Last day of work...

[Honc]

So I've already done the following:

1) Arrived 2 hours late
2) Smelled like a dead hooker (this is an ongoing process)
3) Hidden an open can of tuna in my bosses' office

These are all pretty standard. Is there anything else that I should be doing? Last days of work are few and far between and I don't want to blow it.

[Canuk]

Are you wearing tattered jeans, flip flops, and a dirty shirt? If not, go change pronto.

I would also suggest deconstructing your cubicle in an effort to greatly improve your view.

[Spicoli]

Take a dump in the executive washroom...don't flush
Put the seat down and pee on it (as well as the flush lever)

[acostiga]

with pointer-finger extended at gathered co-workers:

"fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you, fuck you... etc."

[PlayHarder]

Don't forget the three hour lunch at the closest strip club.

[Honc]

These are all valuable suggestions that will be carried out. Please keep 'em coming.

[sandytheskier]

Burping openly in public but important areas of the building seems productive.

[gonzo]

on a non-fun note, ask the cool guy for a general recommendation letter. better than reminding him who you were later when you need it.

get drunk at lunch.

tell schmoopy how you really feel.

[Beaver]

Leave an upper decker in the executive washroom.

[Crinkle]

place orders for strange items that will arrive in 2-3 weeks, after you leave. Wash your hands and face at the watercooler, preferably after using the bathroom. Steal as much as possible when others are at lunch.

edit: go around and change everyone's homepage to TGR.com when they are not at their computers.

[EPSkis]

Just remember - sometimes you don't want to burn those bridges....Since this doesn't sound like it's one of those times, do all of the above & do it with a giant smile on your face. This should sufficiently piss of anyone you haven't already.

[James Carvile]

So are you leaving town or just buildings?

[gonzo]

upper decker!

[shamrockpow]

Originally posted by gonzo
upper decker!

Shit, Beaver beat me to it. In situations like this, peeing on the handle (or not flushing) just doesn't cut it!

If you have an asskissing coworker you really hate, go smoke a J in his cube during his lunch break. Bury the roach in his drawer. Then when the boss comes back Smarty McAsshole in cube 215 is gonna get it from the boss...

[Honc]

Skipping town. I am now officially done with Ogilvy. Onward and upward.

Upper deckers are impossible due to the automated toilets.

Thanks for the advice gents. I'll check back next time I go career-hopping.

I played the tape of Shmoopy talking to his girlfriend to everyone in the office. Problem solved.

[Lane Meyer]

Shit, today is my last day, too, but instead of fucking with my boss, I gave him a framed picture, and he gave me 20 lbs of Jamaican jerked chicken, 10 gallons of homebrew and a 10 pound tako leg.

[midget]

damn, i was going to say finding a way to get the fire sprinklers to go off and kill all the computers would leave a bit of a mark.

[Steven S. Dallas]

Originally posted by gonzo
tell schmoopy how you really feel.

You're schmoopy! No, you're shmoopy!

What the hell is a tako, and how many legs does it have?