OMG, just got a call from Daycare today. Too funny.

So our little Taylor, just 2 now is quite interesting at this stage.

Last night at dinner my wife said "bitch" as she was bitching about something, who knows. We like to bitch. So a minute later Taylor stands up in her chair and I asked her to please sit down.

"No! Daddy Bitch!!" is what I got. Then she points at me. Within seconds, she turns to mom and says "Mommy Bitch" and points at her.


We both lost it and burst out in laughter. It was just too freaking funny. I know we are supposed to be role models and all, but it was not to be this time. We laughed and hard.


So I get a call on the cell at work here and our provider asks what is happening at home and if I needed to tell her something. Inside me I said, oh shit, our 2 year old is getting expelled, as I had an idea of what she said. I explain that she heard the term at home and we did not do a good job of keeping our hysterical laughter to ourselves and Taylor now thinks it is funny to say. Our provider agreed as she said she almost died laughing it hurt so bad. Taylor was running around to all the kids pointing at them saying "Bitch!". :rolleyes:

So tonight we have some work to do and get this stopped. Oops.


But I am still laughing. :biggrin:

Move onto germanic variations of der poopenhausen(r) next.:yourock:

If you can stifle a smile while you're trying to deal with this tonight...then you have some kind of resolve man. TOO funny!!!
:)
Sprite

Ron,
http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:...20pointing.jpg
BITCH!

uh, yeah. my 2-year old son repeated "No fucking way!" from his carseat after I said it on my cell phone last week. "No Fucking Way!"


Fortunately it hasn't come out again.


I think Generation Z is going to have a lot more profanity at younger ages.

Sprite, Woodsy and Pope,


God help me. I have been laughing all day. Telling my coworkers has been a delight too, especially the ones from here and have never left the valley. :the_finge


Erica says I taught her "shit" too, but I have yet to hear it so I do not believe it. :p


Plus Erica wants to put some wine down tonight. We are screwed. :the_finge :the_finge



Wonder what else I should start saying now. :FIREdevil

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/129/3...0f15d8450c.jpg

No Fucking Way!

Oh God Buzz...you gotta purge "NFW" out of your vocab, stat!

But if she ever says it you have to put up an mpeg for us so we can all piss ourselves here.
:the_finge
Sprite

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by snowsprite

Oh God Buzz...you gotta purge "NFW" out of your vocab, stat!

But if she ever says it you have to put up an mpeg for us so we can all piss ourselves here.
:the_finge
Sprite

---

You ARE evil. I so want to get this on video now. Little wild blonde haired girl saying that, it would almost be worth the wife's wrath. Maybe.

We shall see what happens on Sunday watching the Daytona 500 with a cooler next to me so I only have to get up to pee.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Buzzworthy

We shall see what happens on Sunday watching the Daytona 500 with a cooler next to me so I only have to get up to pee.

---

wear depends, REALLY bond with your little girl and never leave the chair!
so she can go int oschool with a new phrase
Daddys peeing his pants!

Imagine the call from daycare when Taylor learns to say "I am armed and my dick hurts!"

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Woodsy

wear depends, REALLY bond with your little girl and never leave the chair!
so she can go int oschool with a new phrase
Daddys peeing his pants!

---

I have absolutely no problem going up to the counter with a Club or High Society (with bonus DVD of course) with a nice grin on my face, but buying diapers that large is simply crossing my line. But you have me thinking.


And Viva, I am changing the "parent contact" to my wife now. :biggrin:

sheeyit brother,
what number is the depends car?
just look the cashier in the eye and say
Day tona
and wink atem

My wife was grocery shopping with our then 2 year old (who is now 4), and she, for some reason kept saying "JESUS CHRIST, MOMMY!!!, JESUS CHRIST!!! (her tone and inflection apparently left no doubt that she did NOT learn that in church) My wife couldn't get her to shut up, either... the kid thought it was funny as hell, cause my wife was freaking out.

Our small one can't say "r" very clearly, and said loudly at a family gathering "I need a fork and spoon!" But, that's not what most people heard. Many of us laughed, some did not.

Now it's routine dinner-table banter.

Today being v-day and all...........do you spoon first and fork later, or is it the other way around.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Buzzworthy

I have absolutely no problem going up to the counter with a Club or High Society (with bonus DVD of course) with a nice grin on my face, but buying diapers that large is simply crossing my line. But you have me thinking.


And Viva, I am changing the "parent contact" to my wife now. :biggrin:

---

just pee in the cooler

obviously

Too funny!

Reminds me of when we were kids (let's say about 1963) and my dad used to take us all in his VW Beetle down to the train station to pick up his mom, who thankfully spoke little English. So one time we picked up Grandma and on the way home the four of us little tykes would lean one way on a left turn, crushing the kid on the end, and then lean back the other way on a right, crushing the other kid. Jimmy was the smallest at about 3 and was on the receiving end of an especially hard right. He pushed back hard and yelled at Joe,
"Get offa me, you fucking prick!"

Dad kept turning right until he drove up on the curb. He loves to tell that story to this day. :cool: :tongue: :wink:

Some people's kids I tell ya. :the_finge


Keep the stories coming. I really find this hilarious. Kids are a freaking riot!!

:) Ha, I was reading this and laughed so my 5 year old asked what was so funny
so eventually (persistant as hell) I had to tell him. He said " oh that's not as bad as Fucker" which I found out he learned on the playground at school.
So your doomed in today's society.:frown:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Trashcan

:) Ha, I was reading this and laughed so my 5 year old asked what was so funny
so eventually (persistant as hell) I had to tell him. He said " oh that's not as bad as Fucker" which I found out he learned on the playground at school.
So your doomed in today's society.:frown:

---

ROTHFLMAO!!!!!

Still laughing. Sweet.


Woodsy, I change enough diapers. I think I can stumble to the potty. ;)

[QUOTE=Buzzworthy;1131675]ROTHFLMAO!!!!!

Still laughing. Sweet.

Yaeh, what else is in the foul mouth arsenal that he will unleash at the worst possible moment.:eek:

Never a dull moment is it?:)

My daughter was playing a video game when she was about 4yo and something bad happened in the game. With perefct inflection and usage she comes out with "Fucker." I was impressed with the proper usage.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Beaver

My daughter was playing a video game when she was about 4yo and something bad happened in the game. With perefct inflection and usage she comes out with "Fucker." I was impressed with the proper usage.

---

Heh, I got the same thing when my son caught me playing Half Life 2 while the wife was out (not allowed) he said "Get the fuckers!!". At the time I agreed with his assessment.:cool:

http://img.shopping.com/cctool/PrdIm...2001124257.JPG

now, who's got some jello pudding? mm-mmm-mmm

We were driving out of the neighborhood when Thing 2 was about 3. We have this fancy fake rock waterfall thingy at the entrance. Thing 2 looked and said, "Aw, dammit, the falls aren't on." Hubby about drove off the road and I about busted a gut.

Dick Trickle drives the Depends car #01

How appropriate this thread has degenerated to Depends already. I work in Long Term Care (lots of Depends there, the new technology works quite well but I would recommend getting an RN friend to set you up with an indwelling catheter for real Daytona couch comfort).

Anyway, we have a resident who is 95 years old. Her vocabulary is limited, but BITCH is still in there and she has no hesitation using it, You have just gifted your child with a life long skill, be proud of her.

now that right there is a classic example of the powmag/TGR random tangent full circle.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Pope Benedict XVI

uh, yeah. my 2-year old son repeated "No fucking way!" from his carseat after I said it on my cell phone last week. "No Fucking Way!"

Fortunately it hasn't come out again.

I think Generation Z is going to have a lot more profanity at younger ages.

---

Deja Vu- Last summer, I'm driving and I'm yelling at the driver in front of me, without any foul adjectives, and my son from his car seat yells, "Yeah! Move over Fuckhead!" I had some serious esplainin' to do when I got home.

http://www.upscaleaudio.com/rare/rickjames.jpg

When my oldest was mid 2's, early 3's he also had the problem with the pronouncing the tr in truck. Anyway I got a new truck during this time and it was great to hear that he went to school and told people that his daddy bought a new black fuck yesterday.

Then onedya we are riding through town and he saw a future shopping center being graded off. Much to our surprise he say "Oh shit, they are building aother damn grocery store, just what we need". I about pissed my pants with this one since he was still barley 3.

When my son was around 2 1/2 he had this little teddy bear he slept with (thing got lost daily). So at bedtime we saying "okay time for bed" and he replies " GODDAMMIT wait a minute I can't find teddy bear!!"" Don't know where he got that from.:rolleyes2

So this morning I'm sledding with my kids at their elementary school - I love snow days. It's icy as hell - read: FAST - and everyone's having a ball. My daughter (6) gets on the platter that we brought and I push her to really get her going. She finds the one bump on the ~200ft long run, catches 2ft of air, and lands on her FACE! By the time I got there another parent (a mom) was standing there doing the "what do we do" dance.

I whip off my gloves, hug her 'til she stops crying, take a long close look at her and wipe the blood/snot off her face. She has a good size scrape under one eye and a fat lip that's bleeding - other than that she's merely shaken up.

When she calmed down I looked in her eyes and asked her: "So, wanna do it again?"

The mother looked at me like I was high, and a Dad that had walked up behind me starts laughing his ass of. My daughter smiled and asked if we could go home, make some hot chocolate for her and her brother, and watch a movie (which they're doing now.)

I may not be the best parent, but sometimes I say the right thing.

Great stories, kids really are funny.

Fixing this was rather easy. We told her a few words that come out of our mouths and told her they are grown up words and she should not say them. Instead we taught her to say "Holy Cow!" and then when she got that down, I would say a few choice words and Taylor would then say, "daddy no, say holy cow".

So now when I fuck up again, or my wife does, we will teach her another neat phrase. :cool:

Heard this second hand, but...

My cousin and her husband were driving with their twoish year old daughter at the time, Abby. Her daddy was trying to get her to say "daddy's a great daddy" or something along those lines. He would say "Abby, what is daddy?" Finally, she answered, with a devilish grin, "Daddy's a dumb ass!"

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Buzzworthy

We shall see what happens on Sunday watching the Daytona 500 with a cooler next to me so I only have to get up to pee.

---

Why not just use the empties as "receptacles"?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by SKISC

When my oldest was mid 2's, early 3's he also had the problem with the pronouncing the tr in truck. Anyway I got a new truck during this time and it was great to hear that he went to school and told people that his daddy bought a new black fuck yesterday

---

My little brother was similar, except my dad owned a dump truck, Steve would point at dump trucks in stores and say "Daddy's big dumb fuck". My step-mom loved explaining that to everyone in earshot.

so this morning my wife isn;t feeling well. She says "I dunno, it's almost liek I feel when I'm pregnant..."

My 2.5 year old daughter replies :"Yeah, I'm pregnant, too!"

Heh. So I am helping out by watching my nephew while his mom does some household chores in the next room. He's full on terrible twos and begins that fake crying that they do when they are not getting their way and are just frustrated. So I respond with...

"Blah, blah, blah!"

It worked. His eyes got really big and he stopped the mini tantrum immediately. Later that night I get the call. At dinnertime he's getting scolded for acting out during dinner by his dad. His response...

"Blah, blah, blah!"

Pops completely blindsided by this phrase, in context and of course with perfect inflection, bursts out laughing. It takes a few months to train the little guy out of that one.