Revenge on Co-Worker. Ideas?

[Platinum Pete]

So this fucking fuck sales prick (ffsp) is getting pressure from his boss about what else is going to close this month and instead of being a man and telling the truth or being a proper weasel and squirming out some other way, he decides to blame me for his account not closing. Not my fault, in fact it is merely demonstrative of this bonehead's idiocy that he could fathom it as my fault. This fucker's boss calls my boss and all hell breaks loose because my pansy boss has never been a real salesman and can't see that this is the fucking fuck using me as a human sheild for his inability to close business. The fucking fuck may have thought he was innocently lying like he does to clients and his boss all day, but this time he's fucked up my world and he needs to learn a damn lesson.

Ideas on how to give this fucker some torture in a way that he knows it's me and he knows why, but I can get away with plausible deniability?

[VC]

Bang his sister/mom?

[ICEHOCEY77]

car bomb

[Benny Profane]

How savvy are you with computers? Get some kiddie porn on his hard drive, and, hooboy, ......

[Huckin eh?]

Bang his sister/mom?

I like this one!

[DharmaBum]

File sexual harrassment complaint.

[OldLarry]

Seems like there's enough rope there to hang himself. Can't you make him look incompetent in defending yourself rigoraously?

[Superstar Punani]

So this fucking fuck sales prick (ffsp) is getting pressure from his boss about what else is going to close this month and instead of being a man and telling the truth or being a proper weasel and squirming out some other way, he decides to blame me for his account not closing. Not my fault, in fact it is merely demonstrative of this bonehead's idiocy that he could fathom it as my fault. This fucker's boss calls my boss and all hell breaks loose because my pansy boss has never been a real salesman and can't see that this is the fucking fuck using me as a human sheild for his inability to close business. The fucking fuck may have thought he was innocently lying like he does to clients and his boss all day, but this time he's fucked up my world and he needs to learn a damn lesson.

Ideas on how to give this fucker some torture in a way that he knows it's me and he knows why, but I can get away with plausible deniability?

Sign him up for some pr0n and every magazine you can think of. Have the porn delivered to his office address, or better yet, via the HR department.

Got his cell phone #? Sales people can't live without it. Post cheap housing, cheap cars, free shit, personals, casual encounters, etc on Craigslist.

Call and leave a message to every car dealership, charitable orgnization, and religious group within a 50 mile radius. Give him a taste of his own medicine. Get his contact details out to as many salesmen, charitable organizations, religious groups etc.


Do all the above from a non-work computer or phone.

[Tye 1on]

Paging that dude that wired his boss'es horn to honk every time he turned on the blinker...then put baby powder in the defroster ducts and turned it on high...He's gotta have some ideas on this one...

[JimmyCarter]

Register him on one of those online pedophile watch lists.

[Thrill Hammer]

Be a stand-up dude and call this fuckers boss and tell him in no uncertain terms that his employee is full of shit and if he tries hamstringing you again your gonna rip out his eyes and skull fuck him. Oughta work.

[Cliff Huckable]

Just act like a man and straighten this out with the various overlords. (I guess Thrill Hammer just said that. Oh well, good advice.)

btw doing anything else makes it look as if you are, in fact, the one blame.

[Toadman]

How about document the ffsp's role and responsibility in closing deals and what your role is in the whole affair, if any. Then ask for a meeting with the HR dept, his boss, your boss, and you. Get it all out in the open. CYA. Best thing you could do is actually close the deal and tell the ffsp's boss that you took care of his inability to get 'er done. Take his job, and get him fired.

[TeleHoar]

Dig through his trash and/or office pac recycle box, You can find all kinds of gold. Acct #s, pay stubs, personal stuff...Find some utility bills and call the utility company and password protect his accounts to a password you pick, then call back in a few days and have utilities shut off for your "vacation". He won't be able to get them back on due to the password.

[Caucasian Asian]

Open the case for his computer and hide a frozen prawn in it.

After work hours, repeatedly urinate on his chair. Not enough to still be wet in the morning, but just enough so that his work area smells a little like pee all the time.

x2 on the adds for discreet encounters. Make sure to include "only after 10pm (xxx)xxx-xxxx."



or hit him with the handy-dandy pulaski

[pappag]

Put an add on CL in the m4m section with a picture of the FFSP, request for an anonymous gangbang, and directions to show up to his house at a specified date and time - no questions asked. For further information, they can contact you via phone. When people respond to the posting, leave them with your cell phone number (I would suggest getting one of those temporary ones so that you cannot be contacted after the event takes place) so that you can have direct contact with them and the post will seem real.

[montanagirl]

Ideas on how to give this fucker some torture in a way that he knows it's me and he knows why, but I can get away with plausible deniability?

Just telling him outright that you're going to screw with him is enough to start, now he's going to be wondering when and how. Then call in your IT guy over and over for random things, maybe let him know what your up to and the IT guy might enjoy helping. Have IT guy come up with different things to make this dude panic- chance of virus, etc where maybe you have to go back and "alert clients". Thinking of things that will make dude panic is more fun- that way you'll watch him squirm and if you're lucky, he'll trip himself up.

[soylent green]

Try this one-

That watch costs more than you car. I made $970,000 last year. How much you make? You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids. You wanna work here - close! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a sit? You don't like it, leave.

[snow_slider]

"Coffee is for CLOSERS."

[MashedPotatoes]

Sign him up for some pr0n and every magazine you can think of. Have the porn delivered to his office address, or better yet, via the HR department.

Got his cell phone #? Sales people can't live without it. Post cheap housing, cheap cars, free shit, personals, casual encounters, etc on Craigslist.

Call and leave a message to every car dealership, charitable orgnization, and religious group within a 50 mile radius. Give him a taste of his own medicine. Get his contact details out to as many salesmen, charitable organizations, religious groups etc.


Do all the above from a non-work computer or phone.

note to self - Do not ever fuck with Supu.

[powder11]

"Coffee is for CLOSERS."

everytime he goes to take a sip of his coffee blurt out "put that coffee down! coffee is for closers!"

I've been in a similar situation and a public call out in front of the bosses is the only way to go. Humiliate the prick in front of everyone. Your boss will respect you for it.

[Nobody Famous]

Be a stand-up dude and call this fuckers boss and tell him in no uncertain terms that his employee is full of shit and if he tries hamstringing you again your gonna rip out his eyes and skull fuck him. Oughta work.

Just act like a man and straighten this out with the various overlords. (I guess Thrill Hammer just said that. Oh well, good advice.)

btw doing anything else makes it look as if you are, in fact, the one blame.

How about document the ffsp's role and responsibility in closing deals and what your role is in the whole affair, if any. Then ask for a meeting with the HR dept, his boss, your boss, and you. Get it all out in the open. CYA. Best thing you could do is actually close the deal and tell the ffsp's boss that you took care of his inability to get 'er done. Take his job, and get him fired.

You got the correct answers here, now get to it while it's still burning you up.

[soylent green]

Whats my name? Whats my name? Fuck you, that's my name!

Glengarry, Glenross= best movie ever

[snowsprite]

Living well is the best revenge!

Quit your job and live the millionaire lifestyle of traveling everywhere, driving fast cars, being seen with lovely young ladies, and dressing like a pimp. That'll show him.

Does that help?

Sprite

[Dhelihiker]

If you want to push him over the edge do this-

send a fax to his cell phone and put the fax machine on auto call back. Every 5 minutes he will get a call from the fax machine, eeeeeeeeee bbbbbbbbbdddeeeeeeebbbbbbdbbdbbeebbebee

Thyis actually happended to me and it SUCKED. the phone company wont help you nothin