Hi - my name is frozenwater, or alias & my life as I know it is over

[bedoe]

^^^^ I'm lucky enough to be married to a marriage counselor (?) showed her this tread and she agrees with the above posts. Sorry friend but thats all I got for you right now. Vibes.

[frozenwater]

Thanks a million everyone. You are my support. I don't have family really, so I turn to you guys.

She is taking positive steps. She has an appointment with a therapist in 2 weeks time.

I am keeping the house unrented though. I want to see if we can get on a good path. I want that option still open so I am not royally screwed and have to find an apartment or something to rent.

I am trying to play it cool. I am doing everything I can to show her this doesn't cut as deep.

Maggots rule - thanks a million

[beaterdit]

Fred I only met you once or twice but I'm totally down to grab a beer if you want a change of scenery (SLC). Just shoot me a PM.

Never been married so I don't know if I can offer much advice but there's plenty here who can and have. You've got a lot of good peeps in your corner, don't forget that. This will get better, one way or another.

-Sam

[TyWebb]

Good on ya for putting on the tough face right now, that's the right thing to do. Don't forget that you've got dozens of people in this thread willing to do all they can to help...that's more than a lot of guys have. Good luck.

[rideit]

^^^^ I'm lucky enough to be married to a marriage counselor (?) showed her this tread and she agrees with the above posts. Sorry friend but thats all I got for you right now. Vibes.

Which posts, exactly?
Just curious.

[hutash]

Another vote for not chasing after her to vigorously. All couples need some distance, that doesn't mean fucking around, but it does mean some time with the boys, or just the occasional separate vacation.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" and all that bullshit is true (to a point).

[warthog]

Another vote for not chasing after her to vigorously. All couples need some distance, that doesn't mean fucking around, but it does mean some time with the boys, or just the occasional separate vacation.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" and all that bullshit is true (to a point).

It really doesn't mean being her puppy dog either. You need to re-invent yourself. You guys have been married a long time, during a period in life where a ton of shit changes. She has changed, but in her eyes, you haven't. Start changing. It will do you a ton of good, and she might like the new Fred. As much as that sucks, that is what it breaks down to. Start working out, eating better, etc. Do it for you, not for anyone else. It will make you feel awesome, and your family will see the changes. Don't worry about being super dad or super husband, just worry about you for a while.

[iceman]

Don't worry about being super dad or super husband, just worry about you for a while.

If that's too big of a step you could worry about me for a while. "What Would Iceman Want?" can be your new slogan.

[Tap]

If that's too big of a step you could worry about me for a while. "What Would Iceman Want?" can be your new slogan.

The answer: A cocktail.

[frozenwater]

Dammit Ice, I wanted to bring the funny to this thread.

I was going to go with quoting how phunk's parents divorced, and look how he turned out, then stating "oh GOD no!!!!!!!". You know, something simple.

OR I was going to ask phunk if his parents divorce affected his car buying decisions, and thats why he needed a crossover. But alas the moment passed, and I missed my chance.

Probably for the best - I don't want to make phunk feel bad.

[iceman]

The answer: A cocktail.

Hey, look, it's after 12:00 here!!

[Tap]

Only by 10 mintues.

Clink clink. Splash splash. Glug glug.

[altachic]

Fred-we're hoping that all turns out for the best, however that may be.

Just wanted to let ya know we've been thinkin' of you.

[ill-advised strategy]

If that's too big of a step you could worry about me for a while. "What Would Iceman Want?" can be your new slogan.

The answer: A cocktail.

new ski jeans?

[Lonnie]

FW,

I didn't take the time to read the whole thread. I went thru something similar last year. My alias was (is?) Mr Sparkle. A year out, I can't tell you how much happier I am. It just takes time mang. Your whole world is getting flipped upside down. Just let things reset. I can tell you the worst part for me was adjusting to the IDEA that I was going to be divorced. All of the what I thought to be percieved judgements from others, and everything else heaped upon it was way worse in my head than reality. In the real world, my friends and family still love me and always will. As soon as I figured that out, it was full speed ahead.

Best of luck, you've got mail...

[bedoe]

We have a winner! The more you fight to pull her back the more she will pull away. Not to get all Freudian on you but its clear your self esteem is too wrapped up in her approval, and its creating an uneven balance of power in your relationship.
If you really want to save this, you're going to have to act contrary to whatever your mind and heart and anguish are telling (screaming at?) you, and play it cool. Act like you're not hurt by the situation maybe even pretend to be enthusiastic about the separation. Focus all your attention to your daughters and yourself, don't let your wife see your pain, be the man, play hard to get..all these are good things and will make her respect you more. Even if this works and I suspect it will, for the long term you've got to start deriving your sense of worth from yourself... my $.02. Good luck my friend.

That one.

[Xover]

Fred,

I have been in your shoes; you know that. I empathize with both you and the Mrs. My thoughts and prayers are with you, your wife and your girls. If you need to unload/talk with someone familiar with this kind of pain that you consider a friend - you know how to get ahold of me.

[irul&ublo]

If that's too big of a step you could worry about me for a while. "What Would Iceman Want?" can be your new slogan.

The answer: A cock.

..........

[iceman]

Not a very inspired effort, irul.

Now HERE'S a guy who wants a cock:

[Sublime]

If that's too big of a step you could worry about me for a while. "What Would Iceman Want?" can be your new slogan.

A new maul.

it's an oldie but a goodie kinda like ice.

Glad to hear your doing a little bit better frozen.

[Buzzworthy]

Fred
you have a good friend in west jordan too.

Actually 2 if you wanted.

I NEED resources on how to tell this kind of thing to kids. Any links? Advice? - I have not intention of bringing down thier mother to them or blaming her to them, etc. So that is not a concern.

Please contact my wife, seriously.



Edit: Fred, I have known you for a long time as well, through good and bad. I also know you have a tendency to bottle things up (I do too) and then they all come out at once (see Letter to an Asshole).
As I read your comments here, don't be scared to tell the truth, even if it is not what you want to say. Honesty is going to be one of your biggest assets here. You are a good person by nature and we all have our little downfalls. Just don't bottle it.



I forgave you a long time ago. Just saying you have another person here.

[teledave]

Frozen, hang it there. I've been to that brink before and it's not someplace I want to go back to. Remember you can't affect change on anyone other than yourself. Be the best you can be, be it in marriage, separation, or divorce. That's all anyone can ask of you, and that's all you can ask of yourself.

[Tippster]

You are a good person by nature and we all have our little downfalls. Just don't bottle it.

But what if that's what iceman wants? Not much tastier than bottled downfalls - some call it Bourbon.

[jibij]

But what if that's what iceman wants? Not much tastier than bottled downfalls - some call it Bourbon.

Some call it the gangster of love.
Some people call it Maurice.



iceman - your picture posting rights have been revoked.

[iceman]

iceman - your picture posting rights have been revoked.

1. SSD posted it first.

2. It's A-Rod, one of his beloved Yankees! Who loves the cock!