Saliva Drug Testing- WTF

[powdork]

Back when I was in a tested position with thousands of lives at stake I passed pee tests by drinking vinegar on the way to the test. then one time i didn't pass and it makes me think they send you down to test and then only randomly actually test the urine. either that or i didn't drink enough vinegar. good times.

[mmmm...pow!]

They're not paying you based on a 24-hour day, are they? So how is it they get to control your life? Refuse to take the test.

Yeah, you could refuse the test, but the company can refuse to give you any work. In the economy we've got now, I think they wouldn't have trouble finding someone that will comply.
I've always thought drug test were bullshit, particularly testing for weed, which can be in your system for a month. It's good to know the saliva test only shows use within the past day or so, seems way more reasonable than getting screwed because you might have gotten baked a few weeks prior (but still bullshit). So what's the best way to ask for the saliva test vs. whiz quiz without sounding suspicious? Just say you can't pee and blast a loogie in the cup?

[Swine]

So what's the best way to ask for the saliva test vs. whiz quiz without sounding suspicious? Just say you can't pee and blast a loogie in the cup?

Haha! Might work, although in my experience sometimes companies don't make that decision, the workers comp. regulations or state regulations do. I worked at an engineering firm, workers comp. made them take me to an independent testing facility and have me piss in a cup (I have an amazing back story (thermometers, tiny bottles, tight under armor boxers et. al. to how I passed this one if anyone wants to buy me a beer in SLC this week). My friend just got a job at a shitty nursing home in Ohio, they did an in house piss test and he pretty much failed it but convinced the person administering that he didn't smoke and she said "I can sort of see the line coming across, welcome aboard!". And then there are the places that do saliva tests, pretty much they don't give a fuck. Everyone knows the test has the shortest indication time, and I'm pretty sure it's also the cheapest.

Just tell 'em you have a shy bladder...

[Making a Pizza]

Salvia test, what has the world come to. Thats fucking funny. I cant wait until all plants are illegal and all we have left is bacon and beef. Lets kill all the frogs too, and make bananas illegal, and mushroom swiss burgers, and poppy seed bagels, and those magic eye posters. I think I got high on some cat nip once and thats just like oregano so lets include that too.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT THE MUSHROOM SWISS BURGERSSSSS!

[yodaottis]

Tell them what you do on your own time is your own business and quit.
Edit: Reading comprehension fail.

[Tippster]

Tell them what you do on your own time is your own business and quit.
Let them enjoy hiring/keeping on alcoholics, meth addicts and junkies through their flawed, pot-testing logic.

You didn't read the thread, did you.

Detection in saliva tests begins immediately upon use:

* Marijuana and hashish (THC): an hour after ingestion up to 24 hours.
* Cocaine (including crack): From time of ingestion up to 2 to 3 days
* Opiates: From time of ingestion up to 2 to 3 days
* Methamphetamine ("Tweak," "crank," "ice") and ecstasy (MDMA, "Molly") : From time of ingestion up to 2 to 3 days.
* Benzodiazepines: From time of ingestion up to 2 to 3 days
* Amphetamines
* Phencyclidine (PCP)

To the OP: Sounds to me like they are testing you because they have to for insurance, but have given you a heads-up and are using the easiest test to pass IN THE HOPE YOU CLEAN UP A BIT AND PASS.

If they wanted to screw you they'd take a hair sample.

[sconniestyle]

i know everyone has a story like this, but in the vein of stopping any possible stress over this, here is what my buddy did to pass a spit test.

he smoked on the way into work, was suprised with a spit test upon entering, on his way down to the hr office to take it, he bought a pepsi or a coke from the vending machine, swished it around in his mouth and spit it out, drank a little cause he was thirsty, and passed the test.

don't smoke they day before/of the test and you should be fine.

[yodaottis]

You didn't read the thread, did you.

I read it, I just apparently suck today. Testing in any way really strikes a nerve in me as long as people aren't intoxicated/hungover while actually on the job.
More 'fair' than a piss test but still a violation of your privacy in my opinion.

[DoWork]

They're not paying you based on a 24-hour day, are they? So how is it they get to control your life? Refuse to take the test.

Cliff takes off his "Hey you can't do that- It's illegal" hat juuuust long enough to be a douche. Again.

Hint: If they REALLY cared, you'd be looking at a piss test, a hair follicle test or even blood. They're giving you the easiest blowoff test that's meant to weed (heh) out only the biggest non-functioning potheads and junkies out there that can't get their shit straight for a fucking day. If you can't pass this test, you simply don't deserve a job. They're lobbing this one at you, nail it out of the park already.

[fallguy]

i belive these are for workers comp insurance purposes. everyone takes the test, everyone passes, employers rates decrease.
now they have a baseline on everyone. you get hurt, file a claim, new spit/pee test time. if you fail, emp. sez " your on drugs, and we don't have to cover your claim.....and your fired". if you don't take a pre-emp. test in their eyes you are an admited drug user/degenerate who is unemployeable.

[Dhelihiker]

Salvia is fucking nuts, if you ever want to enter the worm hole in your own mind, go for it. Do it in a padded room if possible, it will be the craziest 30 seconds of your life.

good luck on your test.

[DoWork]

Salvia is fucking nuts, if you ever want to enter the worm hole in your own mind, go for it. Do it in a padded room if possible, it will be the craziest 30 seconds of your life.

good luck on your test.

I'll second that. It's kinda like the dirtiest trip available. Crazy and random like liquid but nowhere near as fun- actually kinda scary and I have a lot of experience with psychies. If you tripped out by eating coffee mold spread over a dog shit sandwich, this is what it would be like. The first time I tried it I took a HUGE bong hit and held it in- as I blew it out, my buddy sitting across from me looked like he had a mirror on both sides of him- y'know that "off into forever" wierdness? And that was just the beginning- and it didn't feel good. I vowed never again. It's like the crack of weed, and it ain't cool. I don't even know how it's legal to be honest. One hit like I took while driving and it's smashville fo sho.

[yodaottis]

Salvia is intense indeed. Also short lived so in the case someone doesn't enjoy it they aren't committed for the next 15hours.
If you enjoy Salvia you may like dmt or 5meo-dmt. Although, it's kind of like saying if you enjoy beer you'll absolutely love 151.