I have a new roommate.
She is a girl.
I just got home from work and there were two dozen Hershey Kiss wrappers on the coffee table, and she was curled up on the couch under a blanket watching snow on the TV.
Then she asked me to play with her.
Then she started complaining about how she was getting fat.
Then she started skipping around the apartment.
Then she started crying.
Then she started laughing hysterically about the fact that she was crying.
Then she ran into my room and started talking about something that I ignored at about 100 mph.
I think it may be her time of the month.
Or she is insane.
That is all.
Results 1 to 25 of 48
Thread: Yikes.
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08-13-2004, 04:21 PM #1
Registered User
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Yikes.
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08-13-2004, 04:23 PM #2
Mr. Old Lady
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Oh God. I think I hooked-up with a few girls like that back in High School. Run for the hills.
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08-13-2004, 04:24 PM #3
"The Harmonizer"
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Move. Now.
Quando paramucho mi amore de felice carathon.
Mundo paparazzi mi amore cicce verdi parasol.
Questo abrigado tantamucho que canite carousel.
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08-13-2004, 04:24 PM #4
We'll blast them at sea
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she's not on the lease is she?
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08-13-2004, 04:27 PM #5
sassy
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Unless she's on some great illicit drugs and is willing to share them:
You're fucked.
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08-13-2004, 04:27 PM #6
Confirmed Slayer
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Sounds like a kooky chick to me. (Stay away)
Is she all hippied out? Like a space-brain weirdo type?
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08-13-2004, 04:27 PM #7
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Yeah, she's on the lease. She's acctually been a really good roomate, but she kind of looses touch with reality every once in a while. I guess Aunt Flow must really put her off her rocker.
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08-13-2004, 04:30 PM #8
We'll blast them at sea
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did you play with her?
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08-13-2004, 04:31 PM #9
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i hear chocolate is an aphrodisiac.
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08-13-2004, 04:32 PM #10
sassy
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A real gentleman never takes part in a tea party and tells.Originally posted by basom
did you play with her?
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08-13-2004, 04:35 PM #11
Confirmed Slayer
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Okay, Duder is a little slow today or something...
"Aunt Flow"????
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08-13-2004, 04:37 PM #12
Funky But Chic
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.Originally posted by Duder
Okay, Duder is a little slow today or something...
"Aunt Flow"????
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08-13-2004, 04:39 PM #13
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Uh....yes?
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08-13-2004, 04:40 PM #14
Backseat Driver
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Originally posted by Iceman:
.
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08-13-2004, 04:41 PM #15
Funky But Chic
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.
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edit: c'mon, duder, work with me here.Last edited by iceman; 08-13-2004 at 04:46 PM.
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08-13-2004, 04:46 PM #16
We'll blast them at sea
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Originally posted by iceman
.
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.
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08-13-2004, 04:50 PM #17
Confirmed Slayer
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Ah yes, I'm an idiot.
Thanks for the clarification.
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08-13-2004, 04:51 PM #18
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Bwaaahhhhh!!!
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08-13-2004, 04:52 PM #19
Southbound Pachyderm
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Still doesn't get it, me thinks.Originally posted by Duder
Ah yes, I'm an idiot.
Thanks for the clarification.
"All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring."
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08-13-2004, 04:54 PM #20
Confirmed Slayer
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What is this, the fuckin' school yard now??
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08-13-2004, 04:56 PM #21
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If this were the school yard and we were just playing dodge ball, you'd be the fat slow kid.
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08-13-2004, 05:04 PM #22
Confirmed Slayer
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Good One HF, I guess you got me.
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08-13-2004, 05:10 PM #23
We'll blast them at sea
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fuckin cuck norris
http://us.ent4.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.../dodgeball.jpg
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08-13-2004, 05:18 PM #24
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Alright, stoke up the fire.
First off, you need to get the hell out. I'm talking De Niro in Heat, get the fuck out. This girl that sub let my room in Chicago was exactly like this.
I was flipping because I was running out of time and had to move back to CO, so I did the craigslist thing and some other assorted roomates dot com shit. Well this girl, we'll call her Alabama, calls up and says she's interested. She's a psychiatrist at one of the university hospitals and is about to move back out to LA, but needs a place for three months. My roommates are going through the roof for a girl. The amount of smut in that 3BR apartment would do a Phunk avatar proud. Anywho, she calls again and explains her life history. Grew up in Manhattan, went to Mrs. Porter's. Columbia undergrad, UCLA post, and Doc.
In the back of my mind I'm questioning why this girl wants a piece of this. Well, 1.5 hours later she shows up. I talked her in like Cougar. Basically the Addison stop on the Brown to Sedgwick. Meet her. She's a decent looking girl. could lose a few, but in all not bad. she stays for 2 hours.
comes by the next day and the roommates meet her. she yaps a lot, they play the prep school name game and she leaves. My roommate utters words he'll regret forever "Look, do we say yes to Pocahantas, or do we keep interviewing every vagar that answers an e-mail?"
So I give the thumbs up. she goes out with us on my last night out and begins to reveal what a slut she is. I mean this in what I thought at the time was a good way.
I pack up and leave for CO with this girl owing me a half month's rent. Check is apparently still in the mail.
This however, is where it gets good. I've started my new gig. Skied two times since being back, good times. second week of work hate mail of all forms is inundating me, voice, e-, and snail.
My ex-roommates are en fuego. This girl won't shut up. Drinks like a Puerto Rican on payday. Won't shut up. Is constantly bringing guys back and then does the cigarette out of mouth walk of shame, multiple times a week.
I fend them off and apologize for the next month or so. Then I get this e-mail "SHE HAD A FUCKING MISCARRIAGE ON MY MOTHERFUCKING COUCH!!!"
One of my ex-roommates likes to put a second coat of paint on some stories. I e-mail back that again I'm sorry, but to lay off a little. My other roommate chimes in that the above really did happen.
True story. Slut didn't even know she was pregnant or whom she was impregnated by."The trouble with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money" --Margaret Thatcher
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08-13-2004, 05:21 PM #25
OG
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thats not Auntie flow thats GRANDMA FLOW
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