Struggling Hardcore: Who am I?

[release]

Buzz, you might want to ask yourself where you really want to be in 5, 10, or 20 years. Don't kid yourself either. Sometimes people just try to convince themselves that they are happy in a particular situation when they are not. If you really want to recreate alot at the expense of a career then that is fine. If you really want a career that gives you more financial freedom then that is fine too. If a family is important then take it seriously. If you want it all then go for it. If you can figure all this out then start making some priorities.

Priorities can help you sort through the important and the unimportant. Recognize the things that are out of your control and if you don't like them then try to change them. Try to learn how much risk your willing to take in life.

Maybe this adds to some of the confusion; but if you can sort through some of these issues then perhaps things can become clearer. Good luck.

[Buzzworthy]

Yeah, I think it is time to set new goals. Maybe that is where I am lacking.

1. By myself.
2. Stop trying to conform so damn much.
3. Be a better friend, just like you all have to me.
4. Pull my head out of my ass and get on my bike or hike or do something.
5. Slow the drinking and stuff (already starting, but I still have my "drugged monkey" times)
6. Kiss my beautiful wife and tell her how much she means to me.
7. Figure out where I want to be in 5 years (job, ski days, kids??, own house, ......)

The list can go on forever, but it is a start.

You have all given me some excellent insight and I know I am not alone, when many times I do feel that way. Got to work on that too.

Please continue, we all could use advice and stories such as these. This thread has turned out to be amazing.

It may not nesesscarily be skiing related, but it is friend related and finding yourself related which can come full circle back to friends and skiing.

It is a process, but one you all have helped me in exploring.

[teledave]

What a thread.

Buzz,
Looks to me like those are some steps in the right direction, probably for anyone (well except for the kissing your wife part, I'm thinking that you wouldn't be too appreciative of that). I would offer some adivce but it wouldn't be nearly as relevant as some you've already gotten. We all get like that at times, and no matter how good the plan is when you make it life throws some really good curves at you. Hang in there man.

[13]

Bump

This thread is relevant to more people than you think.

[frozenwater]

Goals is where it is at. I was actually happiest when I was struggling through college, or struggling up the corporate ladder, etc.

I have actually had a couple years now of easy living, and I am not cut out for it. I need new challenges to excite me for the day ahead. Your list of goals are life changes, which need to happen, but think about doing something that will mentally challenge you as well. I'm guessing your job is not doing that. Maybe go back to school, or find a job that challenges you.

I've very recently been where you are, and I am doing my utmost to shake up my life, to get to a place where I am again challenged, and rewarded.

[drugged_monkey]

Really great thread.

Self-awareness is a bitch. That mirror is everywhere. I can't tell you how many times I've wondered WTF I'm doing. I've found what makes most people happy is their interactions with others. Beautiful women can be completely insecure about their looks. They need someone else to them they're beautiful. Respect, trust, understanding, kindness, goes a long way. That said, you can't control other people. You can't control how they'll react to you. You have to be you and be confident in what you do. People may like it or not. Spread the love. Treat others well. Give compliments. Lend a hand. That stuff just can't be measured.

I agree with others about setting goals and having something to be aimed towards. If you're not aimed at anything then just wandering around lost. Find out what you want and go get it. After I got laid off in UT a few years back I had a lot of time to think and come up with goals. some of them were crazy and still remain unattained. Some are completed and others are well on their way.

Good luck with everything mang. Know you're not alone. Finding a purpose or something to believe in can be difficult.

[divegirl]

Buzz, I've gone through the 20s version of what you're experiencing. It's called the post-college funk. I can definitely relate to what you're going through, similarly. I'm 26. I ask myself similar questions all the time. I still feel like I haven't "found" myself. What is the point of my time on this earth? Is it to really climb the corporate ladder? To find someone and reproduce? Who knows. I know, however, that when I'm close to turning 30, I'll look for this thread.

[Karl Stall]

This is the stuff that first brought me to this community, and I think most of you know how I feel about "the impact of this online community".

Hang in, bro. Baconzoo and others said it well: kids make the world go round


Fucking great thread!

[Woodsy]

Im sure havin kids is cool but

You have to be you and be confident in what you do. People may like it or not.
Spread the love.
Treat others well.
Give compliments.
Lend a hand.

thats the shit dere I telll ya
& buzz you got that part covered in spades my brother, the person you are is spectacular, the practical problems require practical soloutions.

you are so money & you dont even know it.

[Karl Stall]

Yeah, that drugged monkey is a sage. He should have added: practice what you preach. He certainly does...

[grrrr]

"My dear family, guess what. Today I found out what my special purpose is for. Gosh what a great time I had. I wish my whole family could have been here with me. Maybe some other time as I intend to do this a lot. Every chance I get. I think next week I'll be able to send some more money as I may have extra work. My friend Patty promised me a blow job. Your loving son, Navin. "

[tibaher]

Hey Buzz, never met you, don't know you personally, or see that happening anytime soon (can't make the Hood Summit), but I can tell you're a stand up dood. Most maggots are! Besides everything else that everybody has said here, I have one thing to add.

My Father always said,, "Figure out what you want to do, and learn how to make a living at it" I'm personally still looking for that so talke this with a grain of that UT salt.

Seems like you got that^down so, next up, you gotta know that the only way to keep what you have is by giving it away. Seems strange, but it rings true if you break it down. We are all here to help each other. Living for yourself is not the answer. Doing for other's is. (IMVH((raised Catholic))O)

The thing I tell myself all the time is to do the next indicated thing.
that's it
It keeps it simple and helps me ignore all the other stuff that "seems" so crucial. Remember High School? Lookin back, those problems are nothin now right? so Keep it simple and good luck man. Draw on your friends and family for support where it is appropriate and belive in what you do.

Too cliche?? anyway it works for me at least sometimes.

[Big E]

Wow, somehow I hadn't read this thread until now. Glad I spent the 20 minutes going through the whole thing. Buzz, you indeed are not alone in this.

There is some amazing advice here and it's benefitting many more of us than just Buzz.

When I get my thoughts together a little more, I'll try and contribute. For now, though, I'm going to remain on the receiving side of things.

And yes, gonzo, we all echo those sentiments.

[ak_powder_monkey]

Ski that is all

[Baconzoo]

Bob M. told me this morning:
"Love is a stream that will find it's course."

Sometimes there is crap in the stream but you'll get around it.

oh yea,
"Everything in life has a purpose, find it's reason"

[Twoplanker]

edited...

[Ireallyliketoski2]

Great post summed up best by Aristotle

"The unexamined life is not worth living"

He'd be proud of the maggots.

[Buzzworthy]

All good things you have to say, and I have thought the same things.

[slippy]

Try volunteer work. Or helping out someone younger in your company. Giving is an important and rewarding part of life.

Look for some mid-life crisis self-help books. You're not the only one who has gone through this, there's probably lots of great advice out there. There is no formal school for living life that I know of, so try to learn from other people's experiences.

When you find what you want out of life, focus on small goals to get there. It sounds lame bu it's true. Change will be slow and that's fine. Getting out of your rut will take time which is normal. When you get out of your rut, embrace new things and challenges. Otherwise you get bored or fall back in the old rut.

Start hanging out with or meet people that are highly motivated, travel a lot, and ski/bike a lot. You'll get caught up in their motivation to have fun and do something. I sometimes get stuck on the couch until someone calls.

[cololi]

Two planker, you deserve mad props laying it on the line. Buzz, you do to, for listening. I don't know much about the situation, but I went through a substance abuse situation with a friend that didn't end in a positive manner. I approached him much like twoplanker did, but he refused to listen. despite numerous attemtps to contact him, he won't have a thing to do with me. Which sucks. I'll always keep trying and hopefully one day he will come around, but until then there is definetly a void missing.

Buzz, this is seriously one of the best threads in a long, long time.

[Buzzworthy]

Yes, I certainly have been listening.

[Steven S. Dallas]

Originally posted by teledave
What a thread.

Buzz,
Looks to me like those are some steps in the right direction, probably for anyone (well except for the kissing your wife part, I'm thinking that you wouldn't be too appreciative of that).

No, definitely not.

Hang tough, buddy.

[frozenwater]

Yeah, and while your at it buzz, how about cutting back on the hot llama sex. mmmkay? --Damn 2P, I know you guys are friends, but shite man, a PM would have been a little more friendly.

And buzz, his advice is great and all, but I ain't driving your sorry ass 6 hours to denver so you can drink water with Meats of evil. If anybody found anything offensive in this thread, please harass me about it online, and if possible bring up some of my faults.

Thanks.

[Buzzworthy]

Originally posted by frozenwater
Yeah, and while your at it buzz, how about cutting back on the hot llama sex. mmmkay? --Damn 2P, I know you guys are friends, but shite man, a PM would have been a little more friendly.

And buzz, his advice is great and all, but I ain't driving your sorry ass 6 hours to denver so you can drink water with Meats of evil. If anybody found anything offensive in this thread, please harass me about it online, and if possible bring up some of my faults.

Thanks.

I will agree with both you and 2P. Yes, I would have enjoyed a PM more, but he is trying to be a better friend and I commend him on that. Maybe he will edit that out when he can, but it is a public forum and I can't make him do anything he does not want to.

And no, you are not driving my sorry ass to drink water (wait, there is water in beer, right). There are times to cut back and times to go nuts.

I pick nuts this weekend.

I mainly need to lay off during the week, baby steps, step by step.

edit: I thought you were going to keep the llama thing a secret??

[frozenwater]

yeah, I know he is a good guy, good friend etc. But mainly I just wanted to post about llama lovin, and I really didn't see a way to do that without bringing both of you into it.