Just another rant

[Lash1971]

My wife and I, who are both in our mid-30's, got married last summer in Mexico. We invited around 150 people and 70 made the trip. It was exactly the day we wanted to have for our wedding. Do it how you want it and just know that some people won't be able to make it. We were disappointed that some were unable to make the trip, but our immediate family and closest friends made it, and now we are known for having one of the funnest weddings ever. We have even been receiving requests to renew our vows in 5 years so everyone can make the trip again.

My point is make it the day you want, everyone else can be there if they choose.

[danimal's dead]

You're dad is right you really shouldn't get married, expecially after just a 4 month engagement, I don't know your situation, but you need to live together for a few years to make sure you can cohabitate.
50-60% of marriages end in divorce. Divorce can ruin you financially, listen to your dad.

[timvwcom]

...not your drunk uncle who tells my girlfriend she has a great rack all night (true story, this happened at the Labor day one..)

Can you back that claim up? I think you should provide pics to prove your girlfriend has a great rack!

[CountryFunk]

[QUOTE=Boomer28;1543033]Something to add: Fuck people who choose to get married on a holiday long weekend. I had a wedding on Memorial Day & Labor day this year, last year one on Memorial day & the 4th of July and the 4th the year before. I mean what the fucking fuck?

Another angle on the holdiay weekend thing - since we paid for everything when we got married we chose Labor Day weekend on purpose to weed out freeloaders - if you didn't care enough about either one of us to burn a 3-day to come to the wedding then you probably didn't really need to be there. But, and this was the beauty of the whole thing, we could still invite you (which was in no way trolling for presents, we didn't send anybody who we didn't really want to come an invite, and no hard feelings at all if somebody didn't show).

All 6 of us had a great time ...

[Jax]

Best Wedding Ever (mine, of course):

http://www.tetongravity.com/forums/s...t=baja+wedding

It's what we both wanted. Best of luck in coming to a decision on yours.

[Boomer28]

Another angle on the holdiay weekend thing - since we paid for everything when we got married we chose Labor Day weekend on purpose to weed out freeloaders - if you didn't care enough about either one of us to burn a 3-day to come to the wedding then you probably didn't really need to be there. But, and this was the beauty of the whole thing, we could still invite you (which was in no way trolling for presents, we didn't send anybody who we didn't really want to come an invite, and no hard feelings at all if somebody didn't show).

All 6 of us had a great time ...

Not many people I know are worried about "weeding out freeloaders"...Personally I would never even consider inviting someone I would consider a "freeloader", sorry you had that problem....

Of course you or your family pays for everything but call me "old fashion", I usually pay for my plate and that of my date at any wedding, usually in cold hard cash of $200+ each, not to mention bachelor parties, engagement party gifts, travel, etc.

Let's tally up a rough cost:

Bachelor/ette party:
Local Dinner/Drinking/Whoring: $150-$250
Vegas/Other Travel Bender: $800+++++

Engagement Party:
Travel + Gift: $50-$150

In the wedding party?
Him: Tux rental $75-$150
Her: Seafoam dress you'll never wear again: $200-$600

Travel to wedding?
Car: 100 R/T: $40, go up from there
Plane: $250-$500 domestic, $500-$1200 international
Hotel: Minimum of $100/night so let's say $200-$500

Gift:
Solo: $150-$500 or even more depending on who it is and who you are
w/ Date: $300-$500

Misc:
Money spent on lunch, coffee, asprin, hookers, blow: $100 minimum pp for a 2-night wedding depending on where you are.

So on the low end I am spending >$600 if I am in the wedding, not flying, staying only 1 night, giving a modest gift, rolling solo and doing the bachelor party festivities.

On the high end its well over $1,500 if you are traveling for the wedding + bachelor party, brinding a date and giving a nice gift at the engagement party and wedding.

Now let's weight that vs.
Open bar: 4 hours of BOOZIN' $80-$100 for me, $30-$50 for date
Cocktail whore-derves: $15
Filet Mignon/Seafood Dinner: $30

So let's say my max benefit is $200 worth of food & booze if the wedding is top notch. Either way, I'm not seeing the financial benefit to going to a wedding unless you are a total dirtbag-cheap-as-fuck ass clown, which in that case I probably wouldn't invite you in the first place.

**Keep in mind this example is for the typical cookie-cutter boring as fuck wedding every girl dreams of from age 3.

[Boomer28]

Best Wedding Ever (mine, of course):

http://www.tetongravity.com/forums/s...t=baja+wedding

It's what we both wanted. Best of luck in coming to a decision on yours.

Well played man, that looked amazing. Way to think outside the wedding box and do something that reflected you and your wife.

[Odin]

. Way to think outside the wedding box and do something that reflected you and your wife.

Strike that... reverse it.

[The AD]

Gift:
Solo: $150-$500 or even more depending on who it is and who you are
w/ Date: $300-$500.

Either I'm a total cheapskate or your friends and family have a hell of a lot more money than I do.

[CountryFunk]

All my friends are dirtbag-cheap-as-fucks, but only an ass clown would give me a $500 wedding gift

[Jax]

Way to think outside the wedding box and do something that reflected you and your wife.

I AM the wife.

[boarddad]

... All I want is for Ashley to have the day that she wants...

That's it. That's all you need to do. Yes it's expensive, yes you can't afford it, but if you succeed in doing that the rest of your lives will be a whole lot easier. If you scrimp and sacrifice to make everyone else happy your lives will be a living hell because SHE didn't get what she really wanted. Bottom line is it's her day. You'd be surprized how little even your attendance is necessary.

One other thing to think about - we planned our wedding so it was convenient for us. We took a long look at the list of invitees and identified how many were "locks" to be there. 60% of THOSE people were actually there. Turns out that's about normal for any wedding. Why twist your life inside-out for the 40% who aren't going to show up anyway? FWIW, 100% of the people that did go to my wedding had the time of their lives - just as we had planned.

[Boomer28]

All my friends are dirtbag-cheap-as-fucks, but only an ass clown would give me a $500 wedding gift

Either I'm a total cheapskate or your friends and family have a hell of a lot more money than I do.

I usually give between $150/$250 myself for a wedding gift if it is a very good freind/family, but at least $100 to pay for my plate at a "traditional" wedding.

Up this with a guest and I don't feel this is out of line exorbinant.

There have been a few occations where I have given a gift of $400+ and it was for people that have done more than I could have ever expected for me in my life and I feel getting them the super nice knife set or a fat check is a small token of grattitude.

Now keep in mind I'm in my late 20's, have a good job and so do most of my friends. If i was getting married and I had a friend who was not as fortunante as me come, I would of course not get pissed if they only gave me a smaller gift, I'm not a complete dick.

[Donkey Punch]

You're dad is right you really shouldn't get married, expecially after just a 4 month engagement, I don't know your situation, but you need to live together for a few years to make sure you can cohabitate.
50-60% of marriages end in divorce. Divorce can ruin you financially, listen to your dad.

Well your half right if we had only been dating etc for four months you would have hit the nail right on the head. However we have been "engaged" for four months, and dating for 4.5 years and living together for 4.25 years. So I think we are good to go on that front. My dad is just a cynic who hates life.