That's just super.....

[vinzclortho]

heads up, story involves robots, the FBI, drugs and insanity.






okay so this dude Steve, couple years younger than me (29) who I went to high school with was a pretty fuctup dude to start with. In a pretty conservative town he was the dude with a green mohawk telling teachers to fuck off and generally making noise just to be heard. He figured out that he could get more girls if he acted normal and got rid of the green mohawk. So he started dating my friend Annie and they went out for a while. Then whatever happened and Steve decides to move to Arizona. Last time I saw him was at a bar on the 4th of July just before he left like....4 years ago. Never heard another thing about him.

Fast forward to about 3 months ago. Annie, still my friend, living in Boston, gets a call from the FBI. They want to know about Steve. She tells the agent about him and their previous relationship and states that she hasn't seen or heard from him since he moved to Arizona and what's this all about. The agent tells her that Steve was found running totally nude in the rain through...Tempe? I think it was?? high as fuck on crystal meth with two of his three infant children in tow. He was arrested and somehow the FBI got involved. The story he told the FBI is that Patrick(my good friend), Annie and this kid Johnnie (another high school guy) had hired a man a year and a half ago to track Steve down and implant robots in the heads of Steve, his wife and 3 kids to monitor their thoughts. And this was all funded by Patrick and his mom dealing HUGE quantities of cocaine out of the dugout at Fenway. Freaky deaky.....

So Annie now has a contact in the FBI if anything ever happens or if Steve tries to contact her. A few weeks ago Annie and Patrick are at Patrick's parent's house and Steve shows up on the lawn screaming about Pat and his mom dealing coke. Patrick yells for him to leave and Steve tries to force his way into the house. Patrick states that if he ever sees Steve on his street again he'll break his head fucking wide open with a crow bar. Steve leaves. Annie tries to call Steve's mom to let her know about this and somehow Steve has already made it home and answers the phone. Annie freaks out, obviously, and hangs up.

Annie figures she'll call the town cops but decides she already has a contact at the FBI who is aware of this issue. So she calls the same agent and talks to him about what just happened. The agent then says that he'll call the town cops and explain what's going on. Later Annie gets a call from the town cops saying that Steve's house has been getting harrassing phone calls from Annie's mom's number all night and Steve wants Annie arrested. Annie explains the ENTIRE situation to the town cops and they say that yes, they were contacted by the FBI regarding this and they know what the story is. Unfortunately there is no law against being crazy. Annie asks what she should do if he shows up and tries to kill her. The town cops respond

"you live in Boston, call the Boston cops."
"so if Steve shows up on my lawn and threatens to kill me, I should call the Boston police, explain the situation, hope that they will even come to this town, give them directions on how to get here, wait 45 minutes for them to show up while trying to keep Steve from killing me?!?!??!?!?!??!"
"yeah"



So at this point Steve is looking for all the friends of Annie, Patrick and Johnnie. He already managed to get in touch with my buddy Ben. He said to Ben
"I'm giving you this opportunity to tell me what you know about the robots in my brain."
"I have no idea what you are talking about."
"You are seriously going to tell me that you have no idea or information about your friends paying a man to put robots in my brain and monitor my thoughts."
"that's right. no idea."

slightly ominous how he stated "I'm giving you this opportunity..." like he has a plan of some kind.

So now Steve is looking for me. which is super. I mean our town is small, my parents still live in the same house I grew up in and I know he's went to parties I had in high school so obviously he knows at least one way to get in touch with me. It wouldn't have surprised me if I answered the door this past weekend and it was him.

should I just tell this loony that all the answers are at the hospital and to go there? It seems like the police won't be much help. This kid has obviously snapped mentally and needs help. I'm just worried about what his "plan" is. Freaky as hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Sphinx]

Get a gun? What a nutjob, sounds like schizophrenia or something.

[Tyrone Shoelaces]

Originally posted by vinzclortho


So at this point Steve is looking for all the friends of Annie, Patrick and Johnnie. He already managed to get in touch with my buddy Ben. He said to Ben
"I'm giving you this opportunity to tell me what you know about the robots in my brain."
"I have no idea what you are talking about."
"You are seriously going to tell me that you have no idea or information about your friends paying a man to put robots in my brain and monitor my thoughts."
"that's right. no idea."

I hate it when that happens. Clack was mumbling somthing similar during one of his latest 4 AM-call-everyone-in-his-address-book benders.

[The Reverend Floater]

Holy shit, dude. Tell you parents. Buy a shotgun. And call Bossass....he has robots eating his face all of the time!

[Superstar Punani]

Originally posted by Tyrone Shoelaces
I hate it when that happens. Clack was mumbling somthing similar during one of his latest 4 AM-call-everyone-in-his-address-book benders.

Was that before or after "YOU FUCKING PUSSY! I GO BIGGER AND HARDER THAN YOU!!!"

[mr_gyptian]

Annie to Cops: "So what you are telling me is don't dial 911, dial .357?"

Doesn't Mass have any anti-stalking laws?

[Aldo]

Sounds like Steve saw the light. Give him the address of the hospital, and a contact in the psycho ward. Write this all down on dirty crumpled paper, tell him you can't be seen with him but he'll find the answers on the paper, hand it to him, tell him you two can never be seen together again, and run away looking up into the sky as if a helicopter was chasing you...

Works every time.

[Tyrone Shoelaces]

Originally posted by Punani
Was that before or after "YOU FUCKING PUSSY! I GO BIGGER AND HARDER THAN YOU!!!"

neither. it was all mixed together. Apparently, Clack not only goes bigger and harder than us....but bigger and harder than the robots too. Or was it that robots help him to go bigger and harder. shit I can't remember. clack if you read this call me back.

[slim]

crystal meth... scarey stuff.

[basom]

Originally posted by vinzclortho
He already managed to get in touch with my buddy Ben.

dude, i don't remember this. do i have a robot in my brain? fuck.

[truth]

Steve's got mad steeze.

[pointedem]

that is actually pretty entertaining...

reinforce the idea of "serious" with the local police. If they really told you to f off, that should kinda be addressed.


It would have been pretty funny if i created an ailais "Steve"...

[Oarhead]

Personally I can't agree with the gun thing. If he shows up yelling and sreaming and you wave a gun in the face of a this mentally disturbed individual then there is no telling when he will return and what he will do.

A quick question. I am not familiar with the full jurisdiction of the FBI but why are they involved in this case? Is this not a simple police matter? From the sounds of it there is more to it than just some tweaker running around speaking in tongues.

If I were your friend annie I would be calling the FBI dude, saying how the donut eaters were giving as much help as the inanimate carbon rod and asking for further assistance since the threat of escalating action seems inevitable considering his current track record.

If nothing else I would lie to the guy and say that somebody had hired a guy to do the same thing to you too and isn't that weird? Now you too have robots in your head but you are getting help and give them the # of a local psych ward telling him that you have a contact on the inside and this contact will find him not the other way around.

Really and truly I wish you the best of luck, I know how disturbing it is having to deal with a person who's reality does not follow any logical path whatsoever. It is not an enviable position.

[lemon boy]

I am definetely down with anybody else who meets this person needs to pull an acting job.

I suggest having a whole series of 3X5 cards with you at all times

1. Steve! Don't Talk! Read and say "Gohnorea!" in your head while you do

2. I wrote these cards out of order

3. So the implant couldn't follow my thoughts

4. Don't ask me how I know

5. Herbert Hoover's goons are after your ass

6. Don't worry I've been saying "Colostomy bag" in my headsince I saw you.

7. I only pray that

8. They missed any part that we've met.

9. Please dear god in heaven don't try to contact me again.

10. They're holding my twin brother hostage.


then run off screaming COLOSTOMY BAG COLOSTOMY BAG!

Other than that buying a gun seems like a good start.

Oarhead: Guns are not to be shown. The only time someone should know you have one is when they've done everything necessary for you to want to kill them. JMVHO of course.

[SponsoredByDuctTape]

Tell Steve to call the police. To protect and serve, right?

[snow_slider]

Fuck it. Get a gun and a shovel and go looking for him.
I doubt anyone would miss him.

[slim]

Originally posted by snow_slider
Fuck it. Get a gun and a shovel and go looking for him.
I doubt anyone would miss him.

Don't forget about a bag or two of lye and a pair of pliers to pull his teeth.

[1080Rider]

Originally posted by slim
Don't forget about a bag or two of lye and a pair of pliers to pull his teeth.

You mean the gold ones???

[slim]

Originally posted by 1080Rider
You mean the gold ones???

No silly... all of them... for the dental records.

[1080Rider]

Got it, thanks for the advice. Hopefully I'll never need it.

[PacRimRider1]

a buddy of mine's dad used to work in the ER at a hospital in eugene. Needless to say, hes seen his share of crazies. One day a guy comes in saying aliens are reading his thoughts via satelites and computer chips they installed in his head after an abduction, and are telling him to do things. My friends dad brings the guy a roll of aluminum foil and makes a helmet for him out of it. The man says "thank you, that is much better" and walks away.

Its worth a try anyways.