Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

[Ski3oh3]

Top of Vasquez Cirque...Hiking past east headwall

Snowboarder - How old are you little rippers on dem planks

Us - Were 16

Snowboarder - You little rippers gonna tear that cliff to shreds over there?

Us - What cliff ?

Snowboarder - * Points to small rock *

Us - Oh...that crazy ass cliff...Fo Sho Dawg, We gone shred that gnar Braw!

We walked away laughing....

[P_McPoser]

Overheard at Beaver Creek Today: "Wow, this is a lot of snow, who thought it would snow here in late march?!"

[mtaylor]

i have 2

me and 2 other guys are standing at the base waiting for another friend. I'm on 183 bros, one of my friends is on squads and the other on explosives. Instructor walks by with his lesson, points at our skis and says "That's what we'll get you on, twin tips, so you can do tricks"

later in the liftline, same people/skis. Park rats behind us point at the squads. "Man, those powder skis would be sketchy for a 180..."

[MOHSHSIHd]

Overheard at Beaver Creek Today: "Wow, this is a lot of snow, who thought it would snow here in late march?!"

Yep, some people following us over to A-bowl at LL today:

"Man, can you believe how much snow there is here?!?! Its spring!!! I mean its just about April!!! SNOW IN APRIL?!?!"

[alpinista]

Riding on a chair next to a "patroller" at a big Right Coast resort I asked about a roped trail and he told me "You'd wreck your skis." I replied, "That's what p-tex is for" and he gave me a blank stare for about 10 seconds , then gaped, "What's p-tex?"

[fish]

Top of Blue Sky Basin at Vail yesterday (13 inch powder day)
"What's your rush?"

I didn't know what to say... all that came out was "uhhhhh freshies"

[flyby]

Top of Vasquez Cirque...Hiking past east headwall

Snowboarder - How old are you little rippers on dem planks

Us - Were 16

Snowboarder - You little rippers gonna tear that cliff to shreds over there?

Us - What cliff ?

Snowboarder - * Points to small rock *

Us - Oh...that crazy ass cliff...Fo Sho Dawg, We gone shred that gnar Braw!

We walked away laughing....

dude was probably laughing at you

[awake1563]

In the gondi, after searching my dynafits up and down for several minutes, poor fella asks "where's there rest of your bindings"

[vendetta]

Overheard on gondola: "Do you do whirly-birds in the stunt ditch on those things?"

[Eleventy]

What's powder?

[leroy jenkins]

A couple weeks ago at Big Sky, skiing with a couple other mags, we see some kid in oversized parkrat clothes, with no poles, on center mounted park skis, sideslipping down a fun little pillowy powder covered shot through the trees, right underneath the lift.


Me: "Nice sideslipping loser, maybe you should get some poles"

Parkrat: "Poles are training wheels"

Me: "Well you obviously need some more training jackass"

[PowStompper]

I heard a good one @ Alta this year.
Older chick says, "Why do these goggles keep fogging up and why is my forehead so cold?"
Instructor guy says, "Well you have a gap where your goggles don't overlap with your hat, that needs to form a seal there."
Me to myself, "Don't say gaper gap, don't say gaper gap."

[UTpowder]

Lifty staring at my 183 Bros "Did you make those yourself?"

[Phill]

lol that is not an uncommon question in regards to bros.

[SchralphMacchio]

From a ski email list here in SF, probably responding to Sinecure's comment that the Spring season in Tahoe has been great:

"Regarding snow condition, I respectively disagree... I've damaged my
ski against the rock that was popping up at an Alpine's green trail
at the bottom toward end of a day between X-Mas and NY when it
became icy and you had to scrap it to break; and right at the middle
there were few rocks sticking out. Again, that was below Scott chair
loading on wide green trail. I would not call those "good
conditions". And of course resorts are greedy, rather than close
such trails with rocks they keep them open to attract people.
I have been coming to Tahoe for ~8 years by now, it is getting worse
comparing to years 2000, 2001, 2002...."

Um, yeah, you're complaining about hitting a rock on a WIDE GREEN TRAIL?!?!

[carvedog]

From yesterday skier looking down at my 197 split tail race snowboard.

"Did that used to be a monoski?"

From a client a while back while they were buying me a $20 lunch at the lodge.

"I keep getting these headaches every time I come to the ski hill"

Me after several moments of trying to decide if I should say what is becoming obvious after surveying the situation.

"Maybe your hat is too tight." It's one of those russian looking ear flap fold down numbers probably made of unborn fox fetuses or something other weird shit.

She removes the hat. And after a couple of moments says "Wow I feel much better now."

[time2clmb]

I was once asked "does it rain in the mountains?" This was asked by some one that had been living in Banff for several months already. Same person also asked if there are glaciers in the summer time.

[skiATL]

Here's a few. NC has a lot of gapers

Kid on chairlift: Do they have sandboarding in the summer?
Me: Do you see any sand
Kid: Oh, they must just have year round skiing since they can make snow.
And I turn my music up

From far away I hear this hot girl, pointing at a quad lift, yelling, "Is this lift a threesome?"

While skiing my invaders(83mm waist)
gaper :Wow, those skis are really fat.
Me: Actually, they are terrible, they arent wide and the tips dive and they are centermounted park skis.
gaperh, wait skiers can go in snowboard parks...

Not so much a quote as it is a story, Skiing up to the lift, there is this really fat gaper lady struggling to ski up to the lift(it was a little uphill), and shes with her son and they are going really slow, so me and my friend just ski around her and get on the lift. We hear her yell at us with a really mean look, "Are you blind or are you just rude?" Fucking hate fat bitches like that, especially the ones that yell at you for cutting everyone in the 10 minute liftline, when the quad chair is going up with 1-2 people each time, and you are going on as a single.



this guy is ballin

[Badgerman]

From yesterday skier looking down at my 197 split tail race snowboard.

"Did that used to be a monoski?"


:

That is actually pretty good observation......sure it wasn't plake incognito?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeCnXIB60RM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xodKlVFOVVo

[oftpiste]

Nah, it was that guy making those steezy, skis-locked-together turns through the big ass bumps whilst verbally abusing other people's groms.

[gobblehoof]

and then the gaper asked me something that I knew a lot more about than him and i felt so fine and superior. pretty soon that joy of witnessing his humilition passed an di had to strangle a weasle. i slept well that night and next morning i vowed i would beat a tubby man to death by the time i was 20

[Badgerman]

Nah, it was that guy making those steezy, skis-locked-together turns through the big ass bumps whilst verbally abusing other people's groms.

You Polish?

[Badgerman]

and then the gaper asked me something that I knew a lot more about than him and i felt so fine and superior. pretty soon that joy of witnessing his humilition passed an di had to strangle a weasle. i slept well that night and next morning i vowed i would beat a tubby man to death by the time i was 20

Sure it wasn't a homeless tubby man?

Then in the prison interview "Dude, it felt just like a video game"

[boredboiseboy]

I witnessed this conversation between two boarders and a patroller today.

2B's: Why is the gate closed on the Knob?

P: Because there was a slide there yesterday and we have get someone over there to check the stability.

2B's: Yeah. We started the slide! We dropped the little bowl and it broke right behind us!

P: You started it? Yesterday? How big was it?

2B's: About 6 inches deep, maybe 25 yards across. Not very big. We want to go back today and kick off another one.

P: What?

2B's: We want to go back. You know, finish it up.

P: Are you serious? Do you guys even have beacons? A shovel?

2B's: Naw, man. Beacons are overrated.

P: Go ask at the patrol building, but I don't think it'll open today.

Was that on Bobs Knob @ bogus by any chance?

[ski3 P O]

Not so much a quote as it is a story, Skiing up to the lift, there is this really fat gaper lady struggling to ski up to the lift(it was a little uphill), and shes with her son and they are going really slow, so me and my friend just ski around her and get on the lift. We hear her yell at us with a really mean look, "Are you blind or are you just rude?" Fucking hate fat bitches like that, especially the ones that yell at you for cutting everyone in the 10 minute liftline, when the quad chair is going up with 1-2 people each time, and you are going on as a single.

Kind of similar thing happened to me at peak 7 in Breck. Lift lines are all merging. Group in front of me goes, then the group next to me goes, then I and my wife and two kids pull out. The women in the line next to me asks why did I cut her off? I told her I didn't cut her off, I merged. As the lines come together, you are supposed to alternate. She shakes her lift ticket and me, and says nowhere on it does it say the lift lines alternate. The lifty standing there tells her she is correct, it does not say it anywhere on the lift ticket. She then smiles at me. Then the lifty goes on to tell her it says to alternate on the BIG YELLOW SIGN SHE IS STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO! I then smile and proceed to go on to the lift.