You know you're in Detroit when...

[13]

... junkies are shooting up in the bathrooms.

... there are bullet holes in the cement wall of the concert venue.

... almost all of the cover bands SUCK.

... it's standing room only, even though 2/3 the place is empty.

... the bands are doing lines behind the bank of speakers.

... everyone and their grandmothers are rolling on E.

... someone is shot behind the building while you're inside.

... the mosh pit doesn't get broken up due to lack of security.

Welcome to the D!

[powderwhore]

Ya, you got to love it!

You forgot:

...... going for a coney at 3 am

...... strolling down Michigan Ave to yell at hookers

......sightseeing trips to Cass Corridore

......crackheads asking for money around every corner

.......getting blatood at a Tigers game with your boys

Summer in the D. I miss that place sometimes.

[The AD]

Originally posted by powderwhore
.......getting blatood at a Tigers game with your boys

I miss Tiger Stadium. That had to be about the only baseball stadium in the U.S. where you could find a free street parking spot a couple blocks away from the stadium about an hour before game time. Pretty cheap game if you did this and then sit in the bleachers for $3 or whatever ridiculous price they were. Comerica has no soul. Tiger Stadium ruled!

[Plakespear]

Originally posted by The AD
That had to be about the only baseball stadium in the U.S. where you could find a free street parking spot a couple blocks away from the stadium about an hour before game time.

That's what happens when your team sucks and nobody goes to your games.

[13]

How much are tickets to a Yankees game, Plake?

[rip]

werd. Tiger stadium ruled.

not the best neighborhood, looks like a giant warehouse, until you got inside. Obstructed views, left field overhang, dollar bleacher seats, roof shots! it kicked ass.

Comerica is ok, but you are so far away from the game. Plus they named it fucking COMERICA! gay.

Now I get all sad when I drive past tiger stadium on the way to comerica.



and Plake, Tigers are 1 game below 500, pay attention and watch the greatest turnaround ever.

[LCC]

...knowing that 6th and 7th mile is where the real action is.

...drunk ass 19 year olds coming wesbound from the tunnel.

God, I can't believe I actually kind of miss that place. One of these days I need to type out the story about when I worked for Enterprise rent a car, the crack head and the bullet proof vest.

[Plakespear]

Originally posted by 13
How much are tickets to a Yankees game, Plake?

I don't know- I hate the fucking Yankees.

[13]

Plake, are you for the Mets then?

Originally posted by LCC
...knowing that 6th and 7th mile is where the real action is.

...drunk ass 19 year olds coming wesbound from the tunnel.

God, I can't believe I actually kind of miss that place. One of these days I need to type out the story about when I worked for Enterprise rent a car, the crack head and the bullet proof vest.

Everyone has a love/hate relationship with the D.

I know I do.

[motown_fatty]

Downriver Girls........

[13]

... there are more potholes on the roads than crackheads on the side.

[motown_fatty]

You know what a pastie is, and that it's not something worn by strippers

You drive 75 on the expressway and don't hesitate to pass on the right

You can show people where you live by pointing at the palm of your right hand or the back of your left

You can see the green haze from the Rouge plants above the city from 20 miles out on I-75 and feel happy to be almost home

[13]

Sorry, but those apply to most of Michigan in general, we're talking about the D, fella!

[motown_fatty]

Your 34 year old mayor gets busted having stripper parties at the Manoogian and gets away with it....I want his job!

[trainnvain]

DETROIT--With third-quarter sales sluggish and its share of the domestic market down 11 percent since 1993, General Motors unveiled a new instant-win airbag contest Monday. The new airbags, which award fabulous prizes upon violent, high-speed impact with another car or stationary object, will come standard in all of the company's 1997 cars.

"Auto accidents have never been so exciting," said GM vice-president of marketing Roger Jenkins, who expects the contest to boost 1997 sales significantly. "When you play the new GM Instant Win Airbag Game, your next fatal collision could mean a trip for two to Super Bowl XXXI in New Orleans. Or a year's worth of free Mobil gasoline."

Though it does not officially begin until Jan. 1, 1997, the airbag promotion is already being tested in select cities, with feedback overwhelmingly positive. "As soon as my car started to skid out of control, I thought to myself, 'Oh, boy, this could be it--I could be a big winner!'" said Cincinnati's Martin Frelks, who lost his wife but won $50 Sunday when the Buick LeSabre they were driving hit an oil slick at 60 mph and slammed into an oncoming truck. "When the car stopped rolling down the embankment, I knew Ellen was dead, but all I could think about was getting the blood and glass out of my eyes so I could read that airbag!"

Hartford, CT, resident Jonathan Ryerson was killed Sunday when his 1997 Pontiac LeMans hit a freight train. Ryerson won $50 in the accident. "It's really addictive," said Sacramento, CA, resident Marjorie Kamp, speaking from her hospital bed, where she is listed in critical condition with severe brain hemorrhaging and a punctured right lung. "I've already crashed four cars trying to win those Super Bowl tickets, but I still haven't won. I swear, I'm going to win those tickets--even if it kills me!"

Kamp said that as soon as she is well enough, she plans to buy a new Pontiac Bonneville and drive it into a tree. GM officials are not surprised the airbag contest has been so well received. "In the past, nobody really liked car wrecks, and that's understandable. After all, they're scary and dangerous and, sometimes, even fatal," GM CEO Paul Offerman said. "But now, when you drive a new GM car or truck, your next serious crash could mean serious cash. Who wouldn't like that?"

Offerman added that in the event a motorist wins a prize but is killed, that prize will be awarded to the next of kin. According to GM's official contest rules, odds of winning the grand prize, a brand-new 1997 Cutlass Supreme, are 1 in 43,000,000. Statistical experts, however, say the real chances of winning are significantly worse. "If you factor in the odds of getting in a serious car accident in the first place--approximately 1 in 720,000--the actual odds of winning a prize each time you step in your car are more like 1 in 31 trillion." Further, even if one is in an accident, there is no guarantee the airbag will inflate. "I was recently broadsided by a drunk driver in my new Chevy Cavalier," said Erie, PA, resident Jerry Polaner. "My car was totaled, and because it was the side of my car that got hit, my airbag didn't even inflate. But what really gets me is the fact that the drunk driver, who rammed my side with the front of his 1997 Buick Regal, won a $100 Office Depot gift certificate. That's just wrong."

[13]

Originally posted by motown_fatty
Your 34 year old mayor gets busted having stripper parties at the Manoogian and gets away with it....I want his job!

Kilpatrick?! I knew I liked that guy...

[motown_fatty]

Yuo, good old Kwame....his wife stuck up for him on it too.! He is getting away with everything. I love it!! Dude is hilarious, he actually wanted the police to salute him. Can;t ehlp but laugh, he looks (and acts) more like an NFL lineman than a mayor.

[tuffy109]

Originally posted by 13
How much are tickets to a Yankees game, Plake?

they're worth every penny AND they're still in the same stadium.

tiger stadium was a classic. how you abandon something like that (ahem, downtown detroit) is unfathomable.

[tonghands]

You know what Taylortucky means.

You've thrown up outside St. Andrews.

You've eaten a Xocimilco's (SP?) at 3:00AM and the place was packed.

You've gotten into a fight with the Lake Superior State Hockey team in the Post. And you've lost this fight.

You buy beer without ever needing an ID, and you are 17.

You've developed a tolerance for really sketchy situations.

[CaddyDaddy77]

Never been.

Little brother was flying to the east coast going to Europe about 6 or more years a go, when his flight was delayed and then redirected to Detroit due to Electrical storms. They unload the plane, sit for a couple of hours, reload the plane, unload, and then are sent to a hotel to spend the night.

Little bro, calls at 3 in the morning, completely losing his shit, and talking babble. There was a shooting right outside of his hotel, where he happens to be on the first floor, and there's a guy lying dead about 15 ft feet away. He's been out of the country all of no times, thus far, and isn't making much headway leaving it.

He arrived in Amsterdam about a full day behind schedule.





It's $89 to go there from here, worth a weekend visit?

[motown_fatty]

It depends on what you are looking for...plenty of outstanding golf during the day (Really...within an hours drive of downtown you probably have at least 100 courses). Mixed nightlife, 3 casinos and some clubs downtown, the burbs have decent bars and clubs. If you are into the history thing there is the whole Ford/Greenfield Village deal. Fly into Metro, if you want to stay downtown do so at the RenCen (Marriot at GM world HQ). If you decide to come in e-mail or PM and I'll get you as much info as I can.

[CaddyDaddy77]

Cool, thanks.

Just kind of threw it out there, as I saw the Southwest commercial last night. Mark on list as things to do.


edit: It's cool if I were an Av's jersey everywhere right?

[iceman]

Staying at the RenCen, we ask the doorman where we can find a restaurant.
"There's a bunch of places in Greektown."
"Where's that?"
"About three blocks that way"
We say thanks and turn to walk. "Hey what are you doing?!?"
"Um, walking to Greektown?"
"Are you crazy? You can't walk there, you won't make it there alive. Here, I'll get you a cab."

[motown_fatty]

Just make sure if you wear you Av's jersey you stop into the Hockey Town Cafe...you might want to have some Kevlar underneath though.

[motown_fatty]

Yeah, RenCen to Greek Town not such a good idea!! Simply based on the direction of the walk. Hart Plaza and a few other areas around the RenCen are Ok....