DO NOT CALL - WTF???

[boarddad]

I knew it was too good to last. The politicos finally pass a law everyone loves and now it seems practically everyone either has found a way to skirt it or just ignores it. First it was the political groups, then anyone you've given your phone number to during a transaction, then the so-called "polls". I'm absolutely sick of it. The businesses cold calling irk me the most because they really are breaking the law and know it. Bastards usually find a way to hang up before I can get enough info to report them & press charges. Anyone have any success pulling the fingernails off of any of these douchebags?

DO NOT CALL means DO NOT CALL! Doesn't get much simpler than that.
</rant>

[Cliff Huckable]

Research has shown that the only viable solution is to move - to another country.
This problem is so bad in the US that people from other countries think Americans are just whining. But it isn't whining at all - this shit is a fucking plague. Disgusting that it is legal.
We got our AT&T land-line operational in Texas and as soon as we did, all sorts of douchecalls started coming in. I couldn't believe it - every call we got must have come from AT&T selling our number. No one else even knew it. We hadn't put the number on a single form, given it to a single business, employer, friend, etc.
AT&T: "Thanks for choosing us - now we are going to make even more money from you and make your life a telephone hell."

[gimpy]

the real problem will be when they start in on cell #'s.

[YourSupremeExcellency]

This is why I do not have a landline. I have a cell and cable internet. Nor do I give my number out, not even my banks or credit cards can contact me. In 3 years I have not had a single call from someone I didn't know. And if they started on cells then I'd just password protect my incomings.

[boarddad]

Research has shown that the only viable solution is to move - to another country.
This problem is so bad in the US that people from other countries think Americans are just whining. But it isn't whining at all - this shit is a fucking plague. Disgusting that it is legal.

If you're on The FEDERAL registry it is not legal. When I started getting calls again I checked to make sure it hadn't expired. Turns out the registry won't ever expire due to current legal wranglings. All my numbers, including my cell numbers are registered. Douchebags just don't bother to check the list because the chance of getting prosecuted is near nill. Next bastard that calls I'm going to get all their info and report it where real action will take place - the TGR forums!

Edit to add;
One of the exclusions in political parties (of course). My wife is a DEM, I was a GOP. I got so sick of the phone messages during the last election (from both sides mind you) that I changed to a 3'rd party. I've only gotten one political call since and I laid into them. Needless to say, I am no longer on the GOP phone list.

How do I know it's a cold call? They call my home #. Anyone important (friends & family only) get my cell #. It's a lot easier to change that if the need ever arises.

[TBS]

I just ask telemarketers if they are alone, if they are wearing underpants, and if talking on the phone makes them hot. Calls don't last more than 30 secs

[YourSupremeExcellency]

I just ask telemarketers if they are alone, if they are wearing underpants, and if talking on the phone makes them hot. Calls don't last more than 30 secs

...Haha.

[telepariah]

[SponsoredByDuctTape]

I'm on the Do Not Call Registry also. Lately, I've started getting calls that are a recording and go something like this:

"Hi, this is Dave from the carpet cleaners. We're running a special [blah, blah, blah]. Our cleaners will be in your neighborhood tomorrow. If you're interested in having your carpets cleaned, please contact one of our associates."

Problem is, "Dave" never says who he works for. And since there's about a zillion carpet cleaning vans in my neighborhood (all apartments) every week, there's no way to tell which one is "Dave's" company. I doubt any of the carpet cleaning guys would know what the hell I was talking about anyway, or would admit it if they did. I'm convinced there's a consortium of carpet cleaning companies who use "Dave," and just roll the dice that it will be their dude who you talk to in the neighborhood that day.

The other ones I get are automated calls from the "Message Center" telling me I have an "important message," and that I need to call some number (which is also automated). I called it once, was on hold about 1 second and hung up.

I just hang up on everybody now. Hung up on my pops the other day.

[SponsoredByDuctTape]

I just ask telemarketers if they are alone, if they are wearing underpants, and if talking on the phone makes them hot. Calls don't last more than 30 secs

An old roommate of mine would just say "Hang on a second," or "Let me get him," and then set down the phone and leave it.

You can also go this route:

"Hi, is this Newb McJongson?"
"Yes."
"Mr. McJongson, who is your current long distance provider?"
"Hey can I call you back at about 7pm your time?"
"Well, there won't be anyone here at that time?"
"Well give me your home number and I'll call you there."
"I can't do that."
"Why not? You're calling me at home, why can't I call you at home? Just give me your home number and I'll give you a call right at dinner time."

[G]

I love fucking with telemarketers, it's often the high point of my day.

It's a great excuse to have fun and be really offensive.



As soon as they start in, try to guess their ethnicity and then tell your most foul racist joke.

Or, play a quick version of: Are you smarter than a third grader?
Tell them they you will only let them talk to [whomever they called for] if they can prove that they are smarter than a third grader. Then ask them to answer progressively harder questions (I like using math problems) until they give up and you begin to taunt them for being stupider than a third grader.

Or work on your tourrettes syndrome act while they're selling you their stuff.

Fart noises are nice.

Engage them in conversation, but talk like you're retarded.

Ask them if they know anywhere you can buy some meth

During their sales pitch, walk into the bathroom and push out a loaf. Make sure it makes a big splash. Keep the phone near the shitter while you flush. Twice. See if they are fazed at all by this. Between flushes, yell out "God Damn You! Why won't you flush?!?!"

Midway through the conversation, begin repeating everything they say.

Listen to their whole spiel, and ask them lots of questions. When they finally believe that they have landed another sale, politely tell them that you would fuck their mother before you would give any satisfaction to a goddamn telemarketer.

If you're short on time - Phone in silverware drawer, slam drawer repeatedly.

Try to talk them into having some phone sex. Tell them how big your cock is. Works especially great if the telemarketer is a dude.

After they've begun their pitch, say,"hold on a second please, I'll be right back". Go get your girlfriend and have her help you act out a violent domestic dispute, with lots of slapping, screaming and crying.

[Bertier]

I worked a telemarketing summer job - interesting shit honestly. Here's some insight first hand:

It was terrible work - we did mortgage refi's. I wonder how this mortgage crisis ever happened... But seriously, every day my soul rotted.

But basically the DNC lists were full of loopholes. Like if you were registered for the Colorado DNC, since we were in Illinois we couldn't get in trouble. And you had to be on both the National and State DNC list's to qualify - because we're in a different state. Each DNC list had to be re-applied for yearly IIRC (almost no one knows this).

We would talk with people about their mortgage, collect all the necessary info about it from their current rate to balance to employment... etc. Had to meet some parameters. Then we would convince them to have a talk with a loan officer with no strings attached. We basically just got leads for the mortgage companies, each lead was $100 in company revenue.

So who are these devilish telemarketers? Well in my office it was 75&#37; Baptist. Like hardcore, baptist college attending, skirt to the ankles wearing, WTF is evolution thinking, god fearing Baptists. Mostly college aged people with some awkward adults in the mix.

The worst managed company I've ever worked for. The HR guy was a firefighter that worked P/T for this company when it first started and was friends with the owner. He was the biggest joke HR Director I've ever met. The owner was a New Yorker who probably grew up poor and has been overcompensating since his first paycheck. He drove a jacked up H2 with more accessories than I knew existed. His office had 3 plasmas and a top end sound system.

The company was making roughly $1-2 Million a year (company information was widely available), but it was structured to fail. For instance: they had 7 company cars on the books, 4 300M's, 2 Porsche Boxter S's ($3900/mo. each), and that H2. When the mortgage market finally backfired, I wondered how long they would last.

Those automatic dialers are insane. The one they had made about 8,000 calls per hour. Of those 8,000 calls only ~300-500 connect. And by connect I mean a noise is heard on the other end.

The lists they get are from several places - I never heard any confirmed sources but I did hear rumors of Grocery stores selling their "fresh values / preferred member type card" numbers and info.

Welcome to the wonderful world of telemarketing...

[Arty50]

I remember an article in the Journal a couple of years back about a guy who purposefully left his number off the DNC list. Whenever a telemarketer called, he would then ask them to put his number on their own Do Not Call Back list. Inevitably, they'd call back...several times. And that's when he'd file suit. He was turning something like 200-300k a year in lawsuit revenue because of this.

The same law that created the DNC list also has a provision which allows consumers to tell a company that they want to be put on the company's internal Do No Call Back list. If the company violates this, they're liable for fines. Fines that are paid directly to the recipient of the call.

[splat]

When you sign on with AT&T, the paperwork says they're gonna sell your number.
And gimpy, they already hit my cell regularly.
That Sienfeld clip is one of the most useful weapons ever created.
It's the automated shit I hate the most.

[Nobody Famous]

But basically the DNC lists were full of loopholes. Like if you were registered for the Colorado DNC, since we were in Illinois we couldn't get in trouble. And you had to be on both the National and State DNC list's to qualify - because we're in a different state. Each DNC list had to be re-applied for yearly IIRC (almost no one knows this).

I don't think that out of state thing is true. A state's DNC list applies to out of state callers. I've read about one state's AG going after businesses in another state.

A few years ago, Pennsylvania cut me a check for about $120 from their settlement from an out of state telemarketer. I put a number on the DNC list, and still got a few calls from some jackass. So I wrote down Jackass's name and number (acting like I was interested in product), then went to state attorney general's website (they administered state DNC list), put in the relevant info, and without any notice or warning about 9 months later I get a letter with a check in it, explaining in detail what happened, and how I got a portion of the fine they extracted from the telemarketer.

Haven't tried it since, cause almost all the calls stopped, except around election time. And you not going to get rich doing it, bit it was cool that it happened.

[Bertier]

I don't think that out of state thing is true. A state's DNC list applies to out of state callers. I've read about one state's AG going after businesses in another state.

A few years ago, Pennsylvania cut me a check for about $120 from their settlement from an out of state telemarketer. I put a number on the DNC list, and still got a few calls from some jackass. So I wrote down Jackass's name and number (acting like I was interested in product), then went to state attorney general's website (they administered state DNC list), put in the relevant info, and without any notice or warning about 9 months later I get a letter with a check in it, explaining in detail what happened, and how I got a portion of the fine they extracted from the telemarketer.

Haven't tried it since, cause almost all the calls stopped, except around election time. And you not going to get rich doing it, bit it was cool that it happened.

Well I guess they didn't really give a shit... It was also really hard to track us because we were calling on behalf of a mortgage company. We never mentioned the actual name of our company, only the company we were calling for. So when they tried to hunt down ACE Mortgage for instance, ACE would rebuttal that they have no call centers - which is true. Also, all the phone numbers were outbound only, inbound attempts would result in a disconnected message.

[TeleHoar]

From the days before a DNC when telemarketing was just starting to become annoying:

Caller: Hello...Mr Hoar? Blah blah blah...free dance lessons from Arthur Murray just for taking a short tour of our property...blah blah time-share blah blah...

TeleHoar: (long silence) ..thats not funny, who told you to call me?

Caller, Excuse me,(confused) I'm just calling to offer you free dance lessons for touring...

Telehoar: Yeah real funny pal...Who is this...free dance lessons? You know damn well I don't have any legs!

Caller:...(long silence, I can hear his world crushing around him as he never envisioned this scenario, probably quit his job right there.)

ha ha!

[boarddad]

I'm on the Do Not Call Registry also. Lately, I've started getting calls that are a recording and go something like this:

"Hi, this is Dave from the carpet cleaners. We're running a special [blah, blah, blah]. Our cleaners will be in your neighborhood tomorrow. If you're interested in having your carpets cleaned, please contact one of our associates."

Problem is, "Dave" never says who he works for. And since there's about a zillion carpet cleaning vans in my neighborhood (all apartments) every week, there's no way to tell which one is "Dave's" company. I doubt any of the carpet cleaning guys would know what the hell I was talking about anyway, or would admit it if they did. I'm convinced there's a consortium of carpet cleaning companies who use "Dave," and just roll the dice that it will be their dude who you talk to in the neighborhood that day.

"Dave" really gets around. That's who pissed me off enough to start this thread. I could tell they've pissed off a lot of people. I went ahead and acted like I wanted carpet cleaning (I only have carpet in my bedrooms - everything else is tile or wood) just to try and get some info out of them so I could report them. As soon as I let on that I wasn't happy about the intrusion -click-.

[G]

Hey Bertier, In your experience, what's the worst thing a person could possibly do to tick off a telemarketer?

[laseranimal]

my uncle(psychologist) used to play the I'm a depressed, suicidal. lunatic angle with telemarketers

every time he'd get a call, he'd pretend to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown and contemplating suicide, after talking to the person on the line for a while about what a horrible wreck his life was and how he just didn't feel like living anymore, nobody ever called back

[G]

Oh crap, what have I done?


I occasionally get calls for D, a roommate who moved away years ago, never to be heard from again.

The only people who still call asking for D are telemarketers. So, now hearing D's name on the phone automatically means "game on" for a round of telemarketer chicken (whomever hangs up first loses).

So I got one of those calls earlier this evening. Turns out it's a collection agency, I politely inform them that D is no longer here, and I have no further info. Then I got tired of chatting and became abusive 'till the jackass hung up.

Since then, they've called me three more times tonight. Have I just opened up a can of telemarketer whoop-ass? Is there any way to stop it?

[Bertier]

Hey Bertier, In your experience, what's the worst thing a person could possibly do to tick off a telemarketer?

Honestly I never got pissed off... I certainly didn't care about that job and my mindset was pretty easy going. My favorite calls were when they said "hold on" and put the phone by the TV... cause then I had an excuse to sit there and not make calls - plus it was often a hilarious Family Guy episode.

However, the "lifers" at the company. The ones that really "bought into the system", I'd say they would get most pissed off over losing a lead. So my recommendation would be overly friendly and cooperative, but at the same time slowing the pace with story time and bullshit (this way it wastes their time since often they get bonuses for performance)... then when the "sale" comes along you say something along the lines of "I'm just fuckin' with you... I don't want your fucking (insert product) - Peace."

I'd say that would truly piss some telemarketers off more than pranks.

[KnuckleDragger]

We finally changed our number a few years ago and have it both unlisted and unpublished. We registered with the national DNC list and whenever any company asks for our phone number, we give out our old number. We get maybe one or two calls a month which are easily avoided by looking at the caller ID before picking up.