What Becomes a Cougar Most? (DBNSR)

[Viva]

Originally posted by splat
Agreed. Agreed. Agreed. However, some tips for future prey shouldn't be out of order, should it?

Agreed!

Viva's tip o' the day for snaring a Coug:

So you're in the ski area bar and you spy the wily feline. Order a Coke or Pepsi-it matters not what kind. Approach the Coug and get her attention. Now, carefully, while looking a little nervous, ask her in a sheepish voice: (No, Pinner, not that kind of sheepish voice!)

"Uhh, Mamm. Could you please pour a little of your drink into
my soda? I can't order alcohol here because I forgot my
fake ID."


Now, watch! Marvel at how her ears perk up, how her eyes widen, how she looks you up and down ever so diliberately, watch as she licks her lips slowly and run her paws through her mane once or twice.

Move in...just a little closer.

A subtle smile appear on her snout, perhaps even baring her fangs a little. Look down at your feet for just a second and then slowly raise your head and look her in the eyes. Give her that innocent young fawn look and...then...smile- not too much, just enough to let her know that you know.

She hands over her drink. "Here, finish this. I'll order more for both of us."

You've snared her, Young Jedi.

As she leans over the bar to hail the bartender, she turns and presses a breast into your arm, some of her mane will fall over, towards your face, her pheromones waft over you. Control! Don't lose it now, one wrong move and it's over- those claws are deadly.

Tell her about how you're on a ski trip with your internet friends and how your back hurts from sleeping on the floor because you're sharing a single room with 10 other Maggots. She'll stop you in mid sentence and take your hand "Come with me, I know what you need"

Ooooh, look at the time. Lunch break is over- Gotta go!

[altachic]

Whoa, you guys are good at this....no wonder us younger girls don't have a chance.

[Game Over]

Originally posted by Pinner
http://www.destinationhollywood.com/...dyshack_02.jpg
"Oh Mrs. Crane, you're a little monkey woman. Yeah, you're lean, mean, and I bet you're not too far in between are ya. How'd you like to wrap your spikes around my..."

Bwaaa HAAa!!!!

[grrrr]

I had a Colorado Cougar almost attack me last time I was there. I skied up to the lift and she skied from her vantage point right up next to me, timing it so she could ask in a sulky voice if she could ride with.

She was upset when she got there to find out I was almost as old as she. She was rude to me the whole ride up after that.

I guess I no longer qualify as prey.

[Lumpy]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Ted Stryker
[B]what precisely makes a cougar?

In the literal sense...http://www.scottrose.com/cougpic/coug18big.gif

[L7]

This just keeps getting better!

[splat]

INTO SKIN LAIR....

full details below.............

[funkendrenchman]

Cougars... gotten.

[Lumpy]

Originally posted by funkendrenchman
Cougars... gotten.

That looks like the pre-baiting process, simply luring them in with promises of stallion-like stamina and lies of virginistic tendencies...lets see the kill shots!!! Preferably skinned out...

[funkendrenchman]

Originally posted by Lumpy
That looks like the pre-baiting process, simply luring them in with promises of stallion-like stamina and lies of virginistic tendencies...lets see the kill shots!!! Preferably skinned out...

Sorry the light for the camera wasn't too good.

[teledave]

Originally posted by splat

...Her thoughts sizzle with cunning plots that race through her mind like an antelope fleeing for its life.

Cunning.... there's just something I like about that word. Linguistically speaking.

[splat]

INTO SKIN LAIR....

The witty cougar is not only a predatory creature, but a preparatory predator as well. Her every move has been mulled and refined over many a hot toddy enjoyed on dead bunny rugs in front of a simmering fireplace. Her thoughts sizzle with cunning plots that race through her mind like an antelope fleeing for its life.

As the unsuspecting prey enters the lair, the first thing that comes into vision is the setting. Like walking into a Homes and Garden pictorial. Candles with matches next to them. Ice bucket.
The doobie tray. A quaint mirror with a vial. Horse tranquilizers. Everything is in place. And he hasn't even seen the bedroom yet.
In a seductive tone, exuding confidence and expertise, she asks him to please sit down. He's thinking munchies. Won't be happening. She has a fine selection of wine, but whether she will offer it or hard liqour depends upon her pace. She asks him to throw a log on the fire. (Nooooooo ... that request is still out there beyond a few more choice moves. She enjoys the hunt.) She'll pour a drink, tell him to take his shoes off, slide onto the couch next to him. And then she begins the hypnosis.........

Tales of world travel and a consecutive string of rich ex-husbands is standard lore for the accomplished cougar. Her exotic escapades entice the novice into a mesmerized desire to have a piece of the action, literally and figuratively. He envisions waking up next to her in faraway lands, butlers and maids doting over his needs, driving a sports car along a distant shore, runs in the Alps and the Andes, getting some young stuff on the side when she has to fly to Geneva for banking purposes. The inebriating possibilities, combined with alcohol and illicit appertifs, glaze his eyes. A strange tingling develops down the back of his neck. He suddenly realizes, as he momentarily comes to his senses, the trap has been laid, he's about to be, and something in the drink has disabled all function in his legs. He eyes widen, dashing across the room, as panic sets in. He looks for an escape route accessible by crawling. As he pans the ceiling and walls looking for an exit, there she is...suddenly...standing in the bedroom door, wearing only a silk robe carelessly tied in an intentionally loose overhand knot, hanging open just enough to allow...drool to ooze off his lower lip onto the ten thousand dollar leather couch in her slopeside condo with a hot tub. He knows he's been had and slumps down, giving up, surrendering to the felonious feline that has laid in wait for such easy prey as he has proven himself. In classic animal ritual, he bares his neck....



[to be continued...when I get time, or someone else can run with it. It'd be great to compile all the info in this thread into a complete guide to cougar hunting. I know how to turn it into a book.]

[Plakespear]

Alex P. Keaton and I spotted a cougar at the Warren Miller show last night. It was pretty funny.

[Cornholio]

Wait a second.

Since when did cougars become a bad thing?

Older good looking woman, wants sex with no strings attached.

You guys are talking like you'd try to get out of this situation. What the hell is that about?

Speaking from the perspective of one-time cougar prey, I'll posit that certain things are always perfected with practice, and anyone trying to get out of this situation is denying themselves the benefit of being on the recieving end of 10 or 15 years of experience.

[Dr. Crash]

Originally posted by teledave
Cunning.... there's just something I like about that word. Linguistically speaking.

Cunnilingus jokes comin' right back.

drC