Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

[The word Gaper is overused]

I'm a backcountry skier myself. Yeah, you see that rope line over there? I skied next to it... on the other side!! It was all fresh.

[_Aaron_]

At Elk mtn in NEPA today.

"I hope the mountains out west are as big as this one."

[Ed el Loco]

I'v gotten this many times.

"You ski in the terrain park/half pipe? Dont you mean snowbording"

I get this at work from the younger folk.
"you ski, you should try snowboarding"

[jrbd]

I've heard that many people don't like powder.

And get it right...the gapers ask where the deer turn into ELK, not MOOSE.

[skiingsamurai]

my room mate and I were at Jay on a nice soft day earlier this season. I was going to duck into the trees for some morning pow. He decided that he was going to stick on the groomer, which was essentially all ice.
He claimed "powder is nice, but i like man made snow better, its softer and faster."
Me, "Sorry, could you repeat that. I couldnt hear what you said over the sound of me shitting my pants."

he also thinks mt snow is the best mountain in the east, including places like tucks

I no longer ski with him

[ODHGABFE]

At Jackson last March, was riding up the gondi with my buddy and 3 new friends. This was when it was about 15 at night and 40 during the day, so everything was bulletproof in the AM. The run under the top of the gondi had sheer ice in many places, and did not look inviting. Nevertheless, there were a couple people on the run, one of whom was a 50-something year old man, sliding headfirst, on his back, at all of about, 1mph. He is stiff as a board, making ZERO effort to stop himself, all the while yelling "LOOK OUT! LOOK OUT!" Upon seeing this, the 5 of us proceed to cram around the vents and yell back at him (what would you have done?) He slowly continued to slide for about 50, nearly hitting 2 separate snowboarders who were sitting down, and a stand of trees. Priceless.


Riding up the chair at Tyrol Basin, WI during high school, there was a brother and sister on the chair in front of me, and their parents in front of them. The brother and sister are arguing and the parents are trying to mediate from in front. Finally, the Dad yells, "That's enough Brian! You've managed to ruin yet another vacation!!" When the kid whines "but Dad.." the Dad yells again, "That's enough!!", and turns around for the rest of the ride.

[hartzejr]

and my own addition to the thread

"at what altitude does a deer become a moose?" really?!?!?!

Have heard this multiple (double digits) times

The version I've heard is "At what elevation do deer turn into elk?"

[LIP]

A few years back, living in Crested Butte, I'm working at a restaurant in the middle of July, and this lady comes in, sits down, points out the window at the snow on Paradise Divide and says in her best Texan twang, " Is that snow still cold?"

[chooover]

Bogner stands for sports and quality, activity and self-confidence. Bogner stands for the very personal luxury of being able to live ones own free and active life,... and the courage to do so. Sports and high quality are both among today's megatrends and becoming more important all the time. Bonger Ski Wear - The balance of sports and luxury.

Leave your slow-skiing friends in the wine bar and hit the mountain for some more turns in the Bogner Men's Rapid-T Ski Jacket...

...

edit - im still perflexed. high quality=megatrend? speechless...

[depressed skier forced to be LA]

The version I've heard is "At what elevation do deer turn into elk?"

yeah, I have heard that one too...crazy how elevation is able to make animals change species...i assume it is somewhere around tree line

[telepow]

Instructor at Bolton Valley tells about ten kids that the stop gate at the bullwheel is a wind sensor that shuts the lift down when it gets too windy. They were the type that ought to know what a stop gate is. Bullwheel riders, the whole lot of em.


Oh, and people thought my 94 waist sickbirds were cross-country skis

[TeleHoar]

"Does that yellow bus really go to Amarillo??"

[green mtns rider]

IIRC, > is a segue without a pause (i.e, Tweezer > Izabella from 12/7/97, Palace of Auburn Hills), -> is a segue with a slight pause (Tube -> Dayton Jam from 12/9/97 Nutter Center)

12/7/97 is great.

[Nuthon]

While working the front desk for Kirkwood lodging, had a lady come in around July & ask me
"Where do you put your moguls in the summertime"

I could not respond to this(due to an uncontrolable feeling of laughter that was welling up inside of me) and proceeded to walk into the back office & sent my manager out to answer her question.

[powder_prophet]

Not new: Some guy saying today "Those are some fat skis"

New: Doing so in reference to my Line Prophet 90's.

I love skiing in the SE

A few years back I heard that in reference to my old Skogen Sprang Pros (76 under foot) up at one of the Big Bear mtns.

12/7/97 is great.

12/9/97 is better...

[GunPowder]

Surprising numbers of people don't know where moguls come from, go ahead ask people:
Do you know how they make moguls?
"uhhh, are there hay bails under there or something?"

[emetic]

my friend hired snoller blades for a day as a joke... but in a touch of gaper irony he was seriously referring to them as "trick skis"

[Jer]

ok - you asked for it....

Today while working at Vail Pass, I was talking to a guy on a really nice snowmobile all decked out in the latest and greatest snomo gear. He said he was surprised to see so many FS people working on a Monday. I reminded him that it was a holiday....

His response: "oh, yeah, I forgot. It's Nigger Day."

I told him that I, um, need to, um, go, um, do something, um, important....muttermuttermutter

He told me to have a happy nigger day as I walked away.

You should have said, "Sir, I am a nigger!" and kicked him in the balls.

[TeleHoar]

"Follow me..."
Montana Skier

[mtskier]

"its really powdery today, y'all."

that word makes me cringe.

[leroy jenkins]

I was riding up a lift at moonlight about a week ago, on a NICE powder day when I look down and see this park rat in one of those orange helly hanson survival suits sideslipping down a very fun, rolly powder covered run.

I ussually try not to be an asshole, but I had to heckle him, so I yelled "TURN DUMBASS"

His response: "Its not so easy on center mounted park skis".

Funny, cus with the money he spend on the survival suit he could have bought some powder skis and maybe a fucking clue.

[fish85]

I was in the collins line today at alta and heard some one behind me say "Sputoolas...don't those look funny." I turned around and realized he was trying to pronounce spatula on the back of my skis. I think I may just have to call them sputoolas from now on.

[Erls]

Some parents asking me about lessons/the hill the other day:

Me: Hey, what type of runs do you kids ski on?
Parents: Well, back home we ski only black diamonds and blue squares.
Me: Ok, where are you from?
Parents: We are from Indiana.
Me: Oh... Ok. If you look behind me, look at the run under the Gondola. Do you ski that type of stuff? (Bwana - an easier black)
Parents: Are you kidding us? That must be atleast a triple black...
Me: Actually, that is one of our easier black runs...
Parents: Oh, in that case we ski it.

End of the day:
Parents: So how did our kids do?
Another Instructor: Well, we moved them to level 4 (not parallel on green, no hockey stop).
Parents: What, our kids are level 8 instructors.
Another Instructor: Actually, to be level 8 they must be parallel and zip lining black bumps.
Parents: This is outrageous. Our kids are level 8, and should have been in a level 8 class. We demand a full refund.

[pappag]

"Follow me..."
Montana Skier

BWAHAHAHAH!!!

[benfica09]

at Mt. Snow, VT over the weekend.
guy standing next to me at the lift line talking to his friend:


guy1: man, my ski boots seem to feel really loose after that run, should i buckle them tighter?
friend: oh yeah, that happens some times.
guy1: yeah, what do i do to fix it?
friend: well....whats yer din setting?
guy1: whats that?
friend: i heard if you have a high din, you should buckle the boot tighter.