutely brilliant show.

Way too many notable quotables. We've gone through the entire collection on DVD through Netflix. All praise Netflix.

Imagine if coming up with that shit was your job. That would not suck.

[phUnk]

Love the Family Guy.

You can download the episode on the interweb, which now comes on computers, FYI.

[zion zig zag]

Favorite part; the chumba wumbas singing to the dude in the wheelchair at the charliesque beer factory tour.

[Red Baron]

You know what sucks? The ratings! Just like they did the first time - everyone (aside from you guys and I) is over watching the olympics.

They brought the show back b/c of it's success on cable and on DVD, then put in a position where it's certain to fail again...amazing.

Oh, and you wouldn't believe the amount of calls we get in the newsroom when it runs - people either love it or hate it, and here in Utah, we get some serious crap for running it...

[phUnk]

Originally posted by Red Baron
and here in Utah, we get some serious crap for running it...

Chris: "Dad, what's a blow-hole?"

Peter: "Well, I'll tell ya what it's not for. That will also explain why daddy isn't allowed back at Sea-World anymore."

[britney]

I *heart* Stewie.

That is all.
-b

[gincognito]

I catch it whenever I'm on the road and have access to cable.

Just ordered season three on DVD to satisfy the days in between.

Sick and ashamed and happy (and loved it right from the Captain Kirk mocking start),
d.

[repeat]

Is it a new season or still reruns?

[vinzclortho]

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by hev
definately a favorite. does anyone know when the new episodes are going to start?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



spring 2005

post first, then smoke crack.


christ I'm bored.

[The Reverend Floater]

Originally posted by phUnk
Chris: "Dad, what's a blow-hole?"

Peter: "Well, I'll tell ya what it's not for. That will also explain why daddy isn't allowed back at Sea-World anymore."

My all time favorite FG quote. We pull that quote out at the bars. Love it.

[davey]

Lois: Peter, its seven in the morning!
Brian: Thanks for the update Big Ben.
Brian & Peter: Laughter
Lois: You're drunk again!
Peter: No, I'm just exhausted from bein' up all night drinkin'.
Lois: Listen, Peter, if keep this up something terrible's gonna happen.
Peter: Somethin' terrilble... all the way to the bank!
Brian: Nice.

[davey]

Take a drink
and you'll sink
to a state of pure inebriation
you'll be tanked
like the whole
Irish nation
when you drink enough
of my beer
you will find this magic brew'll
make your every joke
a jewel
you'll drive drunker than
Oxana Byull
go on buds
drink my suds
'till you've reached
that pure inebriation
though the beer
may be free
you're just renting
it from me

[davey]

Peter: Seriously, what's you friend's name?
Gore: Dick Armey.
[Peter laughs hysterically]
Peter: Yeah, right, and his wife's name is Vagina Coastguard...

[fez]

if you get cartoon network, family guy is on at midnight weekdays here.