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Thread: Saliva Drug Testing- WTF

  1. #1
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    Unhappy Saliva Drug Testing- WTF

    I just got the word that I have to take a Saliva drug test in week.

    Now I smoke a shit pile of weed, hence "Weed Man"

    Everything I read says that the test only covers the last 2-3 days of use.

    Is that true?? Have any chronic smokers ever passed a saliva drug test by only stopping for a couple of days???

    seems too good to be true

    HELPPPPPP

  2. #2
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    Just wash your mouth out with some Clorox. Or E85. You'll be good.
    Bush got C's.... Obama probably failed lunch

  3. #3
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    Take a hot chick to the test with you and make out with her right before. If you come up postitive, blame it on her. Win-Win.
    This is the worst pain EVER!

  4. #4
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    They're not paying you based on a 24-hour day, are they? So how is it they get to control your life? Refuse to take the test.
    "Active management in bear markets tends to outperform. Unfortunately, investors are not as elated with relative returns when they are negative. But it does support the argument that active management adds value." -- independent fund analyst Peter Loach

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cliff Huckable View Post
    Refuse to take the test. This is the perfect time to explore job hunting, unemployment benefits, all that fun stuff!
    c'mon cliff, while i agree with ya 1100% in theory, this ain't a great idea in practice...

    i don't know shit about spit...but be glad it ain't a hair sample!
    Something about the wrinkle in your forehead tells me there's a fit about to get thrown
    And I never hear a single word you say when you tell me not to have my fun
    It's the same old shit that I ain't gonna take off anyone.
    and I never had a shortage of people tryin' to warn me about the dangers I pose to myself.

    Patterson Hood of the DBT's

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cliff Huckable View Post
    They're not paying you based on a 24-hour day, are they? So how is it they get to control your life? Refuse to take the test.
    True, but companies get around this by stating that their employees must exhibit professionalism at all times. Even when off the clock.

  7. #7
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    So, cliff, if he starts at 8:00 he can smoke right up to 7:55, right? After all, that's his time.

    ps. refusing to take a drug test for me = unemployment for you!
    Living vicariously through myself.

  8. #8
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    Saliva drug screen / Oral fluid-based drug screen

    Saliva / oral fluid-based drug tests can generally detect use during the previous few days. Saliva or oral fluid based drug tests are becoming more prevalent because of their convenience and the fact that they are very difficult to adulterate. Furthermore, on-site oral based tests in particular enable the implementation of random testing programs, proven to be the most effective type of drug screening. Oral fluid based tests are as accurate as urine and can be obtained from suppliers in the United States. Testing is usually performed by employers, for either pre-employment, random, post-accident, reasonable suspicion, or return-to-duty testing. Oral fluid based testing most closely mimics results found with blood and is preferable for detecting on-the-job drug use or in post-accident applications in this case because the degree of intoxication can be approximated based on the amount of substance.

    Detection in saliva tests begins immediately upon use:

    * Marijuana and hashish (THC): an hour after ingestion up to 24 hours.
    * Cocaine (including crack): From time of ingestion up to 2 to 3 days
    * Opiates: From time of ingestion up to 2 to 3 days
    * Methamphetamine ("Tweak," "crank," "ice") and ecstasy (MDMA, "Molly") : From time of ingestion up to 2 to 3 days.
    * Benzodiazepines: From time of ingestion up to 2 to 3 days
    * Amphetamines
    * Phencyclidine (PCP)
    Wikipedia

    Blood tests generally register positive for just a few hours after smoking, though heavy chronic smokers may be positive for a couple of days. Less sensitive are saliva tests, which register positive for about 2-4 hours after smoking. If you have used marijuana in the last few days but are not currently under the influence, you should insist on a blood (or saliva) test instead of a urine test if at all possible, since you are more likely to turn up clean.
    NORML Drug Testing Tips


    Looks to me like a company that chooses saliva testing is hoping you'll pass but give them a fig leaf of respectability.
    not counting days 2016-17

  9. #9
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    As a company who uses the saliva test regularly, a couple pointers:

    1. The test is prone to human error and can give false positives
    2. If your employer has a lick of sense, they will call a positive 'inconclusive' and send you to pee.
    3. Prepare for a piss test.

    If you're already employed they will not fire you based on a self administered test. They're begging for a wrongful termination suit if they do. Start cleaning up now i.e. lots of water, fruit and NO MORE HERB.

    edit: and the saliva test is the cheapest option given to employers. I'm surprised it hasn't come up more often.
    Last edited by DJSapp; 03-16-2009 at 04:16 PM.
    I've concluded that DJSapp was never DJSapp, and Not DJSapp is also not DJSapp, so that means he's telling the truth now and he was lying before.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJSapp View Post
    2. If your employer has a lick of sense.....
    That's funny right there...
    This is the worst pain EVER!

  11. #11
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    Salvia test, what has the world come to. Thats fucking funny. I cant wait until all plants are illegal and all we have left is bacon and beef. Lets kill all the frogs too, and make bananas illegal, and mushroom swiss burgers, and poppy seed bagels, and those magic eye posters. I think I got high on some cat nip once and thats just like oregano so lets include that too.
    Not doing my job right now

  12. #12
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    ^^^ LOL. Reading comprehension BRA.... fuckin SALIVA not SALVIA

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by ProHoHater View Post
    Salvia test, what has the world come to.
    Who knew: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salvia_divinorum? Not me.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tippster View Post
    Sometimes I think you guys are some of the smartest people on the web, other times I wonder if you were shaken as babies.

  14. #14
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    I bet WeedMan has salvia saliva.

  15. #15
    Smokey McPole Guest
    Weed man - you need to start slamming heroin 6 times a day RIGHT NOW. That will mask any traces of THC that may be in your system. The beauty of this method is that YOU CAN STILL GO ON SMOKING AS MUCH WEED AS YOU WANT!

  16. #16
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    Isn't Saliva legal?
    Its not that I suck at spelling, its that I just don't care

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by BurnHard View Post
    ^^^ LOL. Reading comprehension BRA.... fuckin SALIVA not SALVIA
    Baaaahaa! Dude, I'm really high right now. My boss just got me super riped on this blueberry. Thank god he only does salvia and could care less about my saliva.
    Not doing my job right now

  18. #18
    BSS Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Whiteroom_Guardian View Post
    True, but companies get around this by stating that their employees must exhibit professionalism at all times. Even when off the clock.
    So, like...... no more masturbating?

  19. #19
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    Your probably going to test positive for giving blowjobs.
    Will they fire you for that ?
    Took me like 10 minutes to figure out how to change this shit

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by BurnHard View Post
    ^^^ LOL. Reading comprehension BRA.... fuckin SALIVA not SALVIA
    I thought that at first too. They need to rename that shit. the other day my boss showed me a video called "driving on salvia". At first I mis-read it and thought it was about a spit fueled car. I mean he's into all kindsa tree huggery shit, but I thought that was a bit extreme/unpossible. Man I felt like an idiot once I saw the video.

    So um to the OP, ditch the marihuana (gotta love the 50s spelling) for a few days and only smoke salvia, it's legal so they shouldn't be checking you saliva for it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tunco perfectly summarizing TGR View Post
    It is like Days of Our Lives', but with retards.

  21. #21
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    start smoking a shitload of cigs, that should cover it up. If they are only testing for 2-3 days of use, i think they more looking if you are using during the work week. If they gave a fuck, theyd be piss testing you.
    Last edited by cramer; 03-16-2009 at 08:43 PM.

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by BSS View Post
    So, like...... no more masturbating?
    Shouldn't be a problem, as long as you do it in a professional manner. Use Wite-Out as lube, blow your load into a TPS report cover sheet, and don't forget to change your out-of-office AutoReply to "I regret to inform you that I will be masturbating furiously and unavailable for the next two to four minutes."

  23. #23
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    Smoke until you get cotton mouth. Test defeated.
    .....Visit my website. .....

    "a yin without a yang"

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Weed Man View Post
    I just got the word that I have to take a Saliva drug test in week.

    Now I smoke a shit pile of weed, hence "Weed Man"

    Everything I read says that the test only covers the last 2-3 days of use.

    Is that true?? Have any chronic smokers ever passed a saliva drug test by only stopping for a couple of days???

    seems too good to be true

    HELPPPPPP

    I've passed the saliva test with less than 24 hours having elapsed. No joke. My friend who I worked with took a bunch of tests home and claims that the cutoff is 14 hours. I wouldn't sweat it. However, I wouldn't push the limit either; if you're worried about a false positive and subsequent piss test start de-toxing now, I hear lots of water and fruit pectin is nearly surefire
    "The world is a very puzzling place. If you're not willing to be puzzled you just become a replica of someone else's mind." Chomsky

    "This system make of us slaves. Without dignity. Without depth. No? With a devil in our pocket. This incredible money in our pocket. This money. This shit. This nothing. This paper who have nothing inside." Jodorowsky

  25. #25
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    ok i'm confused. is it a salvia test, a saliva test, or a sativa test.

    and more importantly, how do i get high on saliva?

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