FEB. 28, 1969: ON THE DONG CUNG RIVER

[truth]

`This is what I saw that day'

By William B. Rood
Chicago Tribune
Published August 22, 2004

There were three swift boats on the river that day in Vietnam more than 35 years ago--three officers and 15 crew members. Only two of those officers remain to talk about what happened on February 28, 1969.

One is John Kerry, the Democratic presidential candidate who won a Silver Star for what happened on that date. I am the other.

For years, no one asked about those events. But now they are the focus of skirmishing in a presidential election with a group of swift boat veterans and others contending that Kerry didn't deserve the Silver Star for what he did on that day, or the Bronze Star and three Purple Hearts he was awarded for other actions.

Many of us wanted to put it all behind us--the rivers, the ambushes, the killing. Ever since that time, I have refused all requests for interviews about Kerry's service--even those from reporters at the Chicago Tribune, where I work.

But Kerry's critics, armed with stories I know to be untrue, have charged that the accounts of what happened were overblown. The critics have taken pains to say they're not trying to cast doubts on the merit of what others did, but their version of events has splashed doubt on all of us. It's gotten harder and harder for those of us who were there to listen to accounts we know to be untrue, especially when they come from people who were not there.

Even though Kerry's own crew members have backed him, the attacks have continued, and in recent days Kerry has called me and others who were with him in those days, asking that we go public with our accounts.

I can't pretend those calls had no effect on me, but that is not why I am writing this. What matters most to me is that this is hurting crewmen who are not public figures and who deserved to be honored for what they did. My intent is to tell the story here and to never again talk publicly about it.

I was part of the operation that led to Kerry's Silver Star. I have no firsthand knowledge of the events that resulted in his winning the Purple Hearts or the Bronze Star.

But on Feb. 28, 1969, I was officer in charge of PCF-23, one of three swift boats--including Kerry's PCF-94 and Lt. j.g. Donald Droz's PCF-43--that carried Vietnamese regional and Popular Force troops and a Navy demolition team up the Dong Cung, a narrow tributary of the Bay Hap River, to conduct a sweep in the area.

The approach of the noisy 50-foot aluminum boats, each driven by two huge 12-cylinder diesels and loaded down with six crew members, troops and gear, was no secret.

Ambushes were a virtual certainty, and that day was no exception.

Instructions from Kerry

The difference was that Kerry, who had tactical command of that particular operation, had talked to Droz and me beforehand about not responding the way the boats usually did to an ambush.

We agreed that if we were not crippled by the initial volley and had a clear fix on the location of the ambush, we would turn directly into it, focusing the boats' twin .50-caliber machine guns on the attackers and beaching the boats. We told our crews about the plan.

The Viet Cong in the area had come to expect that the heavily loaded boats would lumber on past an ambush, firing at the entrenched attackers, beaching upstream and putting troops ashore to sweep back down on the ambush site. Often, they were long gone by the time the troops got there.

The first time we took fire--the usual rockets and automatic weapons--Kerry ordered a "turn 90" and the three boats roared in on the ambush. It worked. We routed the ambush, killing three of the attackers. The troops, led by an Army adviser, jumped off the boats and began a sweep, which killed another half dozen VC, wounded or captured others and found weapons, blast masks and other supplies used to stage ambushes.

Meanwhile, Kerry ordered our boat to head upstream with his, leaving Droz's boat at the first site.

It happened again, another ambush. And again, Kerry ordered the turn maneuver, and again it worked. As we headed for the riverbank, I remember seeing a loaded B-40 launcher pointed at the boats. It wasn't fired as two men jumped up from their spider holes.

We called Droz's boat up to assist us, and Kerry, followed by one member of his crew, jumped ashore and chased a VC behind a hooch--a thatched hut--maybe 15 yards inland from the ambush site. Some who were there that day recall the man being wounded as he ran. Neither I nor Jerry Leeds, our boat's leading petty officer with whom I've checked my recollection of all these events, recalls that, which is no surprise. Recollections of those who go through experiences like that frequently differ.

With our troops involved in the sweep of the first ambush site, Richard Lamberson, a member of my crew, and I also went ashore to search the area. I was checking out the inside of the hooch when I heard gunfire nearby.

Not long after that, Kerry returned, reporting that he had killed the man he chased behind the hooch. He also had picked up a loaded B-40 rocket launcher, which we took back to our base in An Thoi after the operation.

John O'Neill, author of a highly critical account of Kerry's Vietnam service, describes the man Kerry chased as a "teenager" in a "loincloth." I have no idea how old the gunner Kerry chased that day was, but both Leeds and I recall that he was a grown man, dressed in the kind of garb the VC usually wore.

The man Kerry chased was not the "lone" attacker at that site, as O'Neill suggests. There were others who fled. There was also firing from the tree line well behind the spider holes and at one point, from the opposite riverbank as well. It was not the work of just one attacker.

Our initial reports of the day's action caused an immediate response from our task force headquarters in Cam Ranh Bay.

Congratulatory message

Known over radio circuits by the call sign "Latch," then-Capt. and now retired Rear Adm. Roy Hoffmann, the task force commander, fired off a message congratulating the three swift boats, saying at one point that the tactic of charging the ambushes was a "shining example of completely overwhelming the enemy" and that it "may be the most efficacious method of dealing with small numbers of ambushers."

Hoffmann has become a leading critic of Kerry's and now says that what the boats did on that day demonstrated Kerry's inclination to be impulsive to a fault.

Our decision to use that tactic under the right circumstances was not impulsive but was the result of discussions well beforehand and a mutual agreement of all three boat officers.

It was also well within the aggressive tradition that was embraced by the late Adm. Elmo Zumwalt, then commander of U.S. Naval Forces, Vietnam. Months before that day in February, a fellow boat officer, Michael Bernique, was summoned to Saigon to explain to top Navy commanders why he had made an unauthorized run up the Giang Thanh River, which runs along the Vietnam-Cambodia border. Bernique, who speaks French fluently, had been told by a source in Ha Tien at the mouth of the river that a VC tax collector was operating upstream.

Ignoring the prohibition against it, Bernique and his crew went upstream and routed the VC, pursuing and killing several.

Instead of facing disciplinary action as he had expected, Bernique was given the Silver Star, and Zumwalt ordered other swifts, which had largely patrolled coastal waters, into the rivers.

The decision sent a clear message, underscored repeatedly by Hoffmann's congratulatory messages, that aggressive patrolling was expected and that well-timed, if unconventional, tactics like Bernique's were encouraged.

What we did on Feb. 28, 1969, was well in line with the tone set by our top commanders.

Zumwalt made that clear when he flew down to our base at An Thoi off the southern tip of Vietnam to pin the Silver Star on Kerry and assorted Bronze Stars and commendation medals on the rest of us.

[truth]

Error in citation

My Bronze Star citation, signed by Zumwalt, praised the charge tactic we used that day, saying the VC were "caught completely off guard."

There's at least one mistake in that citation. It incorrectly identifies the river where the main action occurred, a reminder that such documents were often done in haste and sometimes authored for their signers by staffers. It's a cautionary note for those trying to piece it all together. There's no final authority on something that happened so long ago--not the documents and not even the strained recollections of those of us who were there.

But I know that what some people are saying now is wrong. While they mean to hurt Kerry, what they're saying impugns others who are not in the public eye.

Men like Larry Lee, who was on our bow with an M-60 machine gun as we charged the riverbank, Kenneth Martin, who was in the .50-caliber gun tub atop our boat, and Benjamin Cueva, our engineman, who was at our aft gun mount suppressing the fire from the opposite bank.

Wayne Langhoffer and the other crewmen on Droz's boat went through even worse on April 12, 1969, when they saw Droz killed in a brutal ambush that left PCF-43 an abandoned pile of wreckage on the banks of the Duong Keo River. That was just a few months after the birth of his only child, Tracy.

The survivors of all these events are scattered across the country now.

Jerry Leeds lives in a tiny Kansas town where he built and sold a successful printing business. He owns a beautiful home with a lawn that sweeps to the edge of a small lake, which he also owns. Every year, flights of purple martins return to the stately birdhouses on the tall poles in his back yard.

Cueva, recently retired, has raised three daughters and is beloved by his neighbors for all the years he spent keeping their cars running. Lee is a senior computer programmer in Kentucky, and Lamberson finished a second military career in the Army.

With the debate over that long-ago day in February, they're all living that war another time.
Copyright © 2004, Chicago Tribune

[mr_gyptian]

Truth, thank you. This being an issue is specifically why in 70 days Kerry is going to get his ass handed to him. Why in hell would his strategists make a mere four months of military service into the Centerpiece of his campaign? He was on that boat for four months, came back to the states and protested the war while he was still in the reserves. He accused his "band of brothers" of war crimes in front of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. He was against the war, why talk about your service in it?

Oh, and regarding Cambodia. Has a presidential candidate had a worse month in history? His staff cannot even figure out the geography of Southeast Asia to come up with a response.

I simply don't get it. I almost think Kerry or Lehane is a Karl Rove mole. Why would they do this. According to you all there are plenty of reasons for "regime change".

[The Reverend Floater]

Originally posted by mr_gyptian
I simply don't get it.

*yawn*

[A-wreck]

Originally posted by The Reverend Floater
*yawn*

[Schmear]

Originally posted by mr_gyptian
Why in hell would his strategists make a mere four months of military service into the Centerpiece of his campaign?

It must be a nice pretend world you live in, Mr. G.

[mr_gyptian]

Pretend? Pretend that I fought an illegal war in Cambodia? Seemingly something that had been "seared...seared" into me would...ummh, be true.

[A-wreck]

Originally posted by Schmear
It must be a nice pretend world you live in, Mr. G.

huh? what do you mean by this?

I don't understand why they brought up his military service at all.....I mean with all the discrepincies(sp?) regarding his service and what he did/did not say or do and all the crap about his medals............his campaign jumped into a fire that they started ............now they've spent their entire campaign defending themselves.........

it didn't seem that smart to me to bring it up in the first place......especially in the state this country is in w/the war in Iraq.....and knowing how sensitive people get over the military record and shit

[The Reverend Floater]

Originally posted by mr_gyptian
Pretend? Pretend that I fought an illegal war in Cambodia? Seemingly something that had been "seared...seared" into me would...ummh, be true.

He means you're nuts.

[Buster Highmen]

Originally posted by mr_gyptian


I simply don't get it.

With each and every post, you make this more and more clear.

[The Reverend Floater]

My problem...and perhaps my others' problem with Bush is how easily has commited our troops and happily spent over a thousand lives (these are REAL PEOPLE, mind you--skiers, dads, moms, neighbors, voters, friends) without the slightest idea of what war is like. A good friend's father, who still carries shrapnel all over his body from 2 tours including Saigon and Kai Sai (spelling/) as a M-60 guy, recently said to us "I'd give a million dollars to give that arrogant dumbfuck 15 minutes of my life".

[bdog]

Originally posted by The Reverend Floater
"I'd give a million dollars to give that arrogant dumbfuck 15 minutes of my life".

Before Mr G or someone else jumps on it; No, one does not have to have been in combat to be able to commit troops or to understand when armed conflict is nessecary. That being said, the greater problem is that G. W. Bush has no clue as to when it is appropriate. And as the media circus revolves around what Lt. JG Kerry did or did not do 35 years ago, they miss the point. What did GW Bush do? Oh, that's right, he forgot to show up for 12 months of duty missing a mandatory physical to gain flight status. Kerry's opposition to the war upon returning was not unique. He did not "turn on his band of brothers" but raised valid and serious questions on US Policy in South East Asia.

[Schmear]

Sorry, that was a bit of a knee-jerk reaction. But to say that his strategists have made those four months the centerpiece of his campaign is to ignore those who've fought just as hard to sidetrack this election to 1969. However, the point is certainly valid that by saluting and saying "reporting for duty" in his most important political speech, and by parading his Vietnam service--no matter how legitimate his service may have been--Kerry opened a can of worms.

[The AD]

Originally posted by A-wreck
I don't understand why they brought up his military service at all

Maybe because to most people he would he considered a war hero. That is everyone who isn't pissed at him for his anti-war stance after these events and everyone intent on smearing him now since there's an election coming up. I just wonder how many people would criticize his war record had he not protested the war after he left Nam. I'm guessing not many. I think the bit in the Tribune article about the Admiral who flip-flopped () his opinion from Kerry being a hero to Kerry being impetuous is truly instructive.

[natty dread]

If the republicans can impugn the patriotism of Max Cleland and John McCain to achieve their political goals, they can/will do it to anyone. You can't deny the brilliance of Rove's scheme here involving the swift boat veterans for "truth" group.
--Bush gets pummelled for months by the liberal 527 groups like moveon and act, his approval ratings take a beating, seems like the dems are catching up with Bush's fundraising advantage with grassroots fundraising/political action on the internet by these groups (with a little help from Soros)
--Repubs, frightened at the fundraising prowess of these groups, bitterly protest the 527s and attempt to have them deemed illegal with no success.
--Bush is unable to fully the convince the American people that he fully completed his national guard service. Records are lost then found. Meanwhile, Kerry tours the country with his "band of brothers."
--Swiftboat veterans for truth, a group with numerous connections to the Bush administration/campaign, puts out ads that portray Kerry the war hero as Kerry the liar. Some of the veterans speaking out never served with Kerry, others contradict themselves and their previous statements about Kerry, some have close relationships with texas republicans like rove, and some admit that they are just pissed that Kerry spoke of wartime atrocities.
--John McCain asks Bush to repudiate these ads. Bush refuses, saying that he always honored Kerry's service (the old strategy of attacking with surrogates all the while denying the attacks are taking place and heaping praise on the opponent--just like rove/bush did with cleland and mccain).
--Kerry plays right into Rove's plan by refusing to stoop to their level and attack back--til he realizes the toll his silence has taken.
--Now that damage has been done to Kerry by Bush's (swiftboat veterans') baseless attacks and the pressure is mounting on Bush to distance himself from the ads after several newspapers have found the attacks on Kerry's service baseless, unsubstantiated and contradictory, NOW Bush calls for an end to the "politics of personal destruction" and issues a call for an end to all ads by outside groups.

So basically what Bush couldn't achieve legally or procedurally (the ending of ads by the 527s which were crippling his campaign) he is now attempting to achieve by dirty tricks, like lying about his opponent through surrogates in ads which are far more insidious than moveon's ever were, distancing himself from those lies, and then making an attempt to take the high road by calling for all the outside ads to stop, crying crocodile tears saying the ads "are bad for the system." And while making these calls for the terrible ads to end, Bush had the gall to say that he doesn't mean to imply that he is singling out the swift boat veterans for "truth" group--don't want to upset the boys who are making themselves liars for you Georgie boy. Amazing.
Gotta hand it to Rove...he's an evil genius. The same strategy worked to defeat the war heros Cleland and McCain. Hopefully more than 50% of the voters catch on to their scheme.

[truth]

Originally posted by natty dread

So basically what Bush couldn't achieve legally or procedurally (the ending of ads by the 527s which were crippling his campaign) he is now attempting to achieve by dirty tricks, like lying about his opponent through surrogates in ads which are far more insidious than moveon's ever were, distancing himself from those lies, and then making an attempt to take the high road by calling for all the outside ads to stop, crying crocodile tears saying the ads "are bad for the system."

Indeed. I want you on my team.

[summit]

I only listen to what John has to say about this.
















That's John Stewart btw...

[mr_gyptian]

Actually, Bush condemned the use of the 527 ads yesterday. But said they are bad for the political process, but that effectively it's a form of free speech. Thus, whether it's Moveon or the Swift boat. under current campaign finance laws. they cannot be stopped.

Kerry has lied multiple times about his service in Vietnam. He has lied about atrocities, he supposedly saw commited. He provided no specifics during his testimony in front of the U.S. Senate. That in itself is one of the most outrageous betrayals of one's country possible. He has the dubious distinction of having his press clippings used as fodder for prison camp interrogators.

He has brought this upon himself. pure and simple. With so much to attack Bush about. He gives us a "how to on the Mekong" for four days in Boston. Brilliant.

[truth]

Bride of Frankenberry?

Dave Barry (c) 2004 Tribune Media Services
Published August 22, 2004

I have received a disturbing letter from Mr. Frank J. Phillips, who describes himself as both a patriot and a Latin teacher.

I didn't realize we still had Latin teachers, but I'm glad we do, because contrary to what you think (and as a member of the news media, I know exactly what you think) Latin is not just an old dead language spoken by old dead guys who are no longer relevant because they are old and dead. In fact, Latin is the "mother tongue" (or "alma mater") of our own language (English): Many of the words and phrases we use every day are actually of Latin origin, including "etc.," "kazoo," "Roman numeral," "Caesar salad," "No way!" and "bling bling."

But Mr. Phillips did not write to me about Latin. He wrote to me about a troubling thing he has noticed; namely-and here I will quote Mr. Phillips, using his own words-"the complete male domination of the breakfast-cereal cartoon-spokescharacter world."

And he's right. Think about the characters representing your major cereal brands: Cap'n Crunch. Tony the Tiger. The Quaker Oats Quaker man. Toucan Sam. Count Chocula. Frankenberry. Lucky the Leprechaun. Snap, Crackle, and-yes-Pop. The Kellogg's rooster. The Trix Rabbit. All males!

(If you're wondering how I know that the Trix Rabbit is male, the answer is, I asked various people: "Is the Trix Rabbit male?" And they all said he was.)

Now many individuals, confronted with a social injustice of this magnitude, would choose to look the other way. But Frank J. Phillips is not "many individuals." He wrote a petition to the cereal companies and circulated it at his school, St. Mary's School in Medford, Ore., where many students signed the petition out of what I assume was a sincere desire to keep Mr. Phillips distracted from attempting to teach them Latin.

Some of the students also wrote letters expressing their deep, innermost feelings about this issue. "As a young girl," wrote one young girl, "I subconsciously grew to dislike cereal because I felt that I could not identify with the characters that represented cereal."

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking: "Dave, are you insane? Our nation is struggling to deal with war, worldwide terrorism, a mounting budget deficit, a health-care crisis and some very questionable votes on 'American Idol.' With all these serious problems facing us, how can you possibly ignore the Honey Nut Cheerios Honey Bee? Surely you wouldn't call IT a male?"

No, I would not. I would call it gender-neutral. And as the father of a 4-year-old girl, I do not want my daughter to grow up in a world where her cereal-spokesperson role model is an asexual bee.

Speaking of which, does anybody know why, when we explain human sexuality to young people, we refer to it as "the birds and the bees?" I am an observant person who has spent many hours outdoors, and I have never once seen a bird OR a bee have sex. I don't believe that, organ-wise, birds or bees have any equipment they can have sex WITH. I believe this is the main reason why they can fly, and we can't: They are more aerodynamic.

It seems to me that if we're going to use animals to explain human sexuality to youngsters, we should pick a species whose anatomy and behavior at least vaguely resembles ours. So when your child-let's say his name is Billy-reached a certain age, instead of "the birds and the bees," you'd have a little talk with him about, say, "the dogs." You'd say: "Billy, the male dog wants to have sex pretty much all the time with pretty much every female dog on the entire planet, or, if no female is available, with another male dog, or the nearest human shin, or any low-lying furniture. Whereas the female dog . . . Billy? Come back here!"

But Billy is gone, because he already knows all about human sexuality from watching HBO.

Speaking of HBO, did you believe the final episode of "The Sopranos," when Tony ... AH-OOH-GAH! AH-OOH-GAH!

Uh-oh: That's the Digression Alarm Horn, warning us that we have drifted dangerously far from our column topic, which as you may recall is the appalling lack of female breakfast-cereal cartoon spokescharacters. I know I speak for literally billions of Americans when I say: It has gone on long enough! This column, I mean.


Copyright © 2004, Chicago Tribune

[A-wreck]

Originally posted by truth
Bride of Frankenberry?

Dave Barry (c) 2004 Tribune Media Services
Published August 22, 2004

I have received a disturbing letter from Mr. Frank J. Phillips, who describes himself as both a patriot and a Latin teacher.

I didn't realize we still had Latin teachers, but I'm glad we do, because contrary to what you think (and as a member of the news media, I know exactly what you think) Latin is not just an old dead language spoken by old dead guys who are no longer relevant because they are old and dead. In fact, Latin is the "mother tongue" (or "alma mater") of our own language (English): Many of the words and phrases we use every day are actually of Latin origin, including "etc.," "kazoo," "Roman numeral," "Caesar salad," "No way!" and "bling bling."

But Mr. Phillips did not write to me about Latin. He wrote to me about a troubling thing he has noticed; namely-and here I will quote Mr. Phillips, using his own words-"the complete male domination of the breakfast-cereal cartoon-spokescharacter world."

And he's right. Think about the characters representing your major cereal brands: Cap'n Crunch. Tony the Tiger. The Quaker Oats Quaker man. Toucan Sam. Count Chocula. Frankenberry. Lucky the Leprechaun. Snap, Crackle, and-yes-Pop. The Kellogg's rooster. The Trix Rabbit. All males!

(If you're wondering how I know that the Trix Rabbit is male, the answer is, I asked various people: "Is the Trix Rabbit male?" And they all said he was.)

Now many individuals, confronted with a social injustice of this magnitude, would choose to look the other way. But Frank J. Phillips is not "many individuals." He wrote a petition to the cereal companies and circulated it at his school, St. Mary's School in Medford, Ore., where many students signed the petition out of what I assume was a sincere desire to keep Mr. Phillips distracted from attempting to teach them Latin.

Some of the students also wrote letters expressing their deep, innermost feelings about this issue. "As a young girl," wrote one young girl, "I subconsciously grew to dislike cereal because I felt that I could not identify with the characters that represented cereal."

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking: "Dave, are you insane? Our nation is struggling to deal with war, worldwide terrorism, a mounting budget deficit, a health-care crisis and some very questionable votes on 'American Idol.' With all these serious problems facing us, how can you possibly ignore the Honey Nut Cheerios Honey Bee? Surely you wouldn't call IT a male?"

No, I would not. I would call it gender-neutral. And as the father of a 4-year-old girl, I do not want my daughter to grow up in a world where her cereal-spokesperson role model is an asexual bee.

Speaking of which, does anybody know why, when we explain human sexuality to young people, we refer to it as "the birds and the bees?" I am an observant person who has spent many hours outdoors, and I have never once seen a bird OR a bee have sex. I don't believe that, organ-wise, birds or bees have any equipment they can have sex WITH. I believe this is the main reason why they can fly, and we can't: They are more aerodynamic.

It seems to me that if we're going to use animals to explain human sexuality to youngsters, we should pick a species whose anatomy and behavior at least vaguely resembles ours. So when your child-let's say his name is Billy-reached a certain age, instead of "the birds and the bees," you'd have a little talk with him about, say, "the dogs." You'd say: "Billy, the male dog wants to have sex pretty much all the time with pretty much every female dog on the entire planet, or, if no female is available, with another male dog, or the nearest human shin, or any low-lying furniture. Whereas the female dog . . . Billy? Come back here!"

But Billy is gone, because he already knows all about human sexuality from watching HBO.

Speaking of HBO, did you believe the final episode of "The Sopranos," when Tony ... AH-OOH-GAH! AH-OOH-GAH!

Uh-oh: That's the Digression Alarm Horn, warning us that we have drifted dangerously far from our column topic, which as you may recall is the appalling lack of female breakfast-cereal cartoon spokescharacters. I know I speak for literally billions of Americans when I say: It has gone on long enough! This column, I mean.


Copyright © 2004, Chicago Tribune

wtf is this..............seriously

[mrw]

My problem with Kerry is that it looks like he did his brief tour knowing that he was going to run for office and orchestrated the whole affair to make himself look heroic.Most guys with his type of wounds never even bothered to apply for a purple heart.They got stitched up and hit the trail. This guy re-creates videos showing himself to be fearless and then post date writes about his heroism,distorting the facts along the way. When the other side calls him on it he screams unfair. He came home and aligned himself with the Jane Fonda crowd making accusations later proven to be lies. Kerry strikes me as a complete phony living his entire life for a film clip and sound bite.
The Democrats really dropped the ball by nominating this clown. I think they have squandered their chance to grab the White House by pandering to the Barbra Streisand wing of the party. I am not a Bush fan but I really hope Kerry gets his ass handed to him in November.

Edit...this just in from Drudge--Kerry's campaign now says is possible first Purple Heart was awarded for unintentional self-inflicted wound...


Kerry received Purple Heart for wounds suffered on 12/2/68...


In Kerry's own journal written 9 days later, he writes he and his crew, quote, 'hadn't been shot at yet'... Developing

[truth]

Originally posted by A-wreck
wtf is this..............seriously

It's my thread jong, that's what it is.

[A-wreck]

Originally posted by truth
It's my thread jong, that's what it is.

so you want to talk about cereal now?

[Cornholio]

edit: I'm so pissed that I let you get to me.

Heh.

[Yossarian]

Originally posted by A-wreck
so you want to talk about cereal now?

what gave you that idea?